


Some Color

by marrieddorks



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Alternate Universe - Small Town, Alternate Universe - Tattoo Parlor, M/M, Tattoos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-28
Updated: 2015-07-28
Packaged: 2018-04-11 14:46:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 56,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4439888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marrieddorks/pseuds/marrieddorks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is your typical guy-meets-guy story, except, well, maybe it isn’t. When jaded-tattoo artist Jensen moved to Nelsonville, a small but charming town in Indiana, to open his own tattoo parlor he hoped for many things.  Falling in love was not one of them, however.  A few years down the road he seemed to have achieved quite a bit - a successful business, good (and very unique) friends, and a content, if a bit quiet, life.  That’s where Jared comes in.  He buys the deserted shop next to Jensen’s (and converts it into a flower shop of all things) as well as the apartment above it, making them neighbors in every sense.  Jared quickly takes the hearts of Jensen’s friends by storm and Jensen finds his own is already on the line too, but he’s still fighting tooth and nail.  When not even the matchmaking skills of their friends seem do anything to convince these stupid boys that they are perfect for each other, a blow of fate makes Jensen finally reconsider everything.  But is Jensen really willing to let Jared in or will past hurts ruin his chance of ever being happy with another person?  And what secrets is Jared hiding and just how much is that going to affect them all?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [buttheyrebrothers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/buttheyrebrothers/gifts).



> Hi, everyone! Welcome to my entry for this year's SPN_J2_Big_Bang! I am so excited to share this with you and just as excited to do this again next year. It's been eventful and, at times, stressful, but so worth it. I want to give a big shout-out to everyone that made this story possible, especially my artist, blondebitz, and most importantly my beta reader and amazing friend, buttheyrebrothers. Sandy, this story would be nothing without you.

_Some Color_

Prologue

_“Living in a small town...is like living in a large family of rather uncongenial relations. Sometimes it’s fun, and sometimes it’s perfectly awful, but it’s always good for you. People in large towns are like only-children.”- Joyce Dennys_

Nelsonville was a cute little town of five thousand people. The buildings were old, almost all made of brick, and everyone knew everyone. If you went to the local diner you would see familiar faces and your meal would be placed in front of you without you even needing to order. It may seem strange to some, living in a town where everyone knows everything about your life, but the residents of Nelsonville enjoyed it.

Similar to other small towns, Nelsonville rarely changed. The buildings, no matter the age, stayed the same, the schools stayed the same, the array of Mom-and-Pop shops stayed the same, and the people stayed the same. That’s why Jensen Ackles moving in had been such a big deal five years ago.

Jensen Ackles was a 6’1”, twenty-two year old Texan with sandy brown hair, spring green eyes, full bow-shaped lips, a chiseled jawline, and seven black-ink tattoos across his freckled skin. He had been a recent graduate from the University of Texas at the time he came looking into Nelsonville. Though he had majored in physical therapy he hadn’t come to town for anything related to that. Instead he had come to town in hope of opening up a tattoo parlor.

When he was eighteen years old Jensen got his first tattoo from Chris, a friend who lived just a few towns over from Nelsonville. Sure, the free bird tattoo was cliché, but Jensen never regretted it. Five black birds rested on the inside of his left bicep to represent his first taste of freedom from his parents and his acceptance of his sexuality.

He always knew he had been a bit different than most other people, but he could never really put a finger on why. He did all the typical “guy” things – played sports, videogames, ate too much food, got in a few fist fights, and did stupid, reckless stuff on a daily basis. However, girls never quite did to him what they did to other guys. His friends would talk about girls at lunch or after school, talking about their breasts and asses and lips, and Jensen would just agree absentmindedly because he knew that was what was expected of him. He even tried dating a girl just to feel normal. He and Danneel, a good friend of his, tried dating their junior year of high school. Danneel was everything a guy could want; she was smart, beautiful, funny, and feisty. But Jensen had never felt more for her than friendship. It wasn’t long after they broke up that Jensen realized he was gay.

From the moment the needle in Chris’ hand first touched his skin, outlining the small birds, it was as though Jensen just couldn’t stop getting tattoos. It felt right, like filling in the missing pieces to the puzzle that was himself.

When he was nineteen he decided to start an apprenticeship with Chris. Christian Kane was a family friend. Four years older and with an attitude, but loyal through-and-through, Chris had always been someone Jensen looked up to. After three years working with Chris, Jensen was licensed and looking for a place of his own to start a shop. He wanted to stay close enough to Chris so that they could still hang out and keep in contact easily, but far enough away that they wouldn’t have to compete against one another. That’s when he found Nelsonville.

Nelsonville was perfect; it was located just outside of a popular college town and lacked any tattoo parlors of its own. He found several storefronts for sale and bought one quickly. Soon he was fixing it up, making supply orders, drawing designs, and Sigil was up and running.

The only thing that made Jensen question a move to Nelsonville happened to be the residents of the town. Would they accept him being tattooed? Would they accept him being gay? Small towns could be unpredictable to newcomers, especially ones that didn’t fit their norm. Jensen vividly remembered everything about his first few weeks in Nelsonville.

It had been the middle of June and Jensen was at his shop fixing up the outside. It needed a lot of work – the exterior required power washing, the awning had to be replaced, the boards needed to be removed from the windows, and the door, like the awning, had to be replaced. He was standing on a ladder in a faded pair of blue jeans and a white wife beater that was stuck to his skin with sweat. The faded, weather-worn awning was on the ground below, Jensen having pulled the thinned fabric from the metal that held it to the building. He was just getting ready to step off the ladder when a voice sounded behind him.

“Excuse me,” the voice began, startling Jensen. He jumped slightly and heard two giggles. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Jensen turned around to see a pretty woman clutching the hand of a young girl. The woman had long brown hair, deep brown eyes, and a warm smile on her face. They young girl had bobbed blonde hair and brown eyes that matched the woman’s own. “I’m Genevieve Cortese, but you can just call me Gen if you want. This is my niece, Hannah.” Hannah smiled shyly as she hid behind Genevieve’s leg and Jensen couldn’t help but smile back.

“I’m Jensen Ackles, but you can just call me Jensen,” he said as he wiped his hands on his jeans before shaking Genevieve’s hand. “I do occasionally get called Jen, too, so I hope that won’t be a problem.” Genevieve laughed and shook his hand with a grip far beyond her 5’4” stature.

“Not at all.” She smiled down at Hannah and gently nudged her forward. The young girl looked slightly scared, but Genevieve only smiled reassuringly at her. Hannah held a plastic cup filled to the brim with ice.

“I made lemond-aid,” she said in a small voice. Jensen knelt down so he was at eye level.

“For me?” he asked. Hannah nodded, her short blonde hair swinging. Gently he closed his hand around the cup. “Thank you very much, Hannah.” She giggled as Jensen brought the cup to his lips and slurped the drink noisily. It took all he had to not twist his face from the too-sour taste that entered his mouth. He stood back up when Genevieve began to speak.

“We just wanted to stop by and welcome you to town and give you some relief from the heat. You’ve been working hard.”

“Well thank you very much. I really appreciate it,” he responded back genuinely.

“I sure hope you’re ready to get this from everyone. We’re not used to newcomers around here and everyone is in a tizzy,” Genevieve warned with a laugh. She wasn’t wrong either.

After she left, leaving her number, her brother’s number, and her own mother’s number in case Jensen needed anything, Jensen felt as though every person in town stopped by his shop to meet him. Kind, old Ms. Joyce stopped by around three to give him a casserole and a freshly baked pie, asking all about his family back home and telling him stories of her late husband, Zeke. Grumpy Mr. Rob hobbled by sometime that afternoon. When he asked Jensen what his shop was and Jensen answered, he rolled up his sleeves to reveal some tattoos across his forearms. He said he got them during World War II with his unit. Tom Welling, the young, clean-cut son of the realtor who sold Jensen the shop dropped in bringing along with him his friend Mike Rosenbaum. The three of them were close in age and soon they invited Jensen out for drinks later that week. A few more people stopped by before Jensen retired for the evening, the most memorable being Misha. Misha Collins was a strange man, but extremely nice and his strangeness was kind of admirable. A recent divorcee, Misha was raising a son (a sassy four-year-old at that) by himself.

“Nice place,” Misha had called out just as Jensen pulled the door from its hinges and it clattered to the ground. Jensen had looked up as he wiped the sweat dripping down his forehead. He smiled when he saw a man with bright blue eyes (very similar to Chris’) with a young child that sported a mess of dirty blonde hair sitting on his shoulders.

“It’s a work in progress,” Jensen couldn’t help but sigh. He kicked at the door on the ground and winced when it hurt more than it should have. “Ow.” The child giggled outright at Jensen’s pain and his father grinned up at him.

“I apologize. West here likes to laugh when people do something stupid, like kick a door and expect it not to hurt,” he laughed. “I’m Misha Collins and this ray of sunshine is my son, West.” Misha had only stopped by for a few minutes, but the conversation was nice (and a bit awkward when Misha invited him to a yoga session which Jensen, definitely, turned down) minus the pause they had to make to stop West from playing with a drill.

And that had been how Jensen’s first few weeks in Nelsonville went. Everyone welcomed him with open arms despite his tattoos and, later, when people found out, his sexuality. Sometimes Tom, Mike, or Misha would stop by to help him hang up light fixtures or Genevieve would help him paint the walls. It didn’t take long for Jensen to adjust to the almost-never-changing atmosphere of Nelsonville.

Five years passed and, as expected, not much had changed in the town. The people were the same, if a bit older, the buildings and the schools were the same, and the array of stores were the same. The biggest change, in all honesty, were the two additional tattoos Jensen gained.

Yes, the little town of Nelsonville and its residents hadn’t experienced much change at all in the last five years. Well change was coming and no one would be able to guess just how much it would affect them all.


	2. Chapter 1

_Some Color_

Chapter 1

_“The first step to believing something is true is wanting to believe it is true…or being afraid it is.” – Terry Goodkind_

Wintertime in Nelsonville was beautiful. Powdery, white snow covered the sidewalks and roads thoroughly, setting nicely against the pale blue of the sky. White lights swirled around light posts, leading up to green wreaths tied with red bows. All of the shops that littered downtown were decorated with wreaths, lights, and ornaments. Children ran across the snow-covered lawns in their giant winter coats and snow boots while they hurled snowballs at one another. Couples walked down the sidewalk huddled against each other, their hands either clasped together or around steaming cups of coffee. It was entirely picturesque.

Jensen had just left Bobbie’s Diner with a coffee-to-go in one gloved hand. Bobbie was the sweetest old woman. Her short-cropped gray hair showed off her kind smile, the one you saw when she isn’t playing grandmother to everyone, lecturing them on how they were just so skinny, something she said to everyone no matter their size. She would remedy that by putting a plate filled with good homemade southern food on it. Jensen went there every Thursday morning to say hello to Bobbie as she ran, or walked as quickly as she could, between the kitchen and the dining area, doting on Jensen like he was her own grandson. Though it could be overwhelming at times Jensen really appreciated it. It made him feel at home. It made him feel like he belonged.

He rounded a corner to turn on the street of his shop and his home. He walked past the empty storefronts like he did every day, not paying much attention until something caught his eye. In every abandoned store there was a red and white ‘For Sale’ sign with fading black ink giving a number one should call if interested. Instead of the red and white sign, however, a brand new blue and white sign reading ‘Sold’ sat in the window of the shop next to Jensen’s own.

Jensen brought his walk to a halt in front of the shop. It looked almost identical to how Jensen’s shop looked when he first bought it. Boards covered most of the windows, minus where the now ‘Sold’ sign sat, the outside needed power-washed, the entire interior would need repainted, the awning replaced, and every fixture would need changed. It would be a lot of work, but Jensen’s own shop was a testament that it could be done and it could be done well.

He wasn’t sure how long he stood out there in the cold squinting at the newly bought shop with questions flickering across his mind. The small-town mentality had wormed its way into him these last five years and he was both curious and slightly worried. He wasn’t going to get any answers standing out here in the cold though, so he went inside his warm shop, his mind still racing.

xxx

“Did you know someone bought the place next door?” Misha asked as he bounded up the stairs and threw Jensen’s bedroom door open. Jensen turned to face Misha from where he was lounging on his bed, laptop resting against his legs, and glared.

“How did you even get in?”

“I picked the lock,” he answered casually. “But did you hear me?”

“Yes, I heard you and yes, I’m aware,” Jensen mumbled as he shut his laptop, not even bothering to question Misha about picking the lock. It wouldn’t be the first time anyway.

“Any idea who?” Misha questioned as he flopped down on Jensen’s desk chair. Jensen shrugged.

“No idea.”

“Well, the whole town’s a-buzz. It’s just like when you bought this place. Everyone is dying to know who’s moving in.”

“Hopefully it all works out like my move did,” Jensen remarked, a hint of uneasiness seeping into his tone.

“Awww, don’t worry, Jensen. We’ll all still love you best, I promise.” Misha stood up from his seat and tried to smother Jensen, whom shoved at him, with a hug.

“Get off of me,” he demanded, but with no malice behind the words. He pursed his lips as he thought for a moment. “I know it’s Thursday, but do you think Mike and Tom would be up for guy’s night?”

“We live in Nelsonville, man. Not like there’s anything else to do.”

xxx

As expected Mike and Tom were totally up for a guy’s night. Though Jensen was looking forward to kicking back with Mike, Tom, and Misha, he had ulterior motives. Within the last five years Tom had taken over the family’s real estate business. If anyone would know about the place next door it would be Tom.

He showed up to Mike’s just after nine. The others were already there and Jensen let himself in. They were sitting around Mike’s kitchen table with beers in hand and a game of poker getting started.

“Jensen!” Mike yelled, tossing him a beer. They all greeted each other as Jensen sat down to join in the game. Soon they fell into their usual routine of talking about their lives while throwing jibes at one another.

“So I bring West to work, right? And he’s running around, acting like kids usually do, so I just kind of let him go. Anyway, a few minutes later Genevieve comes in with this bowl of soup and hands it to me, saying it’s on the house. Being the idiot I am I didn’t bother to smell it or even look at it and just took a bite,” Misha paused to look at his cards and take another swig of beer. “It was the vilest thing I’ve ever tasted in my entire life. Turns out West decided to experiment in the kitchen again and thought that the tomato soup needed marshmallows, strawberry jam, soy sauce, and chopped cabbage. And Genevieve, being the horrible evil woman she is, punished me.” All the guys chuckled.

“You’re lucky she caught it before you served it this time,” Tom laughed. Jensen recalled the story of Peter, head of the volunteer fire department, eating the pasta that West had generously helped make. Despite what West may believe, there can only be so much mustard in something. They continued to chat and finally Jensen sucked in a breath.

“So what do you know about my new neighbor?”

Tom smirked and Mike’s expression matched.

“I was wondering when you were going to ask,” Tom said. “I don’t know much at all actually. But I can tell you who does.”

“Who is that?”

“Genevieve.”

“Genevieve?” the other three asked in unison.

“It’s a friend of hers,” Tom shrugged. “She said he was looking to move, maybe open up a shop, and suddenly she’s calling me saying he wanted a place here. That’s all I know.”

“Well if Genevieve’s friends with the guy, he can’t be too bad,” Mike announced after a minute.

“What are you talking about? If he’s friends with Genevieve he’s probably a devil-spawn from the seventh circle of hell itself,” Misha argued.

“Oh my god, get over the soup-thing!” They started arguing about the soup again and Jensen joined in though his mind was elsewhere. He’d have to ask Genevieve about her friend soon.

xxx

He got the chance just a day later. He was walking towards the convenience store when he passed the park. Genevieve was there with her brother, sister-in-law, and their daughter, Hannah, whom Jensen had seen grow from a short-haired blonde five year old to a ten year old brunette Rapunzel. Genevieve saw him approaching and waved in greeting. Jensen waved back quickly then stuffed his hands back in his pockets.

“When were you going to tell me your friend was moving in?” he asked as soon as he was close enough to not yell. Genevieve rolled her eyes.

“Hi, Jensen. I’m fine, how are you? Good? Great!” she answered herself sarcastically. Jensen smirked and ran a hand through his hair.

“I’m serious, Genevieve, what the hell? I have to find out from Tom that your friend bought the place.”

“I’ll have you know that it happens to be my best friend that bought the place and I wasn’t even sure if he was going to or not. I just showed him around for the few hours he was actually here and he, being the excitable spaz he is, decided to up and buy the place on the spot.”

“I’m hurt. I thought I was your best friend,” Jensen mocked with a hand over his heart.

“Awww, you are. After all, a girl can never have too many guy friends,” she said, referring to the fact that every single one of her friends was male with the exception of Danneel who didn’t even live in town and wasn’t a friend on Genevieve’s own accord. After all, she met Danneel through Jensen.

“When does he move in?”

“Not until spring. He’s got a lot of stuff to settle back home, but he is hiring some people to fix up the shop for him so he can get started right away.”

“What kind of shop is he opening?” The worry of competition snuck its way back into his mind. It wasn’t logical that someone else would open a tattoo parlor in Nelsonville, but Jensen couldn’t risk it. He was benefiting greatly from the college students that frequented his shop every week.

“Relax, Jensen,” Genevieve laughed, sensing his apprehension. “He’s opening a flower shop.” Jensen stared at her, waiting for her to say ‘Just kidding!’ but it never came.

“What? Does he wear pink polo shirts, fitted khakis, boat shoes, and a cardigan over his shoulders, just below his perfectly highlighted and styled hair?” he asked incredulously.

“Oh, hon,” she started, a hand coming up to pat him on the back. “Just wait until you meet Jared.”

xxx

No one would get a chance to meet Jared until late February. People came into the shop to fix it starting a week after Jensen’s conversation with Genevieve in the park. First it was just a few people coming in to do the necessary replacements. After that more people came in to paint, renovate, and spruce up the place to near perfection. Then it was a construction team coming in to build a greenhouse behind the building. It was only three months after Jared had bought the place and it was completely ready to be moved in to.

A few days before March 1st, coincidentally Jensen’s birthday, Genevieve came running into Sigil while he was tattooing a client’s arm.

“Jensen!” she exclaimed loudly. The boy, no older than eighteen, that Jensen was tattooing whipped his head toward her, but Jensen kept working, his eyes concentrated on the skin below the needle.

“I need you to hold still, Gabe,” he demanded. “Not now, Genevieve, I’m working.”

“I know, I know. But Jared is coming into town Friday to check out his shop and I was wondering if you would go out to dinner with us that night? Misha and Mike already agreed and Tom’s checking his schedule.” Her voice took on that pleading quality. “Please, Jensen. I want Jared to meet everyone.” Jensen huffed out a sigh.

“Yeah, that’s fine. Now leave.”

“You’re so grumpy when you’re working. But thank you, love you!” she called as she ran back out the door.

xxx

Friday rolled around and Jensen was swamped at work. Steve, a friend and employee at Sigil, called in sick so Jensen had to take on his appointments as well as his own. Alona, the secretary, was a sweet girl, but she wasn’t able to do much more than take calls and schedule clients. He texted Genevieve to tell her he was going to be late and she replied with a sad-face emoji. Fortunately, however, his last client cancelled and he wasn’t going to be as late as he originally expected.

Locking up the shop and shrugging his black winter coat on, Jensen made his way to Brennan’s Pizza. Brennan’s was a great local pizza place that sold pizza by the slice. Everyone loved it, especially their group. They went there at least once a week.

Jensen opened the front door to Brennan’s and was immediately hit with warmth that stung his cold skin and the smell of freshly baked pizzas. He spotted Mike at the counter to order and slapped him on the back.

“Hey, man,” Jensen greeted as his eyes scanned the pizzas behind the glass.

“Jensen! I thought you were going to be late,” Mike trailed as he paid for his food.

“I am late,” Jensen said, confused. Mike laughed.

“Ten minutes doesn’t actually count as being late.” He waited for Jensen to get his own food before they went to their table together, which was all the way in the back so when they got drunk and loud they weren’t noticed quite as much. Jensen could hear the laughter grow the closer they got and soon the table came into view. Tom and Misha were facing the front, their eyes screwed shut in laughter. Genevieve’s back was to them, along with her friend’s – Jared, if Jensen remembered correctly – and she had a hand on his arm. She turned to say something to Jared when she caught Mike and Jensen approaching out of the corner of her eye.

“The gang’s all here!” she exclaimed.

“I thought you were going to be late, Jensen?”

“That’s what I said!”

“Shut up, Mike. I am late!”

“Ten minutes doesn’t actually count as being late,” Tom countered.

“I said that, too!”

“Shut up, Mike!” Everyone laughed for a minute, enjoying Mike and Tom ganging up on Jensen, when Genevieve stood up, pulling Jared with her.

“Now that everyone is here I can introduce you all. Everyone, this is Jared. Jared, these are my friends Misha, Tom, Mike, and Jensen.”

Jared was…not what anyone was expecting. He most definitely didn’t look like a flower shop owner as Jensen thought he would. Standing over everyone at 6’4”, Jared had broad shoulders, a narrow waist, ridiculously long legs, and hands made for football. Long, brown hair fell in front of hazel eyes, but nothing compared to his smile. His smile was big, just like the rest of him, and brighter than the sun itself. Straight, white teeth flashed brilliantly, complimented by dimples on either side which only increased his charm. A pair of nicely fitted jeans hung on his narrow hips and traveled down his long legs to a simple pair of nice brown winter boots. A navy blue blazer fitted over his chest along with a bright blue striped scarf which hid away all the tanned skin below. No, Jared was not what anyone was expecting and Jensen didn’t like him one bit.

Actually that was a lie. Jensen liked what he saw and he liked it a lot. Jared was everything from his wet dreams, minus a tattoo or twenty. He could only pray Jared was a douchebag or a total tool because he was already halfway gone.

"It’s great to meet y’all. Genevieve’s told me a lot,” Jared said, thrusting a hand out.

“Hopefully not too much about Misha. We don’t want to scare you off or anything.” When Jared got to Jensen, Genevieve spoke up.

“Jensen owns the place next to you, Jared. Remember the tattoo parlor I was telling you about?”

“Oh yeah!” Jared exclaimed. He winked at Jensen as he shook his hand and spoke in a thick country accent. “Howdy, neighbor! Genevieve tells me you’re a fellow Texas boy.” Jensen wanted to slam his head into a wall. The guy was a dork, but, God, it was endearing.

“Born and raised. Where’re you from?”

“San Antonio, but I’m a little partial to Austin. How ‘bout you?”

“Small town right outside of Dallas called Richardson.”

“Ahh, Dallas…” Jared began.

“Home of the Cowboys!” they both finished together. Jared laughed, his laugh loud and strong.

“Yes! A fellow Cowboys fan! Dude, we can totally watch the games together. It won’t be a long walk to each other’s place, ya’ know?”

“You two can plan your neighbor-adventures later!” Genevieve said, but her smile was blinding. “Let’s get some beer!” All the guys cheered in agreement and sat down to eat. As Jensen took the available seat next to Genevieve he couldn’t shake the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He could tell just by the first interaction that this had the potential to go very, very bad for him.

xxx

Jensen had never had many relationships and the few that he had had never ended well. His first boyfriend was a guy named Nick during his freshman year of college. He had just accepted he was gay and Nick had tried to take everything way too fast. Nick wanted Jensen to meet his parents and had started talking about getting an apartment together the following year, all about a month into their relationship. When Jensen tried to explain that Nick was rushing things, Nick blew up. He accused Jensen of using him to satisfy the “phase” he was in. Told Jensen that Jensen wasn’t really gay, he was just experimenting. Needless to say they broke up after that.

Luke wasn’t much better. Younger and immature, Luke just wasn’t ready for a relationship. He told Jensen he wanted to keep their relationship quiet because he hadn’t come out yet. Jensen should have said no right away, but Luke was cute and they got along pretty well. It wasn’t until one of Luke’s friends, one that was unaware of their relationship, friend-wise or romantically, called Jensen a fag as he walked past and Luke said nothing that Jensen knew they were over. Luke had laughed as he shot Jensen an apologetic look. Jensen didn’t return any of his calls after that and Luke didn’t care enough to seek him out.

Jensen’s longest and most serious relationship was with a guy named Drew. Drew had been everything Jensen thought he wanted. He was a grad student, just two years older, and was studying physical therapy, just like Jensen. He was taller than Jensen only by an inch or so and was incredibly lean, courtesy of all the hard work he did to stay fit and to be a physical therapist. His blonde hair was always kept professional looking; no spikes, cropped, and tamed with gel. His brown eyes were warm and made Jensen feel wanted. Drew would take him out on dates – real dates – to the movie theater and to dinner, holding his hand and staring at him when they were out at dinner. He wasn’t ashamed of their relationship and he wanted to take it slowly and seriously, things Jensen never had the pleasure of enjoying. They dated for two years.

Jensen knew it was dumb, but after a year or so of an almost perfect relationship, he thought Drew was the one, the only one, out there for him. He loved him. Of course, everyone knows that once things start to feel perfect, everything has to go straight to hell. It’s just how the world works.

Jensen was in his final year of his apprenticeship with Chris. He had graduated college the previous year, but he was more excited to finally be a licensed tattoo artist than he ever was about graduating with a Bachelor’s in physical therapy. He let himself into Drew’s apartment as he usually did, calling out to the man. Drew was in his living room lounging on the couch. He was still in his work wear and had a textbook to the right of him on the couch and a notebook in his lap.

“Hey,” Jensen had said as he slipped his shoes off. Drew looked up and smiled. He sat his notebook down and patted the space next to him.

“Hey. How was your day?” Drew had asked. Jensen walked over and flopped down, his head falling on Drew’s shoulder.

“It was as it usually was. Working with Chris is great, except when he gets all pissy which is about, oh, seventy percent of the time. How about you?” There was no response except for a frustrated sigh. Jensen turned his head to look up at Drew. “What’s wrong?”

“Jensen,” he let out a breath, “when are you going to get serious about physical therapy? I know you’re having fun and all with the tattooing or whatever, but you’ve got to get serious about grad school.” Jensen pulled back, his eyebrows drawn together.

“I’ve told you that I’ve decided to be a tattoo artist. We’ve talked about this.”

“I thought it was a phase that you would come out of sooner or later. Jensen, tattooing is a hobby. Chris isn’t exactly a role model either. I know he’s your friend and all, I do, but come on! You can get a real career. He can’t.” Jensen stared unblinkingly at Drew’s expectant face. Just before he could say anything, Drew continued. “And it’s not like you’re getting anymore tattoos. The two small ones that you have are plenty. Anymore and no company will hire you.”

The rest of that day had been a blur for Jensen. When he tried to explain that he was making a career out of tattoos, Drew got angry. When he started yelling that Drew had no right to insult his friend like that, Drew yelled back even worse. When he screamed, out of anger and hurt and confusion, Drew threw him out saying that he could never be with someone who was going to make a fool of themselves and waste all their potential. When he stared at the door of Drew’s apartment for the last time, Drew didn’t open it again.

Two years of a “perfect” relationship were destroyed in one conversation. Jensen hadn’t dated anyone since. In a town of 5,000 people, and most of them retirees, there weren’t a lot of gay guys to choose from. And, to be frank, he was scared. Drew had seemed perfect and everything with him had seemed perfect. With his luck and the usual guys he attracted, he could almost be guaranteed heartbreak in the end. Distance was always the best answer for Jensen when he felt attraction. It was the only way to guarantee that he would be okay.

xxx

They were all fairly buzzed by the end of the night. It turns out Jared was an affectionate drunk. Although he hardly knew any of them, with the exception of Genevieve, he was falling all over them, laughing without abandon. As a group they attempted to walk down the street toward Jared’s shop to show him the improved building. Jared leaned against Jensen as they turned a corner and Jensen gritted his teeth. Jared was completely made of hard muscle and he smelled like cinnamon and a hint of the strong hops from the beer. The six of them finally reached Jared’s shop and Tom got out the keys in his pocket.

“For you,” Tom said with a flourish as he handed Jared a single silver key. Jared unlocked the front door of the shop and the little jingle of the bell chimed, making him grin that dimpled grin. He fumbled for the light switch and soon the place was illuminated in bright light. Display cases made of glass covered the walls and empty crafted vases and baskets sat atop them. There were some smaller displays all across the room which was painted a subtle light blue color. Jared carefully walked around the room, his hands lightly grazing the surface of the glass.

“C’mon,” Genevieve said as she tugged on Jared’s sleeve, “let’s go look at the greenhouse.” Part of Jared’s request to his renovating team had been for them to build a greenhouse just behind the back of the shop. They walked out the back door toward the medium sized metal and glass building. The metal was just a basic white frame skeleton while the walls and ceiling were all made of glass. A foundation made of the same bricks that covered Nelsonville’s buildings and streets went around the entire bottom area of the building. Inside was humid. Sprouts of green were everywhere in the building, showing the plant life that was slowly, but surely, growing.

“What do you think?” Jared turned around, his smile almost breaking his face.

“It’s amazing!” He went around the entire building with wide eyes before he turned to the group. “Let’s go upstairs!”

In these storefront areas of Nelsonville, the shops had apartments above them for the owners to live in. Jensen’s apartment was his favorite place to be and going to work was as easy as walking down the stairs.

Jared took two steps at a time, the others close at his heels. Immediately they were greeted to a living room area, equipped with a couch and a recliner. The wood floors were spotless and a giant wine colored rug lay between the couch and the television set with a coffee table sitting on top of it. A small kitchen was behind the living room. It had just enough room to have an oven, stove, a few drawers and cabinets, and very little counter space. To the left was the bedroom that they could slightly see in the dim lighting. And that was it. It was small, but plenty for Jared. The walls were all kept a simple off-white color and all of the furniture and appliances seemed to be new, or at the very least refurnished.

“I can help you decorate and stuff when you officially get your ass here,” Genevieve smirked as she watched Jared take it all in.

“God, this is great,” he muttered, more to himself than anyone. He seemed to have sobered up seeing everything and he turned to face them. “That’d be great, Genevieve. Tom, I can’t thank you enough for hooking me up with this place.” It was all said with sincerity and they all couldn’t help but smile at the tall man who was making his way into their group in just a few hours.

“I wouldn’t be thanking anyone yet. Just wait until you move in and you realize that you’re stuck with the weirdest people in town,” Mike joked.

“Yeah, just wait until Misha picks your lock when you’re sleeping and you wake up to find him watching you from your desk chair,” Jensen joined.

“I had to tell you something important,” Misha started with a resigned sigh. “We’ve been through this.”

“You told me that everyone has a unique tongue print, just like fingerprints. No person’s is like any other,” Jensen said in a voice, trying to mimic Misha, and he rolled his eyes.

“Anyway,” Genevieve began, pointedly ignoring the boys, “you really like it?” She was practically bouncing up and down on her toes.

“I love it. I really do. I love all of it.”

xxx

Jared had left Nelsonville late the next day so he could go back home and finish a few final things before he moved in. The group had gotten together for lunch at the small café Genevieve and Misha worked at a few days after he left and were talking about the newest addition to their group.

“I like him,” Misha said as he wiped off the beige-colored countertop. “His only downfall is that he’s friends with Genevieve.” Genevieve threw a glare at Misha’s head.

“Yeah, he’s pretty cool. I could do with him shrinking a few inches though,” Tom said. All of the guys made noises of agreement.

“What do you think, Jensen? Are you going to like your new neighbor?” Jensen shrugged, not wanting to comment.

“We’ll see once he moves in,” he answered simply and that was all he was going to say.

xxx

Jared moved in exactly one week and four days later. Jensen heard the brakes of a truck sound outside at about six o’clock in the morning, followed by the loud crash of the metal ramp being let down from the back of the truck. There were a few minutes of silence before Jensen could hear the loud footsteps going up the stairs, opening doors, dropping boxes, and plenty of other loud sounds. Jensen grabbed his pillow to hold over his face, but it did no good. With a groan he threw his legs over the side of the bed and maneuvered his way to the kitchen. If he wasn’t going to be able to sleep anymore he might as well make breakfast.

While his coffee was brewing he shuffled over to the front window. He peeked through the curtain and saw Genevieve, Misha, and Mike all lifting boxes and passing them to one another, making a system like a conveyor belt. Jensen felt guilt claw at his chest, thinking of all the unanswered texts from Genevieve, asking him if he wanted to help. Just as he was about to resign to his fate of helping out his friends he spotted Jared coming out of the shop. He was in a pair of worn jeans, tennis shoes, and a simple gray t-shirt. The t-shirt, however, was tight on his broad shoulders and as he leaned down to pick up a box from the ground his arms almost ripped through the thin fabric. Jensen bit the inside of his cheek. Nope, he was not helping. Not wanting to see anything more, Jensen stepped away from the window and went back to his kitchen.

Hours passed and soon Jensen found himself downstairs in his parlor getting things ready for the work day ahead. Steve and Alona would be in soon and Jensen liked having most of the equipment set up in his own station so he could help them with anything once they arrived. He was leaning down to pick up a new bottle of rubbing alcohol from underneath a cabinet when he heard the shop door open. It was too early to be Steve or Alona.

“We’re closed,” he called out over his shoulder. “We open up in about an hour if you want to come back later.”

“Uhh, sorry,” he heard a voice say and he turned around to find Jared standing in the threshold of his parlor. He had obviously just gotten out of the shower a few minutes earlier. His hair was still damp and he had on a newer pair of jeans and a simple black jacket over a white t-shirt. Jensen swallowed and quickly cleared his throat.

“Do you need help with anything?” he asked. Jared ran a hand through his hair and shifted slightly on his feet. He looked tired.

“No, just wanted to stop in to say hey to my new neighbor.” He looked up through loose strands of hair that fell in front of his face and he was wearing a smile (God, did he ever stop smiling?). After letting out a breath Jensen turned his back to Jared once more to start rummaging through the supplies once more.

“Listen, I’d love to chat, but I’m kind of busy right now,” came his clipped reply. He lifted up a small box to sit on the counter and his eyes briefly fell on Jared again. The man’s eyes widened slightly and his mouth opened, but nothing came out. Then his eyes flicked down to the ground and he rubbed at the back of his neck.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt. I’ll stop by another time.” Jensen heard the door open and close once more and he let out the breath he had been holding.

‘Well, that was cold,’ he thought and the same guilt that had constricted his chest earlier that morning came back full-force. ‘No, it’s for the best. Save yourself the heartache now, Jensen, and you’ll thank yourself in the end.’

He got back to work and the next time he heard the door open it was only Charlie.


	3. Chapter 2

_Some Color_

Chapter 2

_“A friend can tell you things you don’t want to tell yourself.” – Frances Ward Weller_

There were two things one needed to know if they were going to meet Danneel Harris: that she was the most loyal of friends and that she could always see through someone’s bullshit.

Danneel was Jensen’s best friend and ex-girlfriend. Danneel had been captain of the junior varsity cheerleading squad and Jensen had been on the school’s lacrosse team back when they first met. It had been their freshman year of high school and their practice areas were right across from one another. One day, early in the training season, Jensen had missed a pass from his teammate and it landed right by one of the cheerleader’s water bottles. He had jogged over to get it when a white tennis shoe came down on the ball, not letting him pick it up.

“So a lacrosse player wanders into cheerleading territory,” had come the high voice. The owner of said voice was a tiny little red head with a smirk on her face. She had both hands on her slim hips and regarded him as he stood up all the way. Jensen had always been fairly tall for his age and he towered over her at full height.

“Just trying to get our ball back,” he had said in a voice higher than expected of him.

“Hmmm,” the girl had started, putting a finger to her chin in mock thought, “I think you’ll need to do something for me first.” Jensen had lifted an eyebrow at that.

“And what would that be?”

“Go to the next home football game with me,” she had said, the words out of her mouth smooth as silk.

“What?” Jensen had practically choked. Sure, a few girls had asked him out back in middle school, but none had been this forward.

“Go to the next home football game with me,” she had repeated, this time complimented by a roll of her brown eyes.

“Why?”

“Because you’re cute. And because I’m cute. And because football games are always fun.”

And that had been the beginning of their friendship. Two years later they tried dating. Whether it was because they wanted to or because everyone thought they should, Jensen never really knew. Together they were perfect. In the two years of their friendship they had become inseparable. In their junior year Danneel had moved up to the head cheerleader of the varsity team and Jensen had lead the lacrosse team to their first state title. Jensen had grown another few inches, filled out in his shoulders, his voice had dropped several octaves, and he had every girl at the school practically drooling at his feet while Danneel had filled out some curves in all the best places, her red hair burning as bright as the feisty personality she held. They were the definition of a high-school-perfect couple; the future prom king and queen.

But Danneel knew something no one else knew about Jensen. Something Jensen didn’t even know about himself. Danneel knew that Jensen wasn’t attracted to her or to any other girl in the school and, as she could only assume, he was gay. It had to be that or he was simply the world’s greatest actor. She had figured it out during their sophomore year. It had started off innocently enough. She had noticed that Jensen never checked girls out. Never. He would stop by cheerleading practice often and never did his eyes stray. So she tested out a few more things over the next year. Once she had asked him who his celebrity crush was.

“My celebrity crush?” he had asked incredulously as he laid upside down on her couch.

“Yeah! Which Hollywood celebrity makes you get all hot-and-bothered?” All he had done was flush a bright red, his hand running through his short hair.

“No one really comes to mind honestly.” It wouldn’t be until later that she would learn that his celebrity crush was Adam Brody at the time. He would also later blame it all on Danneel’s obsession with The O.C. Now it was Jack Falahee from How to Get Away with Murder and he was not shy about it.

Another time she had asked him who his first kiss had been.

“You can tell me!” she had promised. Jensen had a bright red flush all over his face and he had repeatedly stated that it was no one she knew. He had said that it was an old childhood friend. It wouldn’t be until later that she would learn that his first kiss was a childhood friend, a friend named Zach and it happened when they were thirteen.

Danneel had made it a priority to protect Jensen. She hadn’t really known why she felt so protective of him, but she did. So she asked him out when they were juniors and that was that. No one questioned their relationship as everyone expected it. What they didn’t know is that nothing happened beyond simple pecks on the mouth. Later when Danneel explained everything to Jensen, when they were well into college, Jensen asked her why she gave up dating people who actually wanted a relationship with her, all she could say was: “It was you. I had to.”

When Jensen came out to her their senior year he looked terrified. She had never seen him look like that and she was so scared when he walked in her house. His eyes had been downcast, his hands stuffed in his pockets, his jaw ticking, and his mouth was pressed in a thin line. Danneel had jumped off her couch, automatically running to him, her hands gently grabbing at his arms.

“Jensen. Jensen, what’s wrong?”

“Dani, can I talk to you?” he had asked, his voice quiet.

“You know you always can.” She had led him over to the couch and they talked about everything. He sat there and told her about how he felt, about how he had always felt, about how he was scared, and about how he had never had feelings beyond friendship for her and how sorry he was. He had looked so heartbroken, something she had never seen in him. But all she did was smile, pull him into a hug, and tell him that she already knew.

They became friends during their freshman year of high school, but they became unconditional best friends during their senior year. They put all of their trust in one another and they became even more inseparable than before. When they went off to different colleges, Danneel heading over to Louisiana and Jensen staying in Texas, Danneel forcibly made Jensen promise that they would never lose contact with one another. And he kept that promise. Once every six months at the minimum, Jensen would fly down to Louisiana and later, when she moved back to Texas, Dallas where Danneel was working, and/or Danneel would fly up to Indiana to see Jensen in Nelsonville. They saw each other at least three times a year, as Jensen always came down to Texas for Christmas, and they talked at least once a week.

Jensen was in Texas just last September and again in December, so now that it was April it was time for Danneel to come up to Indiana - which is where she was heading right now.

xxx

Danneel jumped out of her cab, which had pulled up right outside of Sigil, and yelled to the shop as she grabbed her bags out of the trunk.

“Jensen!” She saw the blinds upstairs open briefly and just a few seconds later the front door was open and Jensen was walking out to her, a smile on his face. She left her bags on the curb and quickly paid the cab driver, before she jumped into Jensen’s arms, her own wrapping around his neck. He swung her around for just a second before he sat her down and pulled her into a hug.

“How are you?” he asked into her hair.

“I’m good, I’m good,” she answered, her voice muffled by his chest. He let her go and smiled down at her.

“How was your trip?” He picked up her bags, except for her carryon, and began walking toward the door.

“Ugh,” she groaned, “the guy next to me was pervy and there was a kid three rows back screaming the entire time. But other than that it was fine.” Jensen walked up the stairs, Danneel on his heels, and sat her bags down. As soon as the bags were down she pulled him back into a hug. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Danni.”

“No you didn’t. If you really missed me you wouldn’t have been acting so weird this last month. What is with you?”

“What do you mean? Nothing’s wrong,” he said quickly.

“Bull. You got all weird and quiet when I called you for your birthday and you’ve been weird since. What’s up?” Jensen just shrugged.

“Nothing.”

“Mmhmm. Well, I’m here for an entire week so that gives me plenty of time to wrangle it out of you. Just wait.”

Jensen quickly changed the subject and soon they were lounging on his couch, just facing each other, Danneel’s feet tucked up underneath her, and talking about what little they hadn’t already updated each other on. After a little while Danneel let out a yawn and stretched her arms above her head.

“When are we meeting up with the others?”

“I don’t know. Obviously everyone wants to see you. Want me to text them and see if they’re up for dinner tonight? Or do you want to wait until tomorrow and rest for now?” Jensen asked as checked his phone.

“Let’s wait until tomorrow. I’m exhausted. How about we order some pizza, grab a couple of cold ones, and watch really shitty reruns on T.V. until we pass out?” Jensen let out a groan and threw his head back.

“That sounds amazing. God, why did I ever break up with you?”

“Because you realized you’re way more into dick. No straight man would ever break up with me willingly,” Danneel smirked as she stood up and ran over to Jensen’s laptop to find the phone number for delivery.

“Always the modest one, Danni,” Jensen laughed.

“Always,” she agreed.

xxx

The next morning Jensen got up, made a pot of coffee, and texted Genevieve, Tom, Misha, and Mike about getting together for dinner at Brennan’s again. The guys were quick to respond with ‘yes’ and ‘of course’ and ‘duh you idiot I’m always up for pizza and beer’ while Genevieve took a minute or two to respond. When she did her text read: ‘Can Jared come too?’ Jensen sighed around the rim of his coffee mug. The last thing he wanted was for Danneel to meet Jared and see through Jensen’s act (something she seemed to be able to do constantly) and never let him live it down. Sadly there was no way to say no either…well, not without sounding like an asshole. So he texted back a quick ‘sure’ and prayed to the heavens that Danneel would be too distracted with seeing everyone that Jensen’s problems would hardly register on her radar.

As soon as he sent the last text to Genevieve he heard a soft yawn emit from the couch and saw Danneel’s head, red hair wild on top, poke up from where it was laying.

“Good morning, sunshine,” he laughed as she turned to him, one eye squinted shut.

“Is that coffee?” she asked, ignoring his greeting. He held out a cup of coffee, two teaspoons of sugar and a dash of creamer, towards her in answer and she blearily made her way to him. She gripped the cup between her hands and leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek. “Thank you.” Jensen just smiled. Opening his laptop he went through his emails quickly before he turned to Danneel who seemed to have woken up in the few minutes between him handing her the coffee and him checking his emails.

“I texted the group and they’re up for dinner tonight at Brennan’s,” he said.

“God, if there is one thing I miss whenever I leave this town, besides you of course, it’s Brennan’s. How can pizza be that good?” Jensen chuckled and refilled his coffee mug.

“Genevieve’s bringing her friend so I hope that’s okay,” he trailed.

“Oooh, the mysterious Jared who lives next door and who Genevieve tried to hide from you guys. Now I’m very interested,” she smiled. Then she glared at him. “Of course that’s fine with me. I’m fine when it comes to meeting new people. You’re the one who gets all weird and judges them for, like, four months before deciding if they’re okay to be friends with or not.”

“Whatever,” he mumbled. “What do you want to do for the rest of the day?” Danneel sipped at her coffee for a minute before she looked up, lips pursed.

“I don’t know. There’s not much to do in a town like this. Maybe we can go to Bobbie’s? Or we could go see Genevieve and Misha?” Danneel had really bonded with both Genevieve and Misha when she first came to visit Jensen in Nelsonville. Actually, beyond Jensen himself, Genevieve and Misha were probably Danneel’s best friends.

“Yeah, we could do that. We need to grab lunch anyway and I’m low on food as it is,” Jensen agreed. Danneel scoffed.

“Honestly, how are you still alive? You forget all the basic things like, oh, I don’t know, food.” Jensen jokingly cuffed her in the arm and she, not jokingly, hit him back.

“Get ready and we’ll go, you horrible person.”

xxx

They arrived at Holly’s Café, the small bakery that Genevieve and Misha worked at, around 11:30 which was rush hour for lunch in Nelsonville. Of course, rush hour in Nelsonville simply meant that there were more than ten people in one place. They walked in, setting off the jingle of the bell hanging above the threshold, and also gaining the attention of Genevieve who was running the register. When she saw Danneel her eyes lit up and she ran around the counter, straight into Danneel’s arms.

“Danni!” Genevieve exclaimed. Danneel laughed and wrapped her arms around Genevieve. They did what all girls do when they see each other and jumped up and down with their hands on each other’s shoulders. Jensen rolled his eyes, but smiled fondly at the two. Misha came out from the kitchen and crossed his arms, waiting for the girls’ reunion to calm down.

“Yeah, that’s okay, I’ll just stand here,” he announced a bit loudly, garnering Genevieve and Danneel’s attention. Both mock-glared at him before Danneel’s face broke back into a smile and she ran over to hug him. After those three had calmed down and Genevieve and Misha got back to their working positions, Jensen and Danneel ordered lunch. They sat in the booth across from one another and continued to talk about nothing and everything until Genevieve and Misha joined them during their break.

“I missed you so much, Danni,” Genevieve started. “When you’re not here I’m stuck dealing with one hundred percent testosterone. I can only handle so much.” Danneel laughed.

“Yeah, I realized that. This town needs more women. But instead you guys keep bringing boys in. How’s your friend Jared adjusting?” Danneel asked, genuinely curious about Nelsonville’s newcomer. She had asked Jensen about him some, but Jensen was vague and clipped. Danneel didn’t know why exactly, but Jensen didn’t like the guy, which was odd because, despite Jensen’s outward ‘I hate everyone’ attitude, he was usually an easy-to-get-along-with kind of guy.

“Jared’s doing good, really good! He loves the town, loves the atmosphere, and loves the people. He’s from San Antonio so I knew it would be a big change, but he’s really loving it and adjusting great.” There was a moment of silence before Genevieve began talking again, her tone both accusatory and a little hurt. “He would be doing even better if his neighbor wasn’t such an ass, though.” She turned her stare to Jensen. Genevieve had tried to bring up Jensen’s treatment of Jared once or twice, but every time she did he managed to either change the subject or get out of there as fast as he could.

“I don’t understand,” Misha mumbled around a mouthful of food. “Jared’s a cool guy.”

“He is a cool guy and I would really like two of my best friends to get along,” Genevieve agreed. Jensen tried to calm down his panicking pulse. He couldn’t exactly explain that he was terrified of developing feelings for the guy so he pushed him away the first chance he got. Instead he tried to play it cool. He rolled his eyes, something he did so often Danneel joked that they were going to roll all the way back in his head, and spoke in the best disinterested voice he could muster.

“I don’t dislike the guy. I just don’t know him. Give me a few more days, weeks, months, years, or whatever and I’m sure I can be civil with him.”

“Well I’m excited to meet him,” Danneel said. “And I’m really excited for Brennan’s. I’m insanely jealous you guys can have it whenever you want.”

“You could too if you would stop being stupid and just move here already,” Misha explained as he stole a French fry from Jensen’s plate.

“Well I would if you all had any jobs here that actually fit my credentials.”

“Who needs a job when you could be seeing my face every single day?” Misha asked as though the answer was the most obvious thing in the world. “Sort out your priorities, Danni.”

All too soon Genevieve and Misha’s lunch break was over and they got back to work a bit reluctantly.

“I’ll see you tonight!” Genevieve smiled as she cleared their plates and cups from the table. “Seven o’clock, right?”

“Umm, actually Mike needs us to push it back to eight. That okay?”

“Yep. I might get there a little early so we can get our table.” They bid the two farewell before they made their way back outside.

“What now?” Jensen asked as Danneel slipped on her sunglasses.

“You got me. What do you small-town folk do for fun?” she joked.

“We could do what all the teenagers do and skip rocks down by the river. Or smoke pot in the woods by the river. Or have sex in a car in the abandoned lot right outside of town. Or buy some spray paint and join the graffiti wall. Or cry about how we live in a small town and there’s nothing to do.”

“Hmmm, so many options” Danneel started, acting as though she was actually considering any of those ideas. “I would say sex in the car, but it’s still daylight out and I don’t want us to be too obvious or anything. Same thing with the pot.”

“We could hike. Or we could drive up to the mall,” Jensen suggested seriously this time, referring to the closest mall to them which was about forty minutes north. “I need some new clothes and you know I’m useless.”

“Oh, whatever! You’re more fashionable than I am,” she groaned as she motioned to his outfit. He was wearing a great pair of dark jeans, ones that clung to his thighs and complemented his ass, a white Henley, a brown jacket that was tapered to fit just right, a pair of dark brown boots, and all of that was complimented by rings on his fingers, multiple bracelets circling his wrists, a necklace, and designer sunglasses held by the earpiece to his shirt.

“Okay, okay…let’s go anyway!”

xxx

They got back from the mall and Danneel was exhausted.

“You know,” Danneel sighed as she flopped down on the couch in Jensen’s living room. “Overall you’re the least stereotypical gay guy. But when it comes to shopping you can, and do, put most women to shame.”

“Hey, I like to look good. There’s no shame in that,” Jensen called as he dumped all of his bags in his bedroom.

“Whatever you say, sweetheart.”

xxx

Eight o’clock came around soon enough and Danneel and Jensen were on their way to Brennan’s. The place was already packed as it was popular enough to garner attention from the college students that lived in between campus and Nelsonville itself. They walked in and immediately went to the counter to order.

“They here?” Danneel asked as she skimmed over the pizzas behind the display. Jensen checked his phone quickly. There was an array of messages from the whole group on the screen.

“Tom isn’t, but everyone else is.” They grabbed their food, paid, and went back to the usual table. The laughter was already loud, most coming from their table, and they came upon Genevieve, Misha, Jared, and Mike all throwing their heads back at whatever Misha had just said. Mike, as usual, was the first one to see Jensen and, as usual, made an announcement that could be heard from the university a good twenty miles away.

“Jensen! And Danni!” Everyone turned, bright smiles on their faces. Genevieve jumped up again, running over to hug Danneel.

“Do girls have to hug every single time they see each other? Even if it’s multiple times a day?” Misha asked across the table. Danneel stuck her tongue out at him and he stuck his out at her in retaliation. As soon as Genevieve pulled away she grabbed Jared by the arm and dragged him in front of Danneel.

“This is my friend –“

“Best friend,” Jared interjected quickly, laughing when Genevieve pinched him.

“This is my best friend, Jared!”

“It’s great to meet you, I’ve heard a lot,” he said, a dimpled grin etched on his face. “All good, I promise.” He put his hand out for her to shake and she immediately glared, though anyone who knew her could tell she was charmed by the tall man in front of her.

“Oh, hon, I don’t do handshakes,” she announced with her hands on her hips. Without warning she pulled him down into a hug. Instead of pulling back or freezing, Jared just laughed and wrapped his arms around her.

“Jared’s a hugger,” Genevieve commented.

“We’re all huggers. Well, except Jensen,” Mike yelled over the noise with a mouthful of pizza.

“He hugs Genevieve and I,” Danneel said as she pulled back from Jared.

“Jensen, are you playing the gay-card just so you can get all the women?” Misha asked without thinking. Jensen felt his face flush all the way to the tips of his ears and he bit the inside of his cheek to keep from speaking. No one had really thought to tell Jared. It just hadn’t been brought up actually. It’s not like Jensen had any current boyfriends or even any recent hookups to talk about. Immediately Misha tensed, sensing that he had said something he wasn’t supposed to. Everyone looked at Jared from the corner of their eyes, but he made no reaction.

“Yep, that was the plan all along,” Jensen agreed sarcastically, hoping that it would sound more casual than anything. “How’s it working, girls?”

“You got me, handsome,” Genevieve smiled.

“You already tried with me and it didn’t exactly work out,” Danneel pointed out as she grabbed a seat.

“You two dated?” Jared asked.

“We sort of had to,” Danneel laughed. “We met in high school and were the destined future prom king and queen. We were also, coincidentally, best friends, so everyone assumed it was fate. Of course Jensen had to decide senior year to come out, ruining our beautiful relationship.” Jensen glared.

“You’re the one who claimed that you knew since we were sophomores and dated me anyway. You set us up for failure.”

“I thought my good looks and amazing personality could change you.” While they were bickering Mike ran up to the counter and bought a pitcher of beer.

“Let’s all get wasted so by the time Tom gets here he has to babysit us,” Mike said as he fumbled to put the pitcher on the table.

“You just want him to take you home and spank you for being bad,” Misha said as he poured himself a cup.

“I’m not sure if I know you guys enough to have to deal with those mental images,” Jared groaned, a hand covering his eyes.

“I hate to break it to you, but since you’ve known Genevieve for years, you don’t get a slow introduction to our group. We aren’t going to pretend to be normal for you. You get the full-on crazy right away,” Mike explained.

“Nice to know,” Jared laughed lightly, but his eyes lit up. Tom showed up a few minutes later, still dressed in his work clothes, and quickly grabbed seat after greeting Danneel.

“So, Jared,” Danneel began as the conversation turned mindless, “what’s your story?” Jared wiped at his mouth with a napkin before answering.

“What do you want to know?” Everyone was looking at him, except Misha who was looking at the empty pitcher of beer with disdain. Genevieve groaned and got up, grabbing the pitcher as she went.

“I’ll get more beer. I already know his life story anyway.”

“Like you don’t want to hear it all again, baby,” Jared smirked. “But really, what do you want to know?”

“I don’t know…”

“Embarrassing story from high school. Go.”

“An embarrassing story about me?”

“You have to have some sort of part in the story, but it doesn’t have to necessarily be about you. We’ll save those for when you’re drunk.”

“Wow, you don’t let a guy catch a break do you.” Jared bit his lip, thinking for a moment, and Jensen dropped his eyes and pretended his interest was more on the pizza on his plate than on Jared in front of him. “Okay, so my freshman year of high school we had this really weird vice principal. His name was Mr. Light and he had some sort of leg issue and walked with a limp down the hallways, always yelling at kids and literally shaking a finger at them. Anyway, it was maybe two months into the school year and he just stopped showing up to school. That’s when the rumors started. ‘What if he died?’ ‘I heard he got fired for snorting cocaine in his office.’ ‘Well I heard that he left because he and Mr. Charliens, our principal, got in a fight.’” Jared did fun voices for each new rumor and stopped to take a drink of his beer. “Turns out he actually got fired because he was banging the hot math teacher, Mrs. Roberts, and they got caught in her classroom.”

“So where do you fit in here?” Tom asked.

“I was in Mrs. Roberts’ class. She taught freshman geometry. This is how I found out they were doing it in her classroom; I walked in, we had a substitute until they could find an actual replacement, and went to grab a seat when this kid named Derek tried to stop me from sitting in my usual seat. It turns out Mr. Light and Mrs. Roberts got caught by the AV team and their teacher and I guess at one point they ended up on my desk. So I ended up stuck with what was dubbed “The Sex Desk” the rest of the year. It was pretty embarrassing for me and for Mrs. Roberts when she returned after school one day to pick up some of her things and there were a few of us having a mathlete meeting in there.”

“Oh god, that’s horrible,” Danneel laughed.

“Why didn’t you switch seats?” Mike asked.

“Assigned seating,” Jared shrugged.

“I don’t know what’s more embarrassing: that you got stuck with the sex desk or that you just admitted to being a mathlete,” Misha said. Everyone chuckled and Jared laughed good-naturedly.

“What about you guys? You’ve all known each other for a few years. If I’m giving up embarrassing stories, so are you.” He leaned back in his chair and put his arms behind his head and his shirt rode up, revealing a sliver of tanned skin above the waistband of his low-riding jeans. Jensen swallowed.

“Jensen has a great story to tell,” Genevieve said with a smirk.

“Oh, yeah?” Jared asked back and his hazel eyes immediately met Jensen’s. He then smiled brilliantly and Jensen felt heat pool in his stomach. This was not good. “Do tell.” Jensen cleared his throat and brought a hand to rub at the back of his neck, a nervous habit of his.

“I don’t really think I have any stories to tell, Genevieve.”

“That’s a lie,” Danneel joined in. “You have plenty of stories. How about the one about the time you and Genevieve got in trouble for public indecency?”

“No, not that one!” Genevieve shrieked.

“Now I have to know!” Jared demanded.

“Why don’t I remember this story?” Tom questioned.

“Because no one was ever supposed to know! How could you tell Danni?” Genevieve continued as she slapped Jensen’s hand.

“She’s my best friend, I had to tell her.” He sighed as he looked at all the expectant faces. “I have to do this, don’t I? First, I would like to apologize to Genevieve, but, frankly, you’ve never been shy so it’s nothing any of us haven’t heard before. Here’s the story: it’s two in the morning on a Sunday and I get woken up by my cellphone going crazy. I look at it and see I have about three missed calls and five text messages all from Genevieve. All the texts say something to the effect of, ‘Jensen, if you don’t come get me at the Anderson Apartments right now I will kill you slowly.’ So I drag myself out of bed, no questions asked, and drive over to the apartments. I text her, tell her I’m there, and out she comes from behind the bushes, wearing nothing but a pair of yoga pants and her hands over her breasts. I jump out, thinking something bad happened, but it turns out she went home with some guy, had a horrible time, and was trying to sneak out without him knowing which led her to leave her bra, shirt, and socks all there.”

“Why does no one call me when the interesting things are happening?” Misha asked rhetorically while everyone else laughed at Genevieve’s expense.

“So I get out and take my shirt off to give to her and rush her back to the car. We’re almost to her place when she makes me stop by Holly’s Café so she can run in and grab her wallet that she left there. Well when she starts running in the shirt gets caught in the door and, since it was a button-up, it rips off. It just happened to be right then that a sheriff drove past and there’s Genevieve, shirtless in the parking lot and me shirtless in the front seat. Needless to say we both got taken in for public indecency. I think it’s hilarious, but Genevieve still gets all pissed when I bring it up.” The group was now doubled over in laughter and Jared put a hand on his chest as though it would calm his heart.

“You are an embarrassment to me. How can a guy be so bad that you feel the need to leave the apartment without your bra or shirt?” Jared asked incredulously.

“He seemed fine until I got there and he started to get out these sex toys and they were all Star Wars themed. It was only downhill from there.”

“But you still hooked up with him,” Tom pointed out. Genevieve shrugged.

“Just because he was weird doesn’t mean he wasn’t hot.” Danneel leaned across the table and high fived her.

“I would never hookup with a weirdo, I don’t care how hot they were,” Mike said.

“That’s because, no matter the situation, you would be considered the weirdo,” Jensen said back. Mike flipped him off.

“Alight, we’ve heard a story about me and one about Genevieve. How about the rest of you? I know there have to be some weird ones about Misha.”

“You see,” Misha started, “I don’t get embarrassed though. I embarrass others, not myself.”

“It’s true. Misha is never ashamed or embarrassed. He’s not actually human,” Danneel agreed.

“Definitely an alien,” Genevieve continued.

“What about you Tom? Or Mike?”

“Tom is perfect and never does anything embarrassing. Mike is similar to Misha and has no shame,” Genevieve said. Mike nodded enthusiastically.

“Jensen?” Jensen’s eyes met with Jared’s and he breathed in deeply to calm himself.

“I don’t really have any stories…” he trailed.

“Bullshit. What about Homecoming our sophomore year? Or your second tattoo? Or Josh’s graduation? Or the time you thought your parents were getting a divorce? Or –“ Danneel went to continue when Jensen cut her off.

“Alright, alright. I’m a naturally embarrassing person. I’ve got a list of stories so which one do you want to hear?” Jared laughed.

“None, if you don’t want to tell me. I can wait.” The statement was simple and Jensen felt flushed from Jared’s eyes boring into his. For a moment he thought he saw something, something he couldn’t quite place his finger on, but as soon as he saw it, it vanished. “So where else do you Nelsonville people eat? Don’t get me wrong, the pizza here is great, but I can only eat the same thing so many times. Where can a guy get a steak around here?” The group began talking, all telling Jared where he could get a good meal, but Jensen was still caught up on the something he saw, or thought he saw, in Jared’s eyes. Just as he started analyzing it in greater detail he felt a piercing look staring at him and found Danneel watching him, a smirk on her face.

xxx

When they all decided it was finally time to head back to their respective houses, Misha, Mike, Tom, and Genevieve went right and Danneel, Jensen, and Jared went left.

“You would think that it would be warm out since it’s April,” Jared said as he stuffed his hands in his jacket.

“You’re not living in Texas anymore, sweetheart,” Danneel pointed out with a laugh. “You should have heard Jensen complain about the cold. It took him two years to even slightly adjust to the weather here.”

“Stop talking about me like I’m not here, Danni. And I didn’t complain.” Danneel snorted.

“Okay, whatever you say. The next time you call me complaining about the cold I’m sending you dozens of pictures of me on the boat that I can get on year round because Texas is actually warm. See how you like that.” She then motioned to the three of them as they continued walking. “I do have to say though, Texas has done good. Look at the three of us; we’re hot. I mean damn.” Jared outright laughed, reminding Jensen that not everyone was as used to Danneel’s joking lack of modesty.

“You should definitely move here, Danni. I need someone to inflate my ego,” Jared chuckled.

“You don’t need me. Just look down and watch how many people check you out. You just may be surprised,” Danneel said slyly, her eyes flicking over to Jensen for just a second.

“As great as this conversation is, I am ready to go to bed,” Jensen cut in. They were standing in front of the shops and both Jared and Jensen fished for their keys in their pockets.

“Definitely time to retire for the night,” Jared agreed. “It was great meeting you, Danni. I hope I see more of you before you leave.”

“Oh, you will. In a town like this, I’m the best entertainment you’ll get for a while,” said Danneel.

“I have no doubt. G’night, Danneel,” he bid before he looked at Jensen, the corners of his lips turning upward ever so slightly. “Jensen.” That was all he said before he turned and went into his shop. Danneel and Jensen followed his lead and went inside Jensen’s own place. Jensen sat his keys and wallet on the countertop. When he turned around Danneel was standing there with one hand on her hip and the other holding her body as she leant against the table and a horrible smirk played on her face.

“What?”

“I told you I would wrangle out of you what I had to so I could find out why you’ve been acting so weird, but I didn’t even need to that. One meeting with Jared proved to be plenty,” she said carefully. When Jensen didn’t respond she continued. “I mean, I can’t blame you. He’s incredibly hot, ridiculously charming, and only has eyes for you. If I were you, I would be gone on him too.” Jensen scoffed and threw his jacket on the back of a kitchen chair.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Okay. Continue to lie to yourself. Continue to try to lie to everyone else. But do not try to lie to me, Jensen. You know good and well that I can see right through you and I know the look in your eyes when you start feeling something for somebody.” Her voice then got serious and she cautiously stepped forward to put a hand on his shoulder. “And I know you’re scared. Ever since Drew you always seem so scared that you’re going to get hurt. But, hon, hiding like this, pushing people away like this…it’s not healthy.” Jensen pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Danneel, can we save on the lecture stuff until the alcohol is out of my system. That would be awesome,” he gritted out, blatantly ignoring everything she said to him. “And I have work tomorrow so I would really like to get a good night’s sleep.” Danneel huffed out a breath.

“Fine. But I’m not done with you. You just wait.”

xxx

The next day Jensen was up hours before Danneel even budged, getting the shop ready for the day. When she finally woke she wandered down the stairs, into the shop, and found him at his station checking supplies.

“Afternoon,” he greeted when he saw her approach.

“Afternoon,” she shot back, voice gruff with sleep. “Charlie and Alona getting here soon?”

“Yep. Today’s a pretty busy day so we won’t close until late. Think you can find a way to entertain yourself until then?”

“I’ll manage.” She went back upstairs to get ready for the day and soon came back down. There were a few people in the shop, some just setting up appointments and some getting ready for their sessions, and Danneel waved goodbye to Jensen. Her plan was to go to Holly’s Café and hangout with Genevieve and Misha for a while. However, when she got outside she immediately saw Jared watering some of the flowers displayed in the front of the shop.

“Hi, Jared,” she greeted warmly. He turned at the voice and smiled when he saw Danneel standing there.

“Hey, Danni. How’re you?”

“I’m good, just looking for something to do. Jensen actually has to work today so I need to entertain myself until he’s done.” She watched him nod and an idea occurred to her. “Are you super busy today? Like too busy for me to tag along for a while?” His smile was answer enough.

“Of course not. You can hang out with me all day if you want,” he invited.

“I just might take you up on that.”

xxx

Jensen waved as Charlie walked out of the shop. It had been a long day. One of his clients had his fifth session on the sleeve tattoo Jensen sketched out for him a few weeks ago and another girl, just a young thing from the college, got her first tattoo on her rib cage. Jensen had tried to tell her that a tattoo on the ribs would hurt, especially as a first tattoo, but she didn’t want to listen. Jensen had to admit though, he was pretty impressed. After her freak out in the first few minutes as the pain was fresh, she calmed down significantly and took it like a champ. She was ecstatic with it too. If there was one thing Jensen never got tired of, it was the look of pure happiness on people’s faces when they saw the finished product.

His stomach growled and he realized he hadn’t eaten since noon and it was now eight o’clock. He also realized that he hadn’t seen Danneel since around eleven. He reached for his phone and hit the call button next to Danneel’s number. As soon as he heard the other line pick up he started talking.

“Want me to meet you at Holly’s?”

“I’m not too hungry. I just had dinner an hour ago,” she answered and Jensen heard a muffled voice in the back. His eyebrows drew together in confusion.

“Okay…” he started slowly. “Well you don’t have to eat. I was just going to come meet you and Genevieve at Holly’s.”

“I’m not at Holly’s though. I’m over at Jared’s.” The words came out of her mouth as though she had been saying them her whole life.

“You’re what?” Jensen managed to choke out. He wasn’t sure if he heard her right; there’s no way he heard her right.

“Relax, I’ll be over in a second.” She hung up before he could get in another word and just a minute later she walked through the door. “How was work?” she asked the moment she walked past him to go up the stairs.

“Work was fine,” he began slowly, still processing what happened. “You were at Jared’s?”

“Yeah! He is honestly the best. Like, I knew last night just by meeting him that we would get along, but after today I know we’re going to be great friends. No wonder Genevieve loves him so much.”

“You were there? All day?” She turned to look at him, an eyebrow raised.

“What part of this conversation are you not getting?”

“I just…I don’t understand.”

“Well, I wanted to get to know the guy and he wasn’t awfully busy today so I hung out with him. Now are you going to actually tell me about work today or are you going to continue to stand there with that ridiculous, if albeit adorable, look of confusion on you face?”

xxx

The rest of the week continued in a similar fashion. Jensen was busy, something he regretted, but couldn’t really afford to change just because Danneel was visiting, and she entertained herself by hanging out with everyone in town. She stopped by to see Mike once or twice, grabbed lunch with Tom, harassed Misha in the kitchen, and, obviously, spent as much time with Genevieve as she could spare. But the person she was with the most was Jared. The two seemed to have hit it off right away and when Jensen found himself closing shop for the day he would see the two in the front of Jared’s shop talking. She never told him what they talked about and they never bothered to invite him.

He hated to admit it, but he could feel jealousy boiling the longer the week continued. What he wouldn’t admit, not even to himself, was that he didn’t know if he was jealous of Jared for getting to spend so much time with Danneel or if he was jealous of Danneel for spending so much time with Jared. Sure, he had made no effort to get to know the guy and, actually, had made it a point to not get to know the guy at all, but that didn’t mean that he wanted…he didn’t actually knew what he wanted. But he knew he didn’t want whatever was happening between Jared and Danneel to keep happening.

It was Danneel’s last night in town and she and Jensen were sitting on his couch, watching old movies, drinking beer, and enjoying their last few minutes together. They wouldn’t see each other again until around October. Everything was going fine until Danneel’s phone let out a shrill noise signifying that she had a text message. She picked up her phone and grinned before quickly typing back a message.

“Who was that?” Jensen asked, not really paying attention.

“Jared,” Danneel answered simply. Maybe it was because he was a little tipsy or maybe it was because he was genuinely fed up, he didn’t really have an answer as to why, but he let out a groan, throwing his head against the back of the couch. “What’s your problem?”

“’Jared, Jared, Jared.’ All I’ve heard since the guy bought the damned place is his name. Genevieve wants to talk about him because he’s her best friend and he’s an outgoing guy so Mike and Misha have clung to him and he and Tom just get along and, dammit, Danni, you were the one person who wasn’t swooning over the guy and here you are texting him on Saturday night. Just for five seconds I’d like to go without hearing his name.” It all came out in a rush and Jensen had to stop to catch his breath for a moment. As soon as he caught his breath, however, he continued. “I mean I get it; you’re attractive, he’s attractive, and if you want to go after him, fine, wonderful. But you just met the guy. Calm down before you jump into bed with him.”

The moment those last words left his mouth, Jensen wished he could pull them right back in. Danneel’s lips were pursed and she was biting the inside of her cheek.

“You’re lucky I love you and know you love me too, because if I didn’t I would either be hitting you or crying right now.”

“Danni-“ Jensen tried, but Danneel held a hand up.

“Stop talking before you make an even bigger dick of yourself. You can sit there in denial, you can argue, and you can say whatever you want to say, but you are a coward. Genevieve, Misha, Mike, and Tom are your friends, sure, but they don’t know you. They don’t know the extent that you were hurt by Nick and Luke and especially Drew. They don’t know that the reason you don’t date or even hookup with anyone is because you are terrified of feeling that same pain, that same void, you felt after Drew left you. They don’t know that you can see yourself feeling for Jared and that’s why you’ve pushed him as far away as you could. Can’t really develop feelings for a guy if you can’t even get to know him, am I right? They don’t know you well enough to know all of that, but I do know you well enough. I know you. So sit there and pout and sit there and call me whore, but do not make my promiscuity the problem in this situation. The problem is you and you need to man up to it.”

“Danni-“ Jensen tried again, but this time his voice was soft.

“I’m going to go finish packing. I’ve got an early flight tomorrow and the last thing I want to do is forget something.” She turned to walk away, but twisted to look at him. Her voice, too, was soft as she spoke. “Jared’s a really great guy. It would be a shame if you never got to know him because you’re too scared.” He heard her feet patter away and he was left with only the lulling of the television to break through the thoughts in his head. After a few moments by himself he found his eyes drooping. He laid back on the couch and allowed the drowsiness of the alcohol in his system to take over. His last thought before he fell asleep was about Danneel and maybe, just maybe, how she was right.

xxx

The next morning Jensen made Danneel pancakes and coffee and all seemed to be forgiven. That wasn’t their first fight and wouldn’t be their last. After straightening up the kitchen he helped her carry her bags downstairs. When they reached the bottom of the stairs everyone, minus Tom who was stuck in a meeting, was waiting outside Jensen’s shop. Danneel ran ahead and immediately went to Genevieve.

“These week-long visits are too short,” Genevieve said, her voice muffled by Danneel’s shoulder.

“I know. You guys just need to start coming with Jensen in October down to Texas.” She moved over and gave Mike and Misha quick hugs before she finally turned to Jared. “It was so great to meet you. Thanks for dealing with me all week.”

“Shut up. You were ecstatic to bestow me with your presence the entire week.”

“You’re right. You should be thanking me.” Jared laughed, but just as quickly as that happened he pulled out a bouquet of flowers.

“Thank you,” he said, a fond smile on his face. The bouquet was made up of pink and yellow tulips, blue irises, and orange Asiatic lilies. Not knowing what to say, Danneel leaned forward, wrapped her arms around Jared’s neck, and her painted lips found the corner of his mouth. Jensen bristled silently, but knew better than to make an ass of himself, especially after last night’s fiasco. Finally the cab showed up and Danneel hugged everyone once more.

“I’m going to miss you guys so much. You better not forget to call me. That means all of you!” She hopped in the car the moment her bags were secured in the trunk and she rolled the windows down. With a final wave and kiss blown toward Jensen the cab took off.

As the car disappeared so did everyone else, but not before Jared locked eyes with Jensen for just one passing moment. It hit him right then that he had to deal with this and, dammit, that Danneel was right. He walked back into his shop, heard the door close behind him, and wondered for just a second why he ever thought otherwise; Danneel was always right.


	4. Chapter 3

_Some Color_

Chapter 3

_“A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.” – Arnold H. Glasow_

Jensen tried to be friends with Jared after Danneel left, he really did. He made a silent vow to himself that he was going to be friendly and open with the guy. After all, it wasn’t Jared’s fault that Jensen was an emotional cripple and it also wasn’t his fault that he was dangerously attractive and charming.

Jared, for his part, was either oblivious or not fazed by Jensen’s lack of social skills when it came to him. If anything, Jared had only grown friendlier since Danneel left. Just the other day Jensen passed Jared on the sidewalk. Jensen had left Bobbie’s Diner a few minutes earlier and was holding an iced tea to-go in one hand. He saw Jared approaching, coming from the direction of their shops, and he felt his stomach twist. As though he couldn’t stop himself, he cast his eyes downward and prayed that Jared would just walk by without a word. Of course he heard Jared’s voice as soon as they were at a reasonable distance to talk without yelling.

“Hey, Jensen,” Jared greeted and Jensen looked up to see Jared’s warm smile shining at him. The feeling in his stomach increased and he muttered a quick hello back. Jared’s smile only grew and he motioned to the cup in Jensen’s hand. “That from Bobbie’s? Let me tell you, that woman is a genius. If I wasn’t afraid that we’d lose her to the big-wigs in Hollywood, I’d try to get her in some kind of cooking competition to get her own show.” Jensen felt himself involuntarily grin as they talked about Bobbie.

“We’ve come close to losing her a couple of times. She enters in the competitions at the state fair every year and there’s always someone there trying to steal her away from us,” Jensen said. Jared laughed and Jensen felt himself joining in. Jared’s laugh was contagious.

“I bet they do. Lucky for us, she’s ours to keep.”

“Definitely.” Jensen shifted on his feet and his eyes cast downward once more. “I’ll see you later,” he said simply. Instead of trying to continue the conversation Jared only smiled softly and called back after him.

“Have a good day, Jensen!”

Jensen most often saw Jared out in the front of his shop watering the flowers there or walking behind his shop to tend to his greenhouse. Jared’s little shop, a vibrant thing properly named Some Color, had grown quite popular with the locals. In the few weeks that he had been in Nelsonville he already had quite the turnout. Some of the older residents of the town had taken going to Jared’s shop to buy flowers to plant in their own window boxes and small gardens. The teenagers of the town were there looking for corsages as prom was only a few weeks away. Even the schools had gotten involved. One of the elementary school teachers had approached Jared to come in and help the first grade class make a class garden in a small lot by the school. It was nice seeing the community getting involved.

The other time Jensen saw Jared was when Jared went on his run every morning. Jensen, by nature, was not a morning person, but he did get up at a decent time so he could enjoy some quiet before his work day started. When he would get up and drink his coffee by the window he would see Jared jog back. He was almost always dressed in a pair of black shorts, tennis shoes, and a sweat-soaked tank which clung to him like a second skin. After he would slow down and come to a stop he would guzzle water, his head tipped backwards, Adam’s apple bobbing, and his sweat-slicked hair falling out of his face. Jensen didn’t like to watch, he just happened to be sitting by that window every morning.

The only time Jensen could even manage a complete conversation with Jared was when they were with the group. Usually it was just dinner with everyone, sometimes at Holly’s Café and sometimes at Brennan’s. Sometimes, only when they were all available, it was at guys’ night. Jared had been invited to guys’ night by Misha and he had gone to every one since. His first guys’ night with them was memorable. Jensen and Tom, the quietest of the group, quickly learned that they were now outnumbered by outgoing, energetic people.

“Jared!” Mike had exclaimed the moment Jared walked in with Misha. “Glad you could make it! Grab a beer, we’re playing poker.” Jared grabbed two beers for him and Misha and they quickly joined Jensen, Mike, and Tom at the table.

“Did you know he doesn’t own a hairbrush?” Misha asked immediately.

“I did not know that. I never thought about it, actually,” Tom answered. They were used to Misha’s sudden statements and could just roll with the punches, so to speak. Jared just laughed, something Jensen had noticed he did quite often, and cracked open his beer.

“I don’t need one. I just used my hands to run through it and it’s fine. Why waste money on a brush?”

“So let me get this straight,” Mike started after a swig of beer. “You’re six-four, built like a brick house, have women swooning at your feet, and you don’t even have to brush your hair? Get out of my house.” This led to more laughter, this time from the group.

“Mike’s just mad because he got so frustrated with his hair one time that he just went and shaved it all off,” Jensen commented as he started shuffling the cards.

“No way!”

“It was one time!”

“You shaved it every day for eight years straight,” Tom threw in with a roll of his eyes.

After three rounds of poker, in which Misha mysteriously won every round, and about six beers for each of them, things were getting pretty funny. Jared, despite his height and weight, was quite the lightweight, as was Tom. Misha actually relaxed more and came across as normal when drunk and Mike was still a weirdo, but a drunk weirdo. That left Jensen as basically the only somewhat-sober one around.

“So, Jay – can I call you Jay?” Mike slurred. “You’re a fairly attractive male.”

“This is, like, the fourth time you’ve mentioned that, Mike. Got a crush?” Jensen teased.

“Shhhh! As I was saying, you’re a fairly attractive male. Where’s your lady? A guy like you should have a lady on his arm.” Jared giggled – actually giggled – and ran a hand down his alcohol-flushed face.

“There’s no lady. Believe me, it’s best I stay lady-free for a while.”

“So there was a lady?” For second Jared seemed to sober up before putting on a, what Jensen could only assume, fake smile.

“Yeah, but not anymore. But who needs a lady when I’ve got all of you now, right?”

“And you’re not here for Genevieve or –“ Tom trailed. It was something all of them had wondered when Jared first moved to town. After all, both were attractive, single, and had a history with one another.

“Genevieve is just a friend. Believe me, we’ve both talked about it, but just came to the decision that we would always be better as friends. Which is fine, I like the thought of her as a friend much more than the thought of her as something more.”

“Genevieve’s an evil woman so I applaud your decision,” Misha called out. Jared cocked and eyebrow and Jensen groaned.

“Misha, if this is still about the soup –“

“I’m not getting over it!”

“The soup?” Jared asked. Misha slammed his empty bottle on the table and put his cards down as well.

“Let me tell you a little story. I like to call this one ‘the time Genevieve manipulated my own child into causing me harm.’” Mike, Tom, and Jensen all grumbled, but Jared smiled, this time a real one – a real drunken one – and motioned wildly with his hands for Misha to continue.

Yes, guys’ night was an absolute success and that meant trouble for Jensen. In fact everyone liked Jared so much that guys’ nights happened more frequently in an effort to get to know him more. When Jensen talked to Genevieve he could tell how happy she was and he couldn’t blame her. Her best friend had moved to town and everyone loved him. Well, everyone but Jensen, according to Genevieve.

“I just don’t understand what your deal is,” Genevieve accused one day as she refilled his drink. He had stopped in by Holly’s Café and Genevieve took that time to interrogate him. “I mean yes, you’ve gotten better, thank God, but you’re still not…you. And don’t give me that bullshit that it just takes you time to open up to people or whatever. You didn’t take this long to open up to me or Misha or Tom or Mike.”

“That’s because I didn’t have a choice. I was brand new in a town where everyone knew everyone. I couldn’t exactly be picky about who I talked to,” Jensen explained. Genevieve glared at him and wiped off imaginary stains on the countertop in frustration.

“Don’t make me call Danni. I know she knows what your deal is and I will wrangle it out of her if I have to.” The conversations was dropped after that, but Jensen knew that he had to get himself together. Of course getting himself together happened a little earlier than Jensen planned and it wasn’t exactly his choice. When it came to Jared things simply happened on their own.

xxx

April had come and gone and May was present in the air. Jensen had just gotten a new supply of ink in preparation for the upcoming summer months. Maybe it was because school was out or maybe it was because everyone got wild with the long awaited heat, but business really boomed in the summer. It was late, just after midnight, and Jensen couldn’t sleep so he decided to go downstairs and start organizing the new supplies. He had music playing quietly in the background, but it was just loud enough that he didn’t hear the bell above his threshold. In fact Jensen didn’t know anyone had walked in until he heard the drunken slur.

“I wanna tattoo,” the unfamiliar voice came. Jensen, as he would applaud himself later, didn’t jump at all at the sound. There was a guy standing in the doorway, lightly swaying on his feet, and Jensen had no idea who he was. He had spiked light blonde hair, squinted blue eyes, and, overall, was fairly attractive in a high-school-bad-boy kind of way.

“Sorry, we’re closed right now. Come back tomorrow when you’re sober,” Jensen said as he continued putting things away.

“No, I wanna a tat, a tattoo,” the guy mumbled again. Jensen sighed. This wasn’t the first time he had to deal with a drunk coming in wanting a tattoo and it wouldn’t be the last time either. Sometimes it was so frustrating that Jensen was tempted to just let people get the tattoos while drunk.

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. I can’t give you a tattoo while you’re drunk.”

“I’m not drunk!” the guy yelled and he took a wobbly step forward. Just as Jensen was ready to physically escort the guy out, Jared stumbled in the shop, his face flushed with alcohol as well.

“Chad! We can’t be in here, Jensen will get maaadd,” Jared garbled, almost, if not equally, as drunk as his friend.

“This yours?” Jensen asked, motioning to Chad who was glaring at his own two feet. He kicked his foot as though something was on it and almost fell over with the unexpected force of his own leg. Jared blinked as he noticed Jensen for the first time.

“This is, uh, Chad,” Jared answered. He paused before Chad’s name as though he couldn’t remember it.

“I wanna tattoo!” Chad yelled.

“Shhhhhhhh!” Jared hushed back and Jensen rolled his eyes.

“You two need to go to sleep.” He looked at the two of them, both with glassy, unfocussed eyes and he spoke louder to get their attention. “Hey!” Chad jumped and Jared whirled around before they both concentrated on Jensen again. “Can you two go over to your place, Jared?”

“Absolutely,” Jared said. When he stepped forward to grab Chad, who was still whining about how he wanted a tattoo, he stumbled, almost falling over and Jensen rushed to grab him.

“Whoa!” he yelled as he steadied Jared on his feet. Jared giggled and leaned into Jensen. “Okay, I’m going to help you two get there. Jared, where are your keys?” he grunted under the dead weight of Jared. Jared continued to giggle and Jensen sighed. “We’ll figure it when we get there,” he muttered to himself. Making sure Jared was standing on both feet he walked over to grab his own keys off the countertop. “Hey, Chad, you want that tattoo?” Jensen called over his shoulder.

“That’s what I’ve been saying!” Chad exclaimed and he threw his hands in the air in exasperation.

“C’mon then.” He gripped Jared by the arm and started toward the door. Miraculously he got Jared down the stairs with no issue. Just as he was about to drag Jared over to his own place he noticed Chad was nowhere in sight. With a groan he let go of Jared. “Stay,” he demanded before he rushed back inside. Chad was sitting on the ground next to Jensen’s work station and in his hands he held one of the books filled with tattoo designs.

“I want this thing!” he shouted as Jensen approached him. He was pointing to a Chinese symbol design.

“That’s great, but I think Jared needs to see you.” He held out a hand and lifted Chad off the ground. Chad started whining again, but Jensen easily maneuvered him out the door. Jared was sitting on the stairs humming to himself. When he saw Jensen and Chad he jumped up, nearly falling over once again, and looked back and forth between the two.

“Chad! How do’ya know Jensen?” he asked in confusion. Chad looked over at Jensen and his eyebrows drew together.

“I duuno,” he said slowly. Jensen huffed and plastered a fake smile on his face.

“Oh, we’re all old friends, believe me. Now let’s get you two inside.” After some pushing and pulling he got the two of them up the stairs of Jared’s shop. Luckily the shop was unlocked so the lack of keys wasn’t an issue. Jensen shoved them through the door and almost cried at the sight of the staircase he had to drag them up.

After half an hour of frustration he had the two drunken bodies on the top floor. Jensen was slightly sweating from the exertion of lagging two grown (one overly grown) men up an entire staircase and he cursed everything. Chad, for his part, seemed okay once he was near a soft surface. He face-planted into the couch and not ten seconds later started emitting snores. Not bothering with him anymore, Jensen went to get Jared in bed. For the first time that night Jared was quiet. Jensen walked him to the bedroom and got him to sit down on his bed. With everything winding down Jensen suddenly felt awkward. He hadn’t thought much about it as it was happening, but now, standing in Jared’s bedroom in the middle of the night, he felt a bit strange.

“I’m going to head out,” he said quietly, his voice hardly heard over Chad’s snoring. Just as he turned to go he felt Jared’s hand grip his own, not letting him leave. He turned and looked down at Jared’s face. This was the closest the two had ever been and Jensen found himself confused by Jared’s eyes. Were they blue? Green? Was that gold?

“No, don’t go,” Jared whined, his hand tight around Jensen’s own.

“Jared –“ Jensen started as he tried to gently twist his way out of Jared’s grip.

“Why do you hate me?” Jensen was caught off-guard by the question. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. That was okay though because Jared wasn’t done talking. “’Cause I don’t want you to hate me. I want you to like me, see? You’re really funny when you tell stories and you’re really hot.” Jensen felt his ears turn pink and he quickly tried to stop Jared from talking any further.

“Jared, I really think –“

“Like you’re really, really hot. Like, whew!” Jared said, all accompanied by a hand gesture that Jensen guessed was supposed to be an explosion. “You’re eyes are super green and you’ve got little dots all over your face and I like them a lot. Ooh, also when you smile you have little lines by your eyes and I like those a lot, too. Did I talk about the tattoos yet? Because I haven’t seen them all, but what I can see is whew! Tattoos are sexy. Also you’re –“ Jared rambled. If he had a mirror to look in Jensen was one hundred percent certain that he had never been redder than he was at this very moment. He had to get out of there now.

“Jared, you really need to sleep,” Jensen interjected. Jared stopped talking and started nodding.

“Yeah, that sounds good, I think I’ll do that.” He fell backwards on the bed and Jensen waited until it looked like he had settled. Slowly he backed out of Jared’s bedroom. He was almost out the door about to head down the stairs when he heard a happily drunk Jared.

“Night!” he chirped.

“G’night,” Jensen whispered before he ran back to his shop, his heart beating wildly.

xxx

Jared woke up with a pounding headache. He was face-first in his pillow and still dressed all the way down to his shoes. With a groan he pushed his body up and immediately was hit with a wave of nausea. Running to the bathroom he fell to his knees and proceeded to empty the contents of his stomach.

“God,” he spat out as he stood up on two shaky legs. He felt a hand drop onto his shoulder and he looked up to see Chad holding some medicine and a cup of water in his hands. “Thanks.” He downed the pills with the water and went to brush his teeth. Chad was leaning against the doorway, a hand pressed to his forehead, and he let out a gruff noise in response. “What happened last night?”

“Well,” Chad sighed, “I’m not one hundred percent sure, but I think we drank an entire bar.”

“Yep, kinda guessed that part.” He brushed his teeth and followed Chad back to the living room. They both flopped down on the couch and Jared shielded his eyes from the sunlight streaming in from the open blinds. “No, honestly what happened last night?” He tried to recall the events from the night, but everything was hazy. He first remembered Chad arriving with no warning.

xxx

It was a sunny and warm May day outside and Jared was out enjoying it as much as possible. He was outside in a worn pair of jeans and a white t-shirt. The sun was beating down on him, but he was okay because Genevieve had brought him lemonade from the café. After checking on the plants in the greenhouse and watering the flowers potted outside his shop he decided to head in, grab a shower, and relax for the rest of the evening. Just as he had grabbed a towel and was ready to shut the bathroom door he heard his doorbell go off. He huffed out a sigh, but nonetheless went downstairs. There was a list of people whom Jared expected to be on the other side; there was Genevieve, Mike, Misha, maybe even Tom, but he definitely didn’t expect to see Chad.

“You ditched Cali for this shithole?” came the immediate question. Chad shoved past Jared and into the shop. “And really? A flower shop? I mean seriously, man.”

“Hi to you too, Chad,” Jared commented unnecessarily. He closed the door behind him and turned to face Chad, who was standing there with hands on his hips, spinning around to look at the shop. He ran a hand through his short blonde hair and looked back at Jared with a roll of his eyes.

“I hope the upstairs is better than all this flower-bullshit, too,” Chad continued. “And another thing! Who exactly do you think you are? Do you really think you can just up and abandon everything without telling me? No, it does not work like that, my friend. Come here.” He pulled Jared down into a hug than pushed back and slapped him hard on the chest. “Seriously, what the hell?”

“Dude, I can only answer so many questions at once. Chill out,” Jared laughed incredulously as he closed the front door. “How did you even find me? I haven’t changed my address or even told anyone where I am, besides Genevieve.”

“She posted a picture on Facebook of your new place and left the fucking location on. Wasn’t that hard,” Chad answered with a shrug.

“God, you stalker.”

“No, I’m amazing. But seriously, what the hell? Why are you here in freakin’ Nelsonville?” Jared let out a sigh and looked over at his best friend.

“Well…”

xxx

He told Chad everything. He told him about the move and about finding his place in Nelsonville and about Genevieve and everyone that she introduced him to.

“Sounds like you’ve had a hell of a year,” Chad commented at the end.

“You could say that,” Jared agreed with a sigh.

“Y’know, you could pick up the phone and, oh I don’t know, call me when you decide to move across the country because of an existential crisis.”

“I was trying not to put anyone out.”

“Idiot,” Chad scoffed. “That’s what friends are for. We’re there to be put out if it means helping each other out. And you went to Genevieve,” Chad threw out.

“You were dealing with your own shit,” Jared said. “How is everything going anyway?”

“We’re trying to work stuff out, but…yeah,” Chad paused. “But this isn’t about me. This is about you.”

“Chad—“ Jared started.

“Nope. You listen here, gigantor, your life may have gone to hell, but you’re here in off-the-map, Indiana, and you’re gonna get a fresh start. And I’m gonna be there every second of the week.”

“Every second of the week?”

“Yeah, I have to leave by Sunday or my boss will have my ass.”

“So what do you propose we do this week?”

“Well I say we get crazy shitfaced before we really do anything. Then we can get down to business, like why the hell you now own a flower shop or is Genevieve still single and if so can you help a guy out or about your love for what’s-his-face or –“

“Wait, what?” Jared cut him off with wide eyes.

“Oh yeah, don’t think I didn’t see your eyes light up when you said whatever his name is. Jensen? Yep, that must be it because you’re blushing. But I don’t want to hear about your gay love until I have some alcohol in my system.”

And that was the start of their night. They went to one of the bars by the university (and they went at an hour not exactly considered socially acceptable) and drank and drank and drank. And they drank until late and miraculously ended up safe at Jared’s place.

xxx

“Who lives next door?” Chad asked as he continued to shield his eyes from the sunlight.

“Jensen does,” Jared answered. He too was shielding his eyes, but didn’t have the energy to go close the blinds.

“You have a thing for a fucking tattoo artist?” Jared didn’t answer and simply allowed the silence to do so for him. In the quiet Jared could hear his heart beat and the pulsing was only adding to the continued pounding in his brain. God, his head hurt so badly.

“I think your boy got us here last night,” Chad commented after a minute.

“What?” Jared asked as he uncovered his eyes. Chad was sitting on the edge of the couch, his hands cradling his head.

“I said I think your boy got us back here last night.”

“What makes you say that?” Jared asked again, even as he felt the dread start flowing through his veins.

“I wanted a tattoo,” Chad said.

“You always want a tattoo when you’re drunk,” Jared shot back, his mind briefly filled with memories of Chad screaming for tattoos whenever he touched alcohol. “That doesn’t mean a thing.”

“No. I wanted a tattoo,” he enunciated. Jared just stared at him for a moment, not really getting what he was trying to say, when everything came rushing back to him. ‘Why do you hate me?’ ‘I want you to like me, see?’ ‘Like, you’re really hot.’ ‘Tattoos are sexy.’

“Oh, god,” he whispered.

“Yep,” Chad agreed, popping the ‘p’ at the end.

“Oh, god,” Jared said a little bit louder.

“You say something stupid after I passed out?” Chad asked knowingly.

“Uh-huh,” Jared nodded dumbly.

“You always were a loud-mouthed drunk.”

“I need to go apologize or something. Ugh,” Jared groaned.

“Well, when you go apologize or whatever for the idiocy your big mouth spat out, I’m gonna get a tattoo.”

“Are you serious?” Jared questioned, his head even worse now that he was humiliated.

“Hell yeah! I’ve always wanted one, why not get one from the guy you’re all hot about.”

“I don’t think that’s a great idea, Chad.”

“Bullshit. But we’re getting rid of these damn headaches first. And you might wanna shower.” Jared glared at him and Chad threw his hands up in defense. “Just saying.”

xxx

The day hadn’t been too busy for Jensen. He had two clients and he and Charlie each did one. The guy Jensen tattooed only wanted a simple cross over his heart which took about ten minutes. Tom stopped in, bringing lunch, and they had chatted amiably until Tom had to head back to work. He was chatting with Alona and Charlie when the bell over the threshold chimed.  
He looked up to see Jared there with his friend from last night.

“Hi, Jared!” Alona smiled and Jensen briefly wondered how she ended up on a first name basis with the guy.

“Hey, Alona,” Jared greeted back as he waved to Charlie. “Can we talk for a second, Jensen?” Jared asked. Jensen nodded and motioned for Jared and Chad to follow him toward the back.

“What’s up?” he asked once they got a semblance of privacy.

“We,” Jared started, but Chad elbowed him in the ribs. “I wanted to apologize about last night.”

“Oh,” Jensen started, watching Jared’s face intently. He was watching his face in hopes of finding a sign, any sign really, that he remembered what he said last night.

“Yeah, it kind of came back to us this morning and I – can’t speak for Chad – but I wanted to thank you for helping us get back to my place safe last night.”

“It was no big deal,” Jensen brushed off.

“No, it kind of was. We were being obnoxious and you didn’t have to help, but you did. So thanks, I really appreciate it.” Jensen nodded and tried not to be disappointed that Jared didn’t mention what he had said the night before. It was probably a good thing, in all honesty, that Jared didn’t remember. Actually it was a very good thing.

“Well, this conversation has been great and all, but I came here because I want a tattoo.” Jensen looked over at Chad and smirked, remembering his drunken rambles from the night before.

“Yeah, that’s what you kept saying. We haven’t properly met either. I’m Jensen,” he said as he stuck his hand out.

“’m Chad and I’m serious. I want a tattoo.” Jensen dropped his hand and looked back and forth between Jared and Chad.

“Seriously?”

“He’s serious,” Jared said.

“Do I need to set up an appointment with your hot secretary?” Chad asked.

“Umm,” Jensen started, “I mean, I’m free the rest of the day so if you know what you want I can probably get you started right now.”

“Sweet!” Chad grinned. He ran to the front of the shop and plopped down in a chair, not even bothering to wait for Jensen.

“Sorry about him,” Jared said sheepishly. His head was down just enough that he had to peer at Jensen through strands of hair that fell in his face.

“It’s no problem. I’m just glad he actually wants a tattoo.”  
“Chad’s always wanted a tattoo, but just never really got around to it,” Jared explained as they started walking toward the seat where Chad was.

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” Jared shrugged. “I guess it was never the right time.”

“Charlie, Alona – you guys can leave if you want to. I don’t think we’re going to have to worry about many more people coming in until the weekend,” Jensen called to his employees.

“You sure?” Charlie asked even as he reached for his jacket and wallet.

“Positive. Alona, get away from the customer,” Jensen scolded as he saw Alona leaning against the wall while talking to Chad.

“But-“ she started.

“No. Go home and finish your homework.” She pouted, but stood up and slowly gathered her things.

“Okay, dad,” Alona muttered with annoyance. She and Charlie left the shop with a wave and Jensen turned to find Jared glaring at Chad.

“Really? You’re going to hit on the college student?”

“What? It was harmless flirting,” Chad explained.

“Yeah, okay,” Jared shot back sarcastically.

“Alright,” Jensen started as he got together the thermal transfer paper and the purple marker. “Tell me what you want.”

“Okay, so I was thinking of getting my initials –“

“You’re getting your own initials?” Jared interrupted. “What? Are you worried you’re gonna forget?”

“No, asshole,” Chad growled. “Anyway, I want my initials in some cool writing. Like I want it to look like some old medieval stuff, y’know? And I want the top to be red and the bottom of it blue.”

“What are your initials?” Why Chad wanted his own initials Jensen couldn’t guess, but it really wasn’t his place to judge a customer. Yes, there were some things he flat out refused to do, but that was more for his own reputation than anything else.

“CMM,” Chad answered. Jensen wasn’t even looking at Chad as he spoke. He had a sketch pad in his lap and a pencil moving swiftly across the white page. Jared watched him with fascination. He had seen Jensen out with the guys, he had seen him a little tipsy, and he had seen him around town, but he had never seen him at work. His head was cast down, completely focused on the drawing. Some lines were dark and precise while others were lightly sketched in smooth curves. The rings on Jensen’s fingers occasionally clanged together as he moved his hand and the muscles in in his forearms flexed slightly. His right arm had a sleeve tattoo all done in black ink. It was a geometrical tattoo. The lines were black and defined, winding up his arm and disappearing underneath the gray short sleeves of his shirt. The shading around the lines gave it the appearance of being three dimensional in some points.

“How’s this?” Jensen asked as he held the paper out to Chad and brought Jared from his staring stupor. The sketched tattoo was stunning for only being three letters long.

“Wow,” Jared breathed.

“Dude, how’d you do that so fast?” Chad asked.

“It’s my job. So are you okay with this? I can make any changes you want,” Jensen reaffirmed.

“No, that’s perfect. But could you make it a little bigger?”

“Yeah, I’ll go copy that and resize it in a minute. Now this tattoo is going to take about forty-five minutes or so to complete. Think you can handle it?” Jensen asked.

“Pssh, you bet your ass I can.” Jensen rolled his eyes and Jared tried not to think of Jensen’s ass – thanks Chad. Jensen stood and went over to a copier machine to resize the drawing before coming back over to Chad and Jared.

“This better?” Chad nodded and Jensen immediately got to work on tracing the design onto the thermal transfer paper. “Where exactly do you want this?”

“Just on my upper arm.” Jensen got out a brand new disposable razor and methodically got rid of the fine hairs that could get in the way. He then used rubbing alcohol to clean the area. Once that was dry he pressed the thermal transfer paper to Chad’s arm. He slowly removed the translucent paper to reveal a perfectly copied version of the drawing on Chad’s upper arm. Jensen went about getting the ink into the tattoo gun and adjusting which needles were in place.

“Alright,” Jensen started as soon as he was done setting up the equipment. “Are you ready?” Chad sucked in a breath, the nerves suddenly getting to him, but nodded.

“Should I leave?” Jared asked, unsure. He knew absolutely nothing about tattoos and he didn’t know if Jensen would feel put out by Jared watching.

“No, you can stay if Chad’s fine with it,” he said as he washed his hands and slipped them into sterile gloves.

“Get the fuck out,” Chad joked and pointed towards the door. Jared rolled his eyes and took a seat near Jensen’s work station. Jensen pulled forward his stool and reached for the tattoo gun.

“Let’s go,” Jensen smiled. With the push of a button the loud whirring of the gun began and Chad involuntarily tensed. The first touch of the needles to his skin made him hiss. Jared cringed, believing his friend to be in pain, but after a second his muscles seemed to loosen and he looked at Jensen with wide eyes.

“This isn’t so bad,” he stated and Jensen smiled wryly.

“Well your upper arm isn’t that sensitive so you picked a good spot for a first tattoo.” There was a pause, the only sound the buzz of the tattoo gun, then he spoke again. “Also we haven’t started the coloring yet so…” he trailed. The panicked expression on Chad’s face was brilliant and both Jensen and Jared laughed.

“That is so not funny!” Chad exclaimed.

“It’s a little funny,” Jared disagreed as he laughed again which earned him a glare from Chad. It grew quiet once more after that. Jensen moved the tattoo gun with the same grace as he had the pencil. Some people were just naturally gifted and while he probably had to practice a lot to adjust to a bunching of needles over a pencil Jensen was a born artist, Jared mused.

“So why did you decide to get a tattoo now?” Jensen asked, his voice soft as not to cause Chad to startle. His eyes were dead-set on the skin below the needles and his hand remained steady.

“I don’t know. I’ve always wanted one, I guess. My dad had a couple of tattoos and one of my brothers even went on to get one the day he turned eighteen. Tattoos are pretty sweet, anyway. And I’ve gone in a few places, ready to get one, but it just never happened.” With a mischievous gleam in his eyes he winked at Jared before he continued. “And Jared likes you, so you must be a pretty cool guy.”

“Hmm,” Jensen noted, his eyes not losing focus, therefore, he didn’t get to see the panicked glare Jared sent Chad’s way. Chad smirked and tossed a wink at Jared.

“Yeah, I mean when he first said he lived next door to a tattoo artist I laughed, thinking he’d be having a hell of a time, but the more he talked about you, and let me say, that was a lot, you just seemed like a good guy so—“ he lied, going out of his way to embarrass his friend.

“Okay!” Jared interjected quickly, “Chad, how about you shut your trap for a few seconds and let Jensen focus on his work.”

“Yeah, we’re getting ready to start the coloring so I’m gonna give you a minute to recover. Either of you want anything to drink?” Jensen jumped up.

“No, we’re fine. Thank you though,” Jared answered for Chad. Jensen nodded and proceeded to go upstairs to his kitchen. As soon as he was out of sight Jared punched Chad in his non-tattooed arm, none too gently.

“Ow!” Chad yelled.

“What the hell are you doing?” Jared asked angrily.

“Just trying to push this thing along! You two are both so gone on each other, but neither of you plan on doing anything about it. I mean, holy shit. I’m getting nauseous at the looks you two are giving each other and, not gonna lie, it’s kind of freaking me out that he keeps looking at you while he’s holding a shit-ton of needles that will permanently mark my skin,” Chad explained.

“He doesn’t look at me,” Jared argued.

“Oh, he does. You two just never look at each other at the same time. It’s annoying.”

xxx

Jensen reached the top of the stairs and huffed out a loud breath. He didn’t know what game Chad and Jared were playing at, but he didn’t like it one bit. There was no way Jared had ever talked about him. And if he had it was probably, ‘the guy next door is a dick who won’t even say hi to me, but it’s cool because everybody else loves me.’ He grabbed a glass and filled it with water, gulping down the drink quickly. All he had to do was finish Chad’s tattoo then he could finally get the two out of his shop.

xxx

Jared and Chad were still arguing in hushed voices when Jensen got back down the stairs. It wasn’t hard to feel the awkward tension in the room as they quieted down the moment Jensen got down to them.

“Ready to color?” Jensen asked. Chad nodded and Jensen didn’t hesitate to get to work. The coloring caused Chad to tense again as it felt like Jensen was digging the needles into the same place over and over again. Luckily the coloring wasn’t complicated and Jensen was almost done.

“Wow,” Jared breathed again, not really realizing he had even begun talking.

“What?” Jensen asked.

“You’re just…you’re amazing,” Jared said honestly. Jensen didn’t respond to the compliment, but Jared noticed the way the tips of his ears tinged pink and he smiled.

“Alright. You’re done.” Jensen stepped back and allowed Chad to look at his arm in the mirror on the wall.

“Holy shit,” Chad said as he looked at himself. “This is awesome, man.”

“Is it what you pictured it to be?”

“It’s better than what I thought,” Chad announced honestly and Jensen smiled. There was nothing better than the satisfaction of a client with his work. “Thanks.” Jensen bandaged up his arm and sat him down to talk about the aftercare.

“Keep it bandaged for the next few hours. Since it’s on your arm, an area exposed quite often, I’m going to suggest you leave it bandaged for the next four hours. After that take the bandage off and gently wash it with warm – not hot, not cold – water. This is a salve I’m going to give you,” he said as he pulled out two little packets of medicine. “Apply this on the tattoo for the next two weeks every day. It doesn’t have to be a lot of salve, just enough to make sure the scabbing doesn’t get too dry. As long as you do that everything should heal up accordingly.” They went over to the register and Chad paid. With a nod at one another both Chad and Jared tipped him quite generously. When Jensen noticed that the tip almost matched the price of the tattoo he tried to give them some of the money back.

“Nope, that’s for the great work and for helping our drunk assess last night,” Chad said. Jensen opened his mouth to argue, but after a look from both men he threw his hands up in defeat.

“Well, thank you,” he said genuinely.

“You ready, Jared?” Chad asked as he stuffed his wallet back into the back pocket of his jeans.

“You head out, I’ll be there in a second.” Chad raised an eyebrow, but didn’t argue and started for the door. When Jensen turned around, his back to the two, to grab a few things behind him Chad started making obscene thrusting motions. Jared threw his wallet at him and Chad laughed. The noises garnered Jensen’s attention and Chad waved and walked out as though nothing had just happened.

“Thank you again,” Jared started.

“It’s no problem, really. Doing tattoos is kind of my job,” Jensen pointed out.

“Right,” Jared smiled. “Well thank you for last night, too. Taking care of your drunk neighbor and his friend isn’t in your job description.”

“It’s what we do here in Nelsonville,” Jensen brushed off. A silence fell over the two again and Jared bit the inside of his cheek in worry.

“I’m sorry for anything I said or did last night, too.” Jensen looked up at him, his eyes intent on Jared’s face and maybe a little hopeful. “I always say stupid stuff when I’m really drunk. You know how it is.”

“Oh,” Jensen said. He knew he shouldn’t be disappointed, but just because he knew he shouldn’t didn’t mean he wasn’t anyway.

“Yeah. So thanks again, for putting up with my drunk ass and Chad’s too.”

“No problem.” Jared gave his goodbyes and walked out to meet Chad by the sidewalk.

“What’d you say to him? Confess your undying love? Tell him you were bringing him flowers later?”

“No, you moron. I apologized for what I said last night and told him that I didn’t mean any of it, I just turn into a loudmouth when I’m drunk.” Chad stopped walking and stared at Jared. “What?”

“Are you serious? You told him you didn’t mean what you said last night?”

“Well, yeah…” Jared trailed.

“Oh my god.”

“What?” Jared repeated, this time louder. Chad looked at him with judgment and put a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s okay. I’m here for the next few days and I will help you. God knows you need it.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You are never, ever going to get laid,” Chad said, more to himself than Jared. “Don’t you worry, my friend. I’m here and I will help you with your gay love.”

xxx

Chad was Jared’s worst nightmare. First he showed up, got Jared drunk which led to Jared telling Jensen he was really hot, then he decided he wanted a tattoo, and he then decided to make the rest of his week-long visit hell on earth for Jared.

Chad had done so many stupid things in his life that Jared simply thought he was immune to it all. Now, however, he hated Chad with a burning fire…okay, maybe that was an exaggeration, but he was very irritated with him.

He had gone out of his way to push Jared and Jensen into awkward situations with one another. At first it wasn’t too bad. Yes, they were awkward, but, at the end of the day they could have been worse.

xxx

The first thing happened when they passed Jensen on the sidewalk the day after Chad’s tattoo.

“Hey, man,” Chad greeted first.

“Hi,” Jensen said back. He was wearing a thin white t-shirt and Jared could almost make out all the black lines painted on his skin. Jared wondered what each tattoo was and if he’d ever be able to see them all. This, of course, lead to the mental image of Jensen without a shirt on and Jared quickly chased that away, a blush fighting its way to his face. “How’s the tattoo?”

“Great! I seriously love it, dude.”

“Awesome.” He glanced at Jared briefly and Jared shifted on his feet. “Well I’ve got to run back to the shop. Have a good day, guys.” This was when Chad’s “master plan” (his words) started to play out. Just as Jensen went to walk Chad swung his body over ever so slightly. He moved just enough that it caused Jensen to trip over Chad’s left foot. Without thinking, Jared quickly reached out and pulled Jensen tight to his chest to prevent him from falling. They were pressed tight against one another, rib cages heaving, and faces so close that Jared was certain he could count every single freckle that sprinkled Jensen’s face.

“Are you alright?” Jared breathed after a second. Jensen simply nodded, his eyes wide and searching.

“I’m so sorry!” Chad exclaimed, though Jared sensed no sincerity in his tone. His voice brought the two back out of their stupor and Jared slowly let Jensen go, his arms sliding from around his body. Jensen got settled back on his feet and adjusted his shirt.

“No problem.” He practically fled the area and Jared threw his hands out to his sides.

“Really, Chad? What the hell were you doing? He could have gotten hurt!”

“Oh, cry me a river! I know your reflexes and I knew you’d catch him. Now go write a love poem about his face or whatever. The way you were staring I figure maybe you can even write a book.”

xxx

After the tripping incident things got progressively worse…unless you were Chad of course.

“God,” Chad laughed as Jared ran into his living room. “Both of your faces!”

“Chad, I swear I’m going to kill you!”

“C’mon! Just give it a few days and you’ll be laughing with me!”

xxx

Jared thought nothing could beat what happened two nights ago. They were at one of the college bars again and who did they run into? Jensen of course! He was there with Misha and both were leaning over the bar talking to the bartender. He was a big, strong, good-looking guy (who later Jared found to be named Ty and he was very nice) and Jared immediately wanted to leave.

“Dude, go talk to him!” Chad had pushed.

“No, let’s just grab some drinks and –“

“Nope. Right now, let’s go.” Chad had dragged him over to the bar and sidled up next to Jensen and Misha.

“Speak of the devil,” Misha had muttered low enough that Jared briefly wondered if he was meant to hear it. By the look on Jensen’s face that was a no.

“Well I hope you don’t plan on making tonight a repeat of your first night here,” Jensen had mused once he regained his composure.

“Don’t worry, Jensen, I’ll keep Jared in line tonight.” The four of them had stayed, leaning against the bar, but not really talking to one another. After his third beer Jared ran to restroom. He hadn’t been gone two minutes, but when he had gotten back there were dozens of people right in the area he had been standing. As politely as one could be in a crowded bar, Jared squeezed past the multitude of bodies. When he got back Jensen and Misha were leaning over the bar talking to Ty once more. As Jared went to move past Jensen Chad shoved him forward. This caused Jared’s hips to crush into the curve of Jensen’s ass.

“What the --!” Jensen exclaimed in surprise.

“My bad!” Chad started as he leaned against Jared even harder.

“Chad! Move!”

“I can’t, the crowd is too much!” he snorted.

Jared found an excuse to grab Chad and run out of there as soon as possible after that. He couldn’t chase away the searing heat of Jensen’s body or feeling of him so close. One thing he was thankful for was that he got out of there before he had to see Jensen’s face. Yeah, he had thought nothing could top that night.

But as usual, when it came to Chad, Jared was very wrong.

xxx

The shower turned off and Jared grabbed a towel to run through his wet hair.

“Hey, Jared?” Chad called.

“Yeah?”

“There’s something downstairs making a hella weird noise. You probably want to go check it out because I don’t know what it is.”

“Yeah, I’ll run down and check,” Jared called back as he wrapped the towel loosely around his waist. He stepped out the bathroom, steam from the hot shower following him, and looked over at Chad.

“C’mon, I’ll show you.” Jared followed him down the staircase. He was careful not to slip as they tumbled down and Chad pointed toward the door. “It was that thing,” he said, pointing to the alarm system with the green blinking light.

“It’s not doing anything now,” Jared pointed out, looking around to see if anything was out of place.

“Dude, I would still look. That sound was crazy.” Jared sighed, but moved over to the system. He checked out the few buttons but saw nothing wrong. When he turned to tell Chad, he heard the front door open and he was shoved out the door.

“Chad!” Jared yelled as he pounded on the door once his footing was regained. He heard the lock slide into place over Chad’s cackling. “Chad! What the hell? Open up the damn door right now!” One hand gripped the towel around his waist like a life line.

“No can do!”

“Chad, I swear when I get this door opened I’m going to get in there and strangle you and then I’m going to –“

“Jared?” Jared sucked in a breath and braced his free hand against the door.

“Hi, Jensen!” Jared turned around to find Jensen watching him with wide eyes. “Nice weather today.”

“Uh-huh.” He was rubbing at the back of his neck and moved his eyes to the ground. “Is, uh, everything alright?”

“Oh yeah,” Jared answered as his hand scrambled to pull the towel tighter to him. “Chad’s just being an asshole, nothing unusual.”

“Right. Do you – I mean I could – we could – would you like…” Jensen stuttered. Ms. Gerri, a small, frail old women turned the corner just then and stopped at the scene in front of her.

“Oh, dear,” she blushed. “Pardon me.” She turned back and Jared thumped his head against the door.

“Chad,” he gritted out quietly between his teeth.

xxx

“Seriously, I’m going to kill you, Chad!” Jared slammed his bedroom door shut and rummaged around for clothes.

“It’s no big deal, Jared! If you would just –“ came Chad’s muffled voice from behind the door.

“You locked me out of the house in my fucking towel, Chad! It is a big deal!” Jared threw the door open, now dressed in a pair of gray sweats and a white, worn t-shirt. “I’m brand new to this town and I’m trying to run a successful, respected business so I can save up the rest of the money I need. Standing out in public in nothing but a flimsy towel isn’t exactly the kind of business-boost I wanted.” Chad put his hands up in a defensive manner.

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry, I thought it was funny. We used to do shit like this all the time.”

“That’s when we were kids. I’m twenty-three years old and you’re twenty-five. We can’t just do shit like this anymore, we’re adults,” Jared lectured, but he felt himself already loosening up after Chad’s apology. Chad laughed outright at Jared’s last statement though.

“We are not adults, Jared. Just because we’re legal ones doesn’t mean we are.” He paused for a second and started laughing again. “But you have to admit, seeing that old lady blush to the roots of her hair was pretty great.” Jared bit the inside of his cheek trying not to give in, but soon the hilarity overcame his anger and he joined Chad.

“She seriously looked so scandalized, I’m surprised she didn’t call the cops.”

“You know who else was blushing?”

“Not now, Chad.”

“Jensen turned pretty red, too.”

 

xxx

“Look, Jared. I’m leaving tomorrow. The guy thinks you’re hot, alright? He was blatantly checking you out when you were out there and I am going to ask you to stop pussyfooting around the guy. You two hardly even talk, just stare at one another and never at the same time.” Jared opened his mouth to speak, but Chad just kept going. “And you know I hate this shit. Like I really hate this shit. I hate relationship whatever, but dammit, Jared! You need to be happy again! You haven’t been happy in years and you are too young to be like that! So you need to put yourself out there, get your man, and get laid.” Jared went to talk again, but Chad was clearly not having it. “And another thing! Don’t just tell me you will to make me shut up. Fucking mean it, okay?”

“Okay…I promise.”

“I literally just said don’t fucking say it unless you mean it!”

“Okay! I promise, Chad. I promise I will try to be happy again,” Jared whispered. Chad was right, it had been a long time.

“Good. So the next time I come back here I expect you to have Jensen’s tattooed ass in your bed and a smile bigger than the sun on your face.” He paused. “Okay, at least the smile part, I don’t really want to see Jensen in your bed so don’t show me that.”

“Dully noted,” Jared laughed. “Thanks for caring.”

“God, we’ve actually turned into a soap opera.” Jared smirked and pulled Chad in for a hug. “You’re welcome though,” came Chad’s quiet, delayed reply.


	5. Chapter 4

_Some Color_

Chapter 4

_“Grief is in two parts. The first is loss. The second is the remaking of life.” – Anne Roiphe_

“Okay, tell me again!” Misha laughed as he spun in circles in Jensen’s desk chair.

“Jared. Locked outside his place. Banging on his door for his friend to let him in. Wearing nothing but a towel,” Jensen repeated.

“God!” Misha cackled. “You two have had quite the week.”

“You could say that,” Jensen muttered in agreement.

“So how hot is he exactly?” Jensen shrugged and turned to busy himself so Misha wouldn’t see his face go pink. “Wow, he’s hot enough that you won’t even look at me to answer?” Jensen threw a glare over his shoulder at Misha who only ginned lecherously. “What was hotter: him locked outside in a towel or him grinding up against you at the bar?” An empty water bottle launched at Misha’s face as he continued to cackle.

“I told you not to talk about that!”

“I mean honestly,” Misha continued as though Jensen hadn’t said a word, “what were the chances of him showing up the exact moment you started tipsy-lamenting about him?

“I was not lamenting about him,” Jensen grumbled.

“’Oh, Misha, whatever am I going to do? The hot guy next door! I just cannot bring myself to talk to him! Woe is me!’” Misha shrilled in a high pitched, mocking voice.

“Okay first of all I sound nothing like that and second of all I would never, never, say ‘Woe is me.’ Got it?”

“I’m just saying, Jensen, you got a little dramatic. And, lucky or unlucky, the guy showed up. Also what did Chad say when he came to get the tattoo? That Jared had been talking about you?”

“He just said that to make things weird. I don’t know the guy, but he was obviously one of those guys that enjoys making people uncomfortable. It didn’t mean anything,” Jensen said.

“I don’t believe in coincidences, you know that. I mean there’s a reason that they were keeping some movie sets hidden right around the time Armstrong “landed on the moon,” if you get what I’m saying. A guy moves to town a week after we lectured you about putting yourself out in the dating-world more, his friend says that he’s been talking about you, he shows up seconds after you start talking about him, and you two have this weird sexual tension going on whenever we’re all together. That’s not a coincidence, it’s just…there.”

“Wait, what?” Jensen demanded, his ears still ringing on the words ‘sexual tension.’

“You just don’t see it. It’s weird, but we were just too scared to tell you,” Misha explained, still spinning in circles.

“You were too scared to tell me? I’m not scary,” Jensen argued.

“You get slightly defensive whenever we bring up the whole boyfriend, or lack-there-of, thing.”

“I do not get defensive! What, just because I don’t want to talk about it makes me defensive?”

“Yeah, see, you do that,” Misha pointed out.

“We don’t even know if he’s gay, Misha,” Jensen said, ignoring everything Jared had said to him that first night Chad was over.

“Everyone’s a little gay,” Misha sang.

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Yeah-huh.”

“Nope.”

“It’s true.”

“Misha! I’m serious, we don’t know and I don’t feel like bothering with it. It’s not worth it,” Jensen fought.

“Fine,” Misha conceded, “but if we find out he’s gay, or bi, or just up for whatever, you’re gonna have hell to deal with from me.”

“Fine.”

xxx

Chad went back home (not before getting Jared good and drunk one last time of course) and Jared was left alone in his little shop. He wasn’t alone for long, however, because soon Genevieve came knocking.

“I feel like I haven’t seen you since you moved here,” she complained.

“We’ve both been crazy busy,” Jared pointed out as he shut the door that she had just barged in.

“That’s no excuse. We talked more when you were still in California. Now we’re two minutes from each other and I have no idea what you’ve been up to.”

“Not true. You just saw me the other day!” Jared countered.

“No, I saw you and Chad the other day,” Genevieve grumbled. “I love Chad, I do, but I kind of hate him, too.”

“Yeah, Chad makes a lot of people feel that way.”

“Seriously though, I miss my best friend. How are you?”

“I’m good,” Jared smiled. “Kinda busy, though. Busier than I thought I would be anyway.”

“Sounds like it. I heard you were working with Miss Samson’s third grade class.”

“Oh yeah! It’s been awesome, the kids are all great. This one kid, Carter, he’s way into the whole gardening thing. Or maybe it’s just digging for worms. I can’t really tell yet,” he laughed.

“Cindy’s a great girl…pretty, single, a teacher,” Genevieve trailed.

“Nope. Do not try to set me up with anyone,” Jared warned quickly.

“I’m just saying,” Genevieve came back just as quickly. She eyed him curiously, watching the way he shifted slightly. “Or maybe you’re not interested because there’s someone else.”

“What? No. It’s just too soon.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure!”

“Okay, okay, Mr. Snippy. No need to get your panties in a twist. It just kind of looked like you were thinking of someone.” She grinned mischievously and put a finger to her chin in mock-thought. “In fact, the last time I saw you look like that you were crushing on…” she cut herself off and stared at him with sudden wide-eyes. “You were crushing on someone.”

“I’m not crushing on anyone!” he interjected in a rush.

“You so are! This is how you looked when you were crushing on Miranda and Shelby and…” she stopped herself, her expression pensive. “But you told me about all of those…in fact you always tell me about your crushes! The last time you didn’t you –“ her eyes widened and shot up to look at him. “You were crushing on Cameron!”

“I was never crushing on Cameron! We were just friends who were working on a project together!”

“No, I remember! You were crushing hard, but you were too scared to do anything.” Her mind was filled with memories of Jared, lanky and young at the age of fifteen, calling her after working with Cameron on their science project. There had been a smile in his voice and he had talked about Cameron for hours. Whenever she would bring him up Jared would blush and hide behind his hair which was too shaggy. “It’s a guy. You’re crushing on a guy!” Jared blushed just as prettily now as he did almost a decade earlier. “Oh my god. Oh my god!”

“You don’t understand –“ Jared started.

“When’s the last time you even crushed on a guy? Oh god, who is it? It’s not Mike is it? No, Mike isn’t your type. Please tell me it’s not Misha!” she hurried out.

“If you would just let me –“

“It’s Jensen.” Jared wheeled around.

“What?”

“Jensen. It’s Jensen. Oh that makes so much sense!”

“It does?”

“Absolutely.” She gasped, as though she just had an epiphany, and clasped her hands together. “This is perfect!”

“Are you going to let me talk at all?” Jared asked, exasperated from her enthusiasm.

“Jared, this is so exciting! When the hell did this start?” she continued as though he hadn’t said a word.

“I don’t know…maybe the day I moved in? Maybe later? Maybe earlier? I don’t know! Everything that’s happened these last few months is a blur. And it’s nothing serious,” he added.

“I know you, Jared,” Genevieve started, a knowing smile on her face. “You don’t fall for people often, but when you do, you fall hard.”

“I just…” he started. He stood up and walked over to the window, his hands playing with the cord that opened and closed the blinds. “I mean I noticed right away he was good looking. I think anyone who has ever met him can tell you that. But he’s…not what I expected him to be. I mean here’s this attractive, tattooed and tall masculine guy, but when people praise him he gets all shy. And when he gets a little drunk he has this laugh that makes him toss his head backwards. And when he’s working on a tattoo he concentrates so hard and he sticks his tongue out of the corner of his mouth. And he –“ Jared looked up to find Genevieve’s eyes on him. They were warm and full of amusement. “And maybe it’s a bit more serious than I intended.”

“That’s kind of what it’s sounding like,” she laughed. She then got serious. “I can’t really tell you a lot of Jensen when it comes to his love-life. He’s never been in a relationship since he’s been here in Nelsonville. I don’t know all the details of his past relationships either. But I do know that he was hurt pretty bad; at least that’s what Danneel told me.”

“So that –“

“So that means don’t push him. Don’t rush into things. I know you – you’re passionate and outgoing and sometimes – though you don’t mean to be - overwhelming. If you do anything crazy you’ll only freak him out.” There was another pause. “And besides, I thought you said no more relationships for a while. After –“

“I know, I know,” Jared groaned, cutting her off. “But…this feels different. And it’s not like I can just make these feelings go away.”

“You’re right. Well, if it’s any consolation, I’m super excited! We’ve all been kind of pushing Jensen to go get back in the dating world and you could do with someone like him. I think it could be really great.”

xxx

Sometimes, only sometimes, Jensen really missed Texas. On cold winter mornings he would be reminded of cool Texan nights where it was still tolerable, but colder than non-natives expected from the southern state. When the Indiana-state fair rolled around he would long to go down to the Texas-state fair where everyone wore cowboy boots, Stetsons, and showing horses wasn’t just a hobby, it was a way of life. When Bobbie would make brisket every now and then he would dream of some good Texan brisket, because no one made brisket as well as a Texan. And when his mother called he longed to be back down there in the presence of his family.

Unlike what many people expected, Jensen had no fallout with his family, not really. Most assumed he had as his family was from Texas – one of the most conservative and religious states in the entire United States. But he hadn’t. When he first came out to them as gay there was some initial shock, but that shock quickly wore off, after a few talks that is, and they treated him just as they always had. When he began getting tattoos and made the decision to become a tattoo artist they were completely supportive too.

He never visited because there just never seemed to be a good time to do so. He was busy quite often and when he wasn’t everyone else was. Mac was busy getting her Master’s degree, Josh was raising a family, and Donna and Alan were enjoying retirement by doing as much around town as possible. No, the Ackles didn’t have time to get together except for Christmas and other special occasions.

So when Jensen saw his mother’s name light up on his caller I.D. he immediately answered, yearning to hear her voice. And yes, twenty-seven year old, tattooed Jensen Ackles still called his mom ‘momma.’

“Hey, momma,” he answered as he closed the cash register. He was almost done closing up the shop for the day and everything was set and in order.

“Hi, sweetheart,” came her reply, only it was thick and muffled by tears. He instantly tuned in to the stifled sobbing he could hear from her.

“Momma, what’s wrong?” Jensen immediately asked. He tried to remain calm, in hopes that it would help calm her, but hearing his mother’s sobbing promptly had him shaken. When he got no reply he tried again. “You have to tell me what’s wrong, momma. Why are you crying?”

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” she choked out. “Your grandfather passed away.”

xxx

There’s a lot people have to say about losing a loved one, especially about how one can and should feel when it happens. Some say that you’ll feel shocked for a while, the loss being so fresh and all. Some say you’ll feel numb, your mind not truly registering that the person is gone. Others say that the grief will hit you right away and you’ll feel the loss break something deep within you. Jensen wasn’t sure which of these he felt at the moment, but it seemed to be a mixture of them all.

His ears were still ringing with his mother’s sobbed-out words: ‘…passed away…sudden heart attack…family’s a mess…don’t know what to do…oh, God, why him…funeral is going to be soon…Friday probably…you need to be here…sweetheart, I’m so sorry…he loved you.”

He felt as though his body was running on auto-pilot. He didn’t exactly remember climbing up the staircase and ordering a plane ticket to Dallas online for tomorrow morning, he didn’t remember dragging his suitcases out from the back of his closet, and he didn’t remember stumbling to Misha’s and knocking on the door.

“Hey,” Misha greeted as he opened the front door to his house. He was covered head to toe in food and Jensen, even in his current state, raised an eyebrow. “West and I made dinner,” he said as an explanation. “Have you been crying?” Jensen swiped at his face and felt that it was clammy and wet.

“I guess. I –“ Misha immediately ushered him inside and sat him on the couch.

“Jensen, you’re kind of freaking me out. This is worse than the time you drank four red bulls and thought you tattooed the wrong body part on one of your clients.” Jensen was sure the words came out of his mouth at some point. Misha wouldn’t be sitting there, nodding in understanding, his blue eyes full of sympathy, if Jensen hadn’t said anything. Yet he couldn’t remember really saying the words, he simply remembered nothing. A warm hand landed on his shoulder and he looked up to find Misha staring at him.

“Have you called Danneel yet? Or Chris? Or anyone else here in town?”

“No. My mom just called a while ago. I haven’t gotten the chance quite yet,” Jensen responded.

“You should call Danneel. She’ll know what to do, she knows you and your family better than any of us,” Misha prodded. “I’ll go give Genevieve a call then let her deal with everyone else.” Misha left the room and Jensen briefly heard him call for West and tell him to stop watching television and hop into bed. Numbly he reached down for his own cellphone and placed a call to Danneel. Again, he was certain he had to have said something, but he couldn’t remember it for the life of him. It wasn’t until he heard Danneel’s voice repetitively saying his name that he came out of his reverie.

“Jensen. Jensen! Jensen, are you there?” came Danneel’s worried voice.

“Yeah. Sorry. What did you say?” Jensen asked back.

“I asked if you wanted me to go with you.”

“No, it’s okay, Danni.”

“Jensen,” she started, her tone soft, “I know how much he meant to you.”

“I’ll be okay. I’m heading down tomorrow morning.” Once again he got lost in his own mind. He’s sure he said goodbye to her, but he didn’t remember. Finally Misha walked back in the room.

“I called Genevieve. You’re lucky I managed to convince her not to come over here right now. She said she’ll call everyone and that she’ll get Charlie and Alona to cancel all the appointments for the rest of the week.” There was silence. “Jensen, what else can we do to help?” Misha asked.

“Can you get my mail for the week? And be there on Wednesday around four? I have a shipment of red, yellow, and blue ink coming in and I need someone to get it.” A sigh escaped Misha’s lips and he ran a hand through his short brown hair.

“This is not the time I want to be an ass,” Misha began, “but Jensen, I don’t want to go out of my way to get to your shop every day just for your mail and I can’t be there around four. I do have a job.”

“Right. Sorry.”

“No, no, I –“ he groaned. “Why don’t you ask Jared? He lives right there, your mailboxes are less than a foot from each other’s, and I know he wouldn’t mind checking on your stuff at all.”

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

“I think it is. He won’t bite. Just go knock on the door and ask him.”

xxx

It was ten o’clock at night and Jared was lounging on his couch, watching reruns of shitty crime shows on his television. His feet were propped on his coffee table, a cup of watered-down sweet tea on a coaster, and he longed for his dogs once more. The move to Indiana was sudden and the place just wasn’t set up to have dogs quite yet so when he moved from L.A. to Nelsonville he had to drop his dogs off with his parents who were more than happy to have their animal-grandchildren staying with them.

The ding of his doorbell went off suddenly, startling him out of his thoughts. With a glance at the clock he briefly wondered who was here. It was probably Genevieve, but she had just left a little while ago. He couldn’t think why she would be back already.

“Just a second!” Jared called down the stairs towards the front door. He bounded down, two steps at a time, and flung the door open to the night air. There on his front steps, illuminated by the flickering porch light, was Jensen as Jared had never seen him before. He looked so…lost. His skin looked paler than usual and his green eyes were unfocused, flickering back and forth from the light above to Jared’s face in front in him. “Hi, Jensen,” he greeted slowly.

“Are you going to be here Wednesday at four?” came his abrupt reply. His hands were twitchy by his side and Jared’s eyebrows furrowed together in concern.

“I – yeah, I’ll be here. Why?”

“I have a shipment of ink coming in then. Could you keep it for me until I get back? Also could you check my mail while I’m gone? I have some bills and stuff that I don’t want to risk losing and –“ he was rambling until Jared put a hand on his shoulder, getting his attention focused on Jared’s tall form

“You’re going to have to slow down,” Jared laughed lightly. “I don’t mind getting your mail and I’ll be sure to get your ink in here until you get back. No worries at all.” He saw Jensen let out a sigh of relief. “If you don’t mind me asking though, why are you leaving? Vacation?” Just as soon as the relief had come it was gone and replaced by tension. Jared could see it in the way his shoulders hunched and his eyes cast downwards. “You know, forget I asked. I shouldn’t have anyway, it’s not my place.”

“I’m going to a funeral.” The words came out quickly, just as everything else Jensen had said so far this evening, but Jared could almost hear the break behind them. It got quiet and Jared, for a moment, just watched the man standing on his front porch. For the first time since Jared had met him he looked vulnerable and all Jared could think of was how he could get that look off of his face.

“Would you like a drink? I just bought a new case of beer and a bottle of whiskey,” Jared asked as he opened his door a little wider.

Jensen watched as Jared opened the door to his place and immediately wanted to flee. This was not a good idea. He was emotionally drained right now, he still had to pack his clothes, but a drink sounded so good.

“A whiskey would be great actually,” he replied as he took a deep breath to calm himself. Jared’s smile broadened and he opened his door all the way.

“C’mon in!” Jared said as he turned to go up the stairs. Jensen followed him in and realized that this was the first time he’d been in Jared’s shop since they showed it to him back during his first visit to Nelsonville. Everything was so bright. The lights were off leaving everything shrouded in darkness, but Jensen could make out the vibrant reds, blues, purples, golds, whites, and every other color of the rainbow. There wasn’t a lot of time to look, however, as Jared was practically running up the stairs with energy Jensen just didn’t have. Slowly and surely he followed Jared up the staircase, his legs like weights underneath him, until they entered the home part of the building. Jensen was, to say the least, surprised when he saw the place. Jared was such a boisterous and outgoing person that Jensen automatically assumed his place would be kind of a disaster – like Mike’s, for example. Everything was nearly spotless though. The furniture was rustic, all worn wood with the appearance of being handmade. The walls were a deep green with Texas-stars and a few pictures as decorations. Hardwood floors matched the furniture while the kitchen was all complete in tan cabinetry, white equipment, and deep countertops. It was so earthy.

“Nice place,” Jensen commented briefly.

“Thanks! I’m real happy with the guys Genevieve helped me find and hire. They really pulled everything together for me,” Jared said as he maneuvered his way through his kitchen. “Grab a seat anywhere, I’ll just get us our drinks!” Jensen sat down on the dark couch that was slightly creaking underneath the weight, and stared at the condensation rolling down the glass of sweet tea sitting on the coaster. After a moment he felt the couch dip beside him and he looked up to see two fingers of whiskey waiting for him in Jared’s hands.

“Thanks,” he muttered. He brought the glass to his lips and let the liquid burn its way down his throat. “You didn’t have to do this.”

“I kind of did,” Jared smiled softly. “You really looked like you could use a drink.”

“You could say that,” Jensen muttered. His eyes closed as he swallowed more of his drink and when he opened them again he found hazel eyes boring into his own.

“It’s not my place, I know, but can I just ask if you’re okay?” Jensen was used to his friends asking him if he was okay, but for some reason it sounded different coming from Jared. It sounded innocent and it sounded genuine. Not that his friends weren’t genuine, but…he didn’t know what it was, it was just different.

“I –“ he started. He wanted to say yes, just to avoid any more questions, but something about Jared – maybe what he had just thought a second earlier – made him do otherwise. “No. No, I’m not. But I’ll get through it.” Jared was quiet, allowing Jensen to only say what he wanted to and Jensen found himself continuing to talk. “It was my grandfather. Charles Whitefield.”

“Tell me about him.” Jared said, his gaze intense and at complete attention. Jensen was almost unnerved by the focus Jared was giving him.

“He was an accountant. An accountant of all things. But when he retired he became a pretty good golfer.”

“Yeah? I had a grandfather who loved to golf too. He tried to take me with him one time, but it was just not for me,” Jared interjected.

“Mine took me too. He said that I was far advanced for my age,” Jensen said.

“You were good?”

“No. I threw the clubs, yelled a whole lot, and then proclaimed that I was having fun. He said I was just like him and his friends,” Jensen smiled fondly. He found Jared’s smile reflecting his own, but he was caught up on the flood of memories. “One time he took me to a golf tournament with him. It was a weekend long tournament and we stayed in a super nice inn. Every morning he let me make waffles the way I wanted which was, of course, buried in chocolate chips, whipped cream, syrup, and strawberries. Pretty much as much sugar as I could fit on them. Then we’d hit the course and he’d let me use his big clubs even though they were too big and then we grabbed lunch and…it was seriously just a good weekend.” He stopped himself suddenly and rubbed at the back of his neck in embarrassment. “And I’m rambling. Sorry.”

“No, no! It’s no problem at all,” Jared assured him. “Let me grab you another drink.” He got up quickly and hurried back into the kitchen, pouring another two fingers of whiskey in Jensen’s glass. When he got back he gave Jensen the glass and sat back down a little closer, their knees brushing against one another. “Tell me more about him. I was never close to my grandparents.”

“I wasn’t really either. I mean, I wasn’t any closer to my grandparents than kids are I guess. Not until…” Jensen inhaled sharply, feeling the familiar hot tears burn behind his eyes.

“Until?” Jared prodded lightly.

“It’s emotional family stuff. And I’ve already taken up a lot of your time and drank four fingers worth of your brand-new bottle of whiskey and…I should go. Thank you though,” Jensen rushed again, standing up and dusting the imaginary lent off his pants. A warm hand encased his own, forcing him to look back down at Jared. His hand was slightly callused, warm, and so large that it dwarfed Jensen’s own.

“Hey, I don’t mind emotional family stuff. My mom used to watch soap operas, I can deal with emotional family stuff,” he joked. “Only leave if you want to, but don’t think for a second that you’re bothering me. Cause you’re not. I’d love to hear more about your grandfather.” One look at Jared’s earnest face had him slowly sit back down.

“I really don’t want to bother you though,” Jensen repeated.

“Jensen, seriously. It’s not a big deal. Now, what were you gonna say about your grandfather?”

“I was just…I mean he was always just a grandparent growing up, but when I got older things changed a little bit. You must know how Texas is when it comes to being gay, right?” He wasn’t referring to Jared’s own sexuality at all, just the state as a whole.

“Oh yeah,” Jared drawled out.

“Coming out wasn’t exactly easy. And when I did…god, the look on my parents’ faces. Their faces were everything I dreaded. They were so disappointed.” He laughed mirthlessly at himself and took another drink. “Anyway, I had expected a variety of the worst: getting kicked out, conversion therapy, them completely ignoring everything I told them. Then the weirdest thing happened and we had this “family meeting” with my grandparents of all people. I guess my mom had called her parents, crying and in a frenzy about her son being a sinner, and they said they’d talk to me about it, but wanted the whole family there. They sat us all down, me separate from the rest of my family, and my grandfather told this story about a friend of his in the army. Y’see, my grandfather fought in World War II. The story he told was, actually, a bunch of stories about this guy who was a real hero. I mean this guy saved dozens – no – hundreds of people.”

“That’s cool that your grandfather knew someone like that. But what does that have to do with you?”

“That’s what I was wondering too. But then he got quiet and looked right at my parents and he said, ‘That man, that hero…he was a gay man. And he had to stay quiet to keep from getting hurt or killed.’ Everyone, including me, we just…stared at him. Then he talked again and he said, ‘My grandson can still be successful, can still be a hero, can still be a good man by being exactly who he is.’” There was a pause. “Things changed after that. Like things immediately changed after that.”

“Wow,” Jared breathed. He felt the air in his own chest catch at the words and stayed quiet as he watched those green eyes grow shinier as Jensen spoke. “I can see why he would be so important to you.”

“Yeah…yeah, he was a good man. An even better grandfather.” Those same shiny green eyes found the clock on the wall and he sat his now empty glass on one of the remaining coasters. “I really should go. I still have to pack and I have to drive to the airport early in the morning.”

“Right,” Jared breathed once more, standing up off the couch. He could see the redness building in Jensen’s cheeks and he knew he was once again embarrassed. “Let me just walk you out.”

“You don’t have –“

“It’s just down the stairs, don’t worry.” They slowly made their way back down the staircase and Jensen was again transfixed by just how many colors there were. “Is there anything else I can do while you’re gone, Jensen?” Jared asked when they reached the door.

“No, you’ve done a lot already. Thank you,” Jensen tried a smile.

“I told you, it’s no big deal.”

“This is a big deal though. Look, I haven’t been the best of a welcome committee for you. I’ve actually been somewhat of a jerk,” Jensen admitted. “Yet you’re here listening to all my problems and checking stuff for me while I’m away and…you’re a good guy, Jared.” Jared smiled and put his head down, chestnut hair covering his reddened ears. “I feel a little lighter right now. Talking about him really helped.”

“I’m glad. He sounded like he was a great man. I’m sorry you lost him,” Jared said sincerely.

“Me too.” A car drove past, its headlights making their shadows dance, and Jensen noticed, just briefly, that Jared’s eyes had flecks of gold. “Thank you again. I’d like to repay the favor and have you over for a drink sometime.”

“I’d like that. I’d like it a lot actually,” Jared grinned. They bid one another goodnight and Jensen stumbled up his own staircase to pack his suitcase. The hurt of the loss was obviously still there, but at this moment, he felt okay. Tomorrow didn’t seem near as ominous as it had a few hours earlier and Jensen wondered just how one person could make him feel that way.


	6. Chapter 5

_Some Color_

Chapter 5

_“It’s not just enough to just be with someone. I don’t need to touch them. Not even talk. A feeling passes between you both. You are not alone.” – Marilyn Monroe_

“Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you? I’ll take off work,” Danneel assured over the phone as Jensen sat waiting in one of the rigid seats at the airport.

“I know you would. And I appreciate it, I do, but this is…this is something I need to do on my own,” Jensen breathed.

“If you’re sure,” she trailed. Jensen could tell she was attempting to sound confident for him, but the worry was bleeding through.

“I am. And if anything happens I’ll call you,” Jensen promised.

“You damn well better,” Danneel demanded. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Danni.” An announcement went off, the voice robotic and unfeeling, indicating that all those boarding flight 203 to Dallas should now be at the loading station. “I’ve gotta run. I’ll call you soon.”

“Alright,” she sighed. “Have a safe flight! Remember, I’m always here.” The last part was said quietly and Jensen found himself smiling at his phone despite everything.

“Will do.” They hung up and Jensen grabbed his carry-on and headed to the gate to board his plane. He was absolutely dreading these next few days, but with a heavy heart he hopped on, Nelsonville long behind him for now.

xxx

Four hours and one layover later Jensen was stepping off of the plane and onto good ol’ Texan soil. Josh and Mac were picking him up from the airport and he was excited to see his siblings once again. He had flown back into Dallas a few years ago for Mac’s college graduation, but beyond that he only ever saw them around the holidays. A quick run by the baggage claim allowed him to grab his bags and then he was out the doors, eyes searching for a head of blonde hair and the fond look of his older brother’s face. He didn’t have to look long however, because he heard a squeal echo around the airport. He wasn’t the only one who heard, according to the faces of everyone else around him.

“Jensen!” came the yell. He whipped his head around to find Mac running at him full speed. Without hesitation he dropped his bags and opened his arms. She ran into them, her own arms around his neck, and began talking a million miles a minute. “Oh, I’m so glad you’re here, I’ve missed you so much, seriously seeing you once a year isn’t enough and you need to come home more often –“

“Mac, let him breathe, good Lord,” Josh laughed as he approached at a much more reasonable speed. Mac unwound her arms and threw a glare back at Josh. “C’mere,” Josh demanded and he and Jensen did the stereotypical bro-hug. “How was your flight?”

“It was fine. You know I hate flying, but overall it wasn’t bad.” Jensen picked up his bags again and they all slowly made their way to the parking lot. “How are you guys? How’s my favorite little man doing?” Jensen asked, referring to Josh’s son, Levi.

“Just as great as ever,” Josh laughed. “He’s giving Allison quite the run, but we’re all doing really well…well, as well as circumstances are allowing things to be.”

“Yeah,” Jensen started, his tone serious. He threw his bags into the trunk of the car and waited until they were all situated inside. “How’re mom and dad holding up?”

“Dad’s trying to stay strong, but you can tell he’s a mess. Mom’s not doing well at all. The only time she even attempts to act okay is when Levi’s over at the house. I’m really hoping you being home will help her some,” Mac explained.

“We’ve tried everything, but I’m about out of ideas on how to help her,” said Josh. Jensen sat there, his brother next to him and his sister sitting in the backseat behind them both, and he breathed out a sigh.

“God, I just can’t believe -” he started, but he stopped himself. He could feel the tears prickling behind his eyes and a silence fell over the three of them. “At least he’s not in pain. I know he was unhappy, being hooked up to that oxygen machine all the time.”

“He was ready to go. We just weren’t ready to let him,” Mac agreed. They allowed the silence to befall them once more, but this time it stayed. It was a silence for a life lost.

xxx

Luckily the airport was only a good half an hour from the Ackles’ household so it was not long until they were pulling into the driveway. It was a sensible house. Not too big, but not small either. They hadn’t been able to afford having a super small house with three kids. The garden upfront was in full bloom, Donna having quite the green thumb, and Alan always kept the yard extra tidy. It was the perfect white-picket fence kind of house – one Jensen had, at one point, felt he no longer belonged in with his array of inked skin. Josh put the car in park and cut the engine. He looked at Jensen, an eyebrow raised, and asked him quietly and seriously: “You ready for all of this?” Jensen nodded.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” All three jumped out of the car, Jensen running to the back to grab his stuff, and went in through the garage entrance. Jensen could hear voices in the family room as he sat his bags down by the door. Josh and Mac looked at him and waited so they could all walk in together.

Their mom, dad, Josh’s wife Allison, their son Levi, and their grandmother were in there, all watching Levi play with some of his toys. “We’re back,” Josh announced and everyone turned to look at them.

“Uncle Jensen!” Levi exclaimed. His toys remained on the floor, long forgotten, and he jumped to run into Jensen’s arms. Jensen picked him up easily.

“Hey, buddy! How are ya’?” Jensen asked amiably. He sat Levi down next to his toys.

“I got new toys!”

“That’s awesome, dude! How about you get all your new toys together to show me while I say hi to everyone? That okay?” Levi nodded enthusiastically, excited to show his uncle his new toys, and he ran to the guest room where Donna and Alan kept all of his toys. Jensen turned to Allison, Josh’s wife, and they embraced.

“Ali, you’re looking beautiful as ever,” he smiled and she slapped his arm.

“Oh, stop that, you charmer.” She leaned up and gave him a kiss on the cheek before pulling him into a hug once more. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered into his ear and he pulled back to nod at her with understanding. His dad was next and Jensen put his hand out.

“Old man,” he greeted warmly. Alan smiled, a smile quite similar to Jensen’s own, and clapped his youngest son on the shoulder.

“About time you got here,” Alan lectured. Then he pulled Jensen in for a real hug, not one of those manly-hugs, and clapped him again on the back. “It’s good to have you home.”

“I wish it were for different circumstances,” Jensen muttered into Alan’s shoulder. Alan didn’t say anything just nodded, before he pushed him over to his mother.

“My baby,” Donna began, her voice quivering.

“Hi, momma.” She pulled him down to her and he could immediately could feel her tears soaking through his t-shirt.

“Oh, darlin’, I’m so glad you’re home. So glad,” she cried. Internally lost, Jensen simply wrapped his arms tight around her. He was never good with tears and especially from his mom. She was usually his rock. Donna pulled back and wiped at his now wet shirt. “I’m sorry. Go on, go see your grandmother, I’m fine, sweetheart.” Unsure, he stepped back, putting her an arm’s length away. She faked a smile for him, but he could see the dark circles under her eyes. His grandmother sat on the couch, looking frailer than ever. He sat down next to her and gently put a hand over her own.

“Jensen, sweetheart, you get more and more handsome every time I see you,” she smiled. There were dried tears on her face and Jensen felt his heart ache. His grandparents had been together since their teens. They were that old couple that still held hands, went out to breakfast together every weekend, and were just as in love as in their eighties as they were in their teenage years. Jensen couldn’t imagine losing someone like that. He leaned forward, his body twisted slightly as he hugged her. “He loved you very much, Jensen.” For his part, Jensen had prided himself on the fact that he had held in all of his tears. But those six words opened the floodgates and he could feel the tears start flowing down his cheeks. His grandmother’s hands, gentle and shaky, soothed up and down his back just like when he was a child.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there, but when he pulled back Levi was standing there looking at him with confusion evident on his young face.

“Uncle Jensen, why are you sad?” Levi asked. Jensen quickly wiped at his face and forced a smile.

“It’s nothing, Levi.” He saw the toys in Levi’s hands and he motioned to them. “Are those all your toys?” Levi nodded, but the puzzled look remained on his face.

“Why were you crying? You had to be sad if you were crying.”

“Uncle Jensen is just sad about grandpa,” Allison explained lightly.

“I thought grandpa went with the angels?”

“He did. Uncle Jensen is just sad he won’t see him anymore,” Josh jumped in. Levi looked down, his little mind contemplating, before he handed Jensen his one stuffed bear.

“Take Snickers. He always makes me feel better when I’m sad.” The bear, a cute little thing with brown fur, black eyes, and a red polka-dotted bowtie, was clutched in his little hands, outstretched towards Jensen. Jensen got on his knees on the floor so he was eye level with his nephew.

“Thanks, kiddo. But I’m okay. I think Snickers would want to be with you anyway. You don’t want him to be sad, do you?” Levi shook his head and pulled the bear close to his chest.

“But I don’t want you to be sad,” his little voice mumbled.

“I know.” He didn’t really know what else to say. He didn’t want to upset Levi anymore, but he also couldn’t bring himself to lie to Levi’s face. Allison came in at the right moment, however, and motioned for Levi to come to her.

“There’s ice cream in the kitchen, Levi. Chocolate chip cookie dough – your favorite!” Levi ran over, everything else long forgotten at the mention of ice cream.

“Ice cream!” he cheered. Jensen mouthed a ‘thank you’ at Allison and she nodded in acknowledgment.

Somehow they all ended up in the kitchen. Donna was dishing out ice cream to everyone as they had a half-dozen flavors in the freezer. Jensen leaned up against the kitchen counter, he and his dad shoulder-to-shoulder when Mac came in, just then clicking off her phone.

“Tyler should be here early tomorrow morning,” she announced as she up a bowl of vanilla ice cream.

“Who’s Tyler?” Jensen asked around the mouthful he had.

“Mac’s new boyfriend,” Josh quipped with a roll of his eyes. Rolling eyes must be an Ackles’ thing.

“He’s not “new.” We’ve been dating for ten months,” Mac argued.

“Wait – I was home just five months ago and I’ve never heard of this guy,” said Jensen as he waved his spoon in the air for emphasis.

“That’s because she kept him hidden,” Allison grinned.

“The hell would you do that for?”

“So I wouldn’t have to bring him home for Christmas. I need him to accept my crazy before he has to deal with all of y’all’s crazy,” Mac smirked.

“Oh hush,” their grandmother lectured. “You’ve got a good family here. Anyone would be proud to show them off.”

“You said it, grandma!” Jensen agreed. Mac stuck out her tongue and Jensen stuck his out right back at her.

“Speaking of boyfriends…” Alan trailed.

“When can we expect you to bring one home, Jensen?” Donna quickly jumped in. Jensen didn’t even bother to suppress the groan and he let his head drop back. “We’re not trying to annoy you, sweetheart. I just think it’s about time you brought someone here for me to fawn over.”

“Is now really an appropriate time to start asking questions about my love life? Look, I’ll bring someone home when I’m good and ready to bring someone home.”

“But is there anyone?” Mac interjected.

“No. Right now there is absolutely no one,” Jensen sighed.

“Is there even anyone hot in your town? I mean there’s what? Three-hundred people total?” Mac asked.

“There are five thousand people, actually. And sure, there are some decent looking people,” Jensen said. His group of friends happened to be made of the best looking people in the town, but maybe Jensen was bias. However, Tom had movie-star looks, Misha had blue eyes a person could drown in, and Mike was handsome in a boyish sort of way.

“Yeah,” Josh started with a mischievous smile, “I heard you got a hot new neighbor.” Mac and Allison laughed while everyone else turned to him with wide eyes.

“You have a new neighbor? Why didn’t you tell me?” Donna demanded. “Is he nice? Oh, sweetheart, how wonderful!”

“How the hell do you know that?” Jensen gaped. Mac and Josh shared a look while Allison hid behind her hand, giggling.

“I’m still good friends with Danni and she may have let something slip,” Mac laughed. Jensen muttered a curse under his breath and his grandmother leaned forward from her seat at the table and slapped his arm.

“None of that,” she lectured. Jensen said an apology then glared at Josh and Mac.

“Yes, I have a new neighbor. Yes, mom, he seems like a decent guy. No, I’m not interested.”

“Is he at least hot?” Allison asked. Jensen’s mouth twisted into even more of a glare, but he couldn’t fight the blush that rested hot on his cheeks.

“He is!” Mac said triumphantly, fist-pumping the air.

“You’re all horrible people,” Jensen pointed as he put his empty dish in the sink and ran water in it. “And stop talking about me to Danneel!”

“How else would I keep up with your antics up in Indiana? You never call me, or anyone for that matter. We’ve got to get our news from somewhere.” Her tone was light, but Jensen could sense the accusation behind it all.

“I’m sorry.” He walked over and kissed her on the cheek before turning to the rest of the family. “I’m going to try to do better on the whole communication thing. But you know it was never my strong suite,” Jensen said, as though they needed a reminder. Alan laughed outright.

“We know, son. You went away to camp for lacrosse, back when you were in junior high, and we didn’t hear from you once the whole two weeks,” he told as he stepped forward to where Donna was sitting, his hands resting on her shoulders.

“There was also that time in high school that you and Chris went on a road trip together. Chris ended up calling us to tell us where y’all were, about five days after you left,” Donna smiled.

“I know, I know,” Jensen laughed. Suddenly a yawn escaped and he hid his mouth behind his hand. With a look at the clock, which read just past midnight, he stretched his arms above his head. “I’m gonna head to bed. It’s already after one o’clock back home and we’ve got an early morning tomorrow.”

“Right behind you,” Alan agreed, helping Donna and his own mother stand up. “Let’s all try and get some rest.”

xxx

Mac was the first one up, right around seven, so she could go pick up Tyler from the airport and she whacked Jensen in the head with a pillow.

“C’mon, Jensen! I don’t want to go by myself!” she called at him. He huffed in annoyance and pressed the pillow she threw at him tighter over his head, trying to block her out. “I’ll buy you coffee!” she said sweetly and Jensen slowly inched the pillow down his face, just letting his eyes peer out at her.

“Two coffees,” he muttered gruffly. Mac nodded in agreement and ran out of the room to finish getting ready.

Twenty minutes later Jensen met her out by the car. He was freshly showered and dressed in a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. “You owe me,” he said gruffly as he hopped into the driver’s seat.

“I’m buying you coffee. What more do you want?”

“For you to never wake me up before noon ever again.”

“How have you survived this long?”

“That’s a good question.” They made it a good fifteen minutes down the road when Jensen felt cool fingertips on his arm.

“Was your sleeve complete when you were here in December?” Mac asked, her eyes rapt on the swirling ink going up his arm.

“Yeah. I got it finished just a little over a year ago. I was wearing long sleeves all December though. That’s why you didn’t see it.”

“How many tattoos is that now?”

“I’m at nine,” Jensen said proudly. “I kind of want to do one more, get it at a good, even ten before I stop.”

“Hmmm. Which one is your favorite?” she asked.

“I don’t really have a favorite,” Jensen laughed. “I like them all. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have gotten them permanently etched in my skin.”

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense,” Mac agreed.

“But my first one will always have an important place in my heart,” Jensen said after a minute. “It was my first tattoo so it’s kind of the one that made me fall in love with tattooing and, well, look at me now. I also never would have gotten it without grandpa.”

“I miss him,” Mac said quietly.

“Me too.”

“I’m not ready for Friday,” Mac mumbled.

“I don’t think any of us are.” With an empathetic look, Jensen reached for Mac’s left hand. It was tiny in comparison to his own and she gripped him tight. Their moment was cut short as they pulled into the airport parking lot. Jensen paid the terminal parking valet two dollars for a thirty minute parking pass and parked the car. Mac was quick was to jump out, excitement appearing on her face.

“Hurry up, Jensen!” she bounced up and down, their solemn moment long forgotten.

“You are seriously so impatient.” With a click of a button Jensen locked the car and followed Mac inside.

“Please be nice to Tyler,” Mac pleaded as they stood waiting. “I know you want to be a good, protective big brother, but now is not the time to test him and see if he’s worthy of me. You and Josh can do that later, okay?” Jensen nodded. He wasn’t really in the right mindset to worry about Mac’s boyfriend. But he would keep an eye on him. Any funny business, any at all, and Jensen would have words. For now, however, he only agreed. “That’s him!” Mac gasped suddenly, her hand coming out to grip Jensen’s arm. She was pointing towards one of the younger men coming their way. Tyler was a decent looking guy; he was just a little shorter than Jensen, about 5’10” or so, with short-cropped brown hair and deep brown eyes. He was thin (Jensen wanted to grill the kid a steak) and he smiled brightly when Mac came into his line of vision.

Jensen turned, allowing them to have their moment, and he stared out the wide paneled windows, his mind purposefully blank. He didn’t really want to think of anything at right then. He wasn’t sure how long he stared out, thinking of nothing, but he felt a tap at his shoulder and there stood Mac, her arms looped with Tyler’s.  
“Tyler, this is my brother, Jensen. Jensen, this is Tyler,” she smiled warmly. Tyler stuck a hand out and Jensen grasped it with his own.

“It’s nice to meet you, Tyler,” Jensen said politely.

“You too. I’ve heard a lot about you. I also heard I’d be able to spot you because of the tattoos,” Tyler motioned with a hand.

“Well, it wouldn’t be quite right for a tattoo artist to not have a lot of tattoos,” Jensen smirked.

“Can’t argue with you there!”

xxx

Back home everyone gushed over Mac and her boyfriend, Tyler.

“I just wish we were meeting under different circumstances,” Tyler said as he sat next to Donna on the couch.

“Oh, us as well. But you’re here and we can’t thank you enough for being here for our little Mac,” Donna smiled tearfully. Jensen and Josh were in the kitchen, listening to the conversation as they sipped their beer.

“Give me a break,” Josh muttered.

“Calm down, Josh,” Jensen laughed at his older brother’s protectiveness. “He seems like a good kid.”

“Yeah, that’s what he wants us all to think. We should have all of Mac’s potential boyfriends submit questionnaires so we can approve of them first.”

“It’s 2015, Josh. Mac’s an adult, she can make her own decisions.”

“But she’s our little sister,” Josh enunciated, as though the word sister would jar Jensen’s memory.

“Yeah, and would you get like this if I brought someone home?”

“No.”

“Exactly. Just because she’s a girl doesn’t mean we can treat her any different. He’s a nice kid and Mac’s happy he’s here. Frankly, I’m impressed he’s here. I don’t know if I’d be comfortable meeting the family for the first time at a funeral. That’s an emotional time. He’s braving it out though, for her. Not much more we can ask of him,” Jensen pointed out.

xxx

Jensen called Danneel later that night. True to his nature, he was horrible with communication and hadn’t checked in with Danneel or anyone back home for that matter since the morning he left.

“Hey,” came the soft voice on the other end. “How are you?”

“I’m…okay. Haven’t really had time to dwell on anything quite yet. The family is too busy playing with Levi, drooling over Mac’s new boyfriend, and inquiring about my nonexistent love-life to even give me time to think,” Jensen answered as he fell into his childhood bed.

“What’d you tell them?” she asked, referring to the questions about his love-life.

“That there was no one in my love-life. Not much more was said after that. Now they’re too busy with Mac and Tyler to worry about me.”

“Yeah, she said that Tyler was coming for the funeral. I thought that was pretty sweet,” Danneel commented.

“Speaking of that,” Jensen started accusatorily, “why the hell are you still talking to Mac and why would you mention my, and I quote, “new, hot neighbor”?”

“Nothing bad ever happened between us, not even when you and I broke up. Besides, I’ve known Mac since she was a kid. She’s like a little sister to me so, occasionally, we do check in with one another. And the thing about Jared just happened to slip out. I had just gotten back from visiting you and we started talking about hot guys and Jared got brought up,” Danneel shot back.

“Danni, I told you if you want him, go for it. I just don’t want to hear about it,” he muttered into the receiver, his eyes pointedly focusing on the slightest spot on his ceiling.

“God, you’re the worst. You won’t admit you want him, but you get all jealous if you think someone else does,” she laughed, but it was laced with annoyance. “I don’t want the guy. You do and you need to just say it. It’s not the worst thing in the world, ya’know!”

“Look, I don’t want to talk about Jared right now. You can lecture me about my lack of emotional understanding later, but…not now.” Stress had leaked into his voice, making the last two words tremble and Danneel felt her heart constrict.

“I’m sorry.” There was a beat of silence and Danneel, with everything she knew about Jensen, expected him to hang up the phone, locking all of his emotions inside himself. She was surprised when he spoke up and she was even more surprised by what he said.

“Jared’s a good guy though.”

“Yeah?” came her surprised reply.

“Yeah…yeah, he’s a good guy,” Jensen assured her. Or himself, Danneel couldn’t be certain.

“Good. I’m glad you finally figured that out.”

“Me too.” Silence fell over them once more and Danneel heard Jensen let out a breath. “I should probably go get some sleep. The funeral is tomorrow.”

“Alright.” She wanted to keep him on the line and make sure, the best she could, that he was okay. But she also knew Jensen needed space. Jensen was one of those people who had to work things out in his head and this was one of those things. “I’ll let you go so you can turn in then.”

“G’night, Danni.”

“Night.” With that goodbye Jensen clicked off his phone and fell backwards, his body slightly bouncing on the firm childhood mattress. The air was thick around him and his eyes were heavy with exhaustion. His head turned to look at the clock: 2:36. He had to be up in four hours to begin getting ready for one of the most heart wrenching days of his life. Those heavy eyes blinked and blinked until they finally remained shut. His dreams were visited by a kind smile that enunciated the wrinkles by deep eyes, a gentle touch to his own sob-shaken back, and a soothing voice saying that everything would be alright. And, in his dreams, he believed.

xxx

The morning was eerie for Jensen and he assumed it was for everyone else in the family as well. While the night before supplied them with a shade to hide their sadness behind, the morning light only illuminated the unshed tears in their eyes. Looking out the window Jensen could hardly contain his groan of frustration. The sun was high and bright in the sky, its warmth radiating down to heat the ground below it and Jensen could hear the high twittering of birds up above. This was not supposed to be a day of mourning.

Slowly and meticulously he pulled on the pieces of his suit: pressed, black dress pants, a white button-up, a black blazer, black dress socks and shoes, and a black tie, knotted in a Windsor knot just like his grandfather used to do. There was a gentle knock on his door before it creaked open slightly. With the turn of his head he saw his mother standing in the doorway, dressed in a modest black dress and short-heeled shoes.

“Oh, sweetheart,” she started, her voice thick, “what on earth are you wearing?” Jensen looked down at his attire before looking back at her, questioning.

“What’s wrong with this?” She stepped into the room, closing the door quietly behind her, and went for his duffle bag of clothes.

“You know good and well that your grandfather would want you to dress like yourself, not like what people expect of you,” she lectured as she threw out a pair of black jeans.

“Mom, I’m doing this so I won’t cause any uproar. You know the rest of the family isn’t all too fond of my tattoos and gay lifestyle. ‘That boys a sinner and he’s going straight to hell!’” Jensen mimicked. “The day’s not about me, it’s about grandpa.”

“Your right. It is about your grandpa. And because it’s about him, we should do what he would want and I know that he would want you to be you. So put this on and come grab a cup of coffee.” Laying on his bed were a pair of black jeans, a black belt, normal socks, and his worn pair of black Vans. “Keep on that white button-up and the tie, but roll your sleeves so your Aunt Meredith can see the tattoos. We’ll see how red her face gets with anger and at least have one positive thing to look forward to.” Jensen’s laugh followed her out the door and he quickly changed. He felt so much better once the jeans were up and around his waist and the heavy, hot blazer was off of his shoulders. He also loved looking down and seeing the stark contrast of the dark black ink swirling until it disappeared below the white sleeves of his shirt. After a few minutes of undressing and redressing he stepped out of his room and found his family in the kitchen. Levi was the first to run over to him.

“Look, Uncle Jensen! I’ve got a tie on!” he announced, proudly pointing at the thin black strip of material around his neck. No one expected him to quite understand what was happening right now and, frankly, the innocent distraction was welcome.

“Wow, just like mine! We’re like twins, bud,” Jensen said.

“Dad has one too! And Grandpa!” he almost screamed.

“Shh, darlin’” Allison started. “Come finish your breakfast, okay?” Levi bounded back over to his mom and hopped in the chair to eat his cinnamon-sugared toast, his matching tie long forgotten. Jensen felt a warm hand land on his shoulder and turned to find his dad standing behind him with a cup of coffee. Alan looked smart in his black and white suit, but his eyes were tired and Jensen could practically feel the stress radiating from him. Just over Alan’s shoulder Jensen briefly spotted his grandmother sitting at the table. Her head was cast down, an occasional shaky hand coming up to dab at her eyes with a handkerchief, and his heart clenched once again. Never could he even imagine what she was dealing with at the moment.

“You okay, dad?” he asked quietly as Mac and Tyler stepped in. Mac looked beautiful in a simple black dress shirt and skirt while Tyler was handsome in his matching suit.

“Just tired. But we’ll get through the day and things will start to get better. There are going to be a lot of tears shed first though,” Alan said solemnly. Jensen only nodded, not sure what he could say. Just as soon as Alan stopped talking, however, the doorbell rang and all their heads whipped that way.

“Who would be here right now?” Josh asked as he wiped Levi’s face with a napkin.

“I’ll go see,” Mac announced. She bounded towards the door, her blonde hair swinging. Everyone watched her disappear and heard the distinctive sound of the door unlocking. There were some quiet murmurs back and forth, muffled by the distance between the rest of the family and Mac, before they heard the same distinctive sound of the door closing and locking once more. Mac’s heels clicked as she came back into the kitchen.

In her hands was a giant bouquet of flowers. It was an all-white flowered arrangement, minus the greens from the stems and leaves of course, and prepared beautifully in a stark-white vase, simplistically curved and designed. There had to be over fifty flowers in the vase and Jensen, for a moment, was stunned by just how much this must have cost someone. Flowers were not cheap. Especially not an arrangement of flowers consisting of white roses, carnations, gladiolus, stock, and Oriental white lilies.

“Oh my word,” Jensen’s grandmother breathed from her seat.

“That is beautiful,” Allison agreed in awe.

“Who on earth –“ Donna started, but the moment she opened her mouth Mac began reading from the tiny white card placed within the flowers.

“’To the Ackles. My sincerest condolences. Sending thoughts and prayers your way. Jared Padalecki.’” Mac looked down at the card again before looking at the family with a raised eyebrow. “Any of us know any Padaleckis?” While everyone else shook their heads as a negative Jensen could only gape.

Jared had sent his family flowers.

Jared had sent his family flowers – his family whom Jared didn’t even know. His family who had just faced a loss that affected them all greatly.

Jared sent flowers.

He was so caught up in his own thoughts that it took him a minute to hear Josh calling out to him.

“Jensen, you there?” Josh asked, an eyebrow raised just like their sister’s.

“Ugh, yeah. Sorry. I just –“ he trailed. Honest-to-God he was at a loss of what to say.

“Do you-” Mac started, “do you know this guy?”

“Yeah. It’s my neighbor. Jared.” He was still staring at the flowers with wide eyes.

“Your new neighbor?” Alan repeated.

“Your new, hot neighbor?” Mac almost screeched. Jensen stepped forward and plucked the card out of her hands while she continued to rant. Sure enough it was there in black ink – Jared Padalecki. While staring at the card he felt a weight against him and found his mother holding him tight, a new fresh set of tears flowing down her face.

“How thoughtful!” she cried, reading the card over his shoulder. “The boy doesn’t even know us and yet he sends us the loveliest flowers I’ve ever seen.” Mac sat the flowers on the kitchen table and their grandmother reached out to trail a finger down one of the frail petals.

“Your grandfather would be so honored to have received such a gift from a stranger,” she whispered, the handkerchief going back to dab at her eyes. She then motioned for Jensen to come to her and he did so, his mind still racing. She held his hand in her own and forced him to look at her face. “You tell that young man how much this truly meant to us all.” Jensen nodded.

“I will.” He too touched one of the petals, the texture like silk against his skin, and he felt the tears prickling behind his eyes once more. “I definitely will,” he promised.

Soon there was commotion as they all prepared to go to the funeral home. Before they walked out the door, however, Jensen plucked one of the white roses from the vase and pressed it tight against his palm as they drove to say their goodbyes to his grandfather.

He kept it pressed tight against his palm as the procession drove to the graveyard as well. And when the coffin was lowered he tossed it in.


	7. Chapter 6

_Some Color_

Chapter 6

_“Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets.” – Arthur Miller_

The original plan was for Jensen to fly back to Nelsonville Sunday afternoon, but things kept getting pushed back and he didn’t end up getting there until midday on Monday. After parking his car he stepped out and took in a lungful of Indiana-air. There was a storm coming in soon. Jensen could tell by the static thrumming through the air, the rolling of the clouds, and the moisture gathering all around. It was good to be back.

With a sigh he turned to walk into his place when he spotted Jared through the window of his shop. He was talking to Cindy, the third grade teacher at Nelsonville Elementary. Cindy was an absolute sweetheart. She truly cared about all the kids and she always pushed them to do their best while still letting them be kids. Sometimes Jensen saw her volunteering at the animal hospital over by the college. She helped nurse kittens that had lost their mother, played with the dogs, and didn’t hesitate to deal with any of the other animals that came in. Most often he saw her while at Bobbie’s Diner. Bobbie would fuss over her, telling her that she needed to eat some pie and get some more meat on her, and Cindy would laugh and tell Bobbie that she was watching her figure. Jensen didn’t know why she felt the need to watch her figure though. Cindy was not only a kind, sweet, woman who cared for animals and kids, but she was stunningly gorgeous.

At this moment in time Jensen found himself hating her.

There went his plans for the evening. You see, while in Dallas Jensen had convinced himself of several things. The first was that Jared was a genuine good guy. The second was that Misha (no one tell him or he’ll never let Jensen live it down) was right: he just needed to take this whole Jared-issue and roll with it. It wasn’t going to get him anywhere if he kept pushing the guy away because Jensen couldn’t handle his own emotions. The third and last thing he convinced himself of was that he was going to get back to Nelsonville and take Jared out for drinks. It was the least he could do after Jared got his mail, got his ink safely placed, and sent flowers to his grandfather’s funeral.

Now, however, watching Cindy flip her long dark hair over shoulder and laugh at whatever Jared had just said, Jensen immediately regretted telling himself any of that. Clenching his jaw he dragged his bags back inside and slammed the door behind him. He would thank Jared later.

Would a store-bought card be considered too impersonal?

xxx

Jensen was in the middle of hanging up his suit that he didn’t even wear when he heard something sound from below inside his shop. He stopped moving to still the rustling of clothes when he heard the sound again, only this time it was clear and it was someone yelling for him.

“Jensen? You here?” came Jared’s voice from the bottom of the stairs.

“Ugh, yeah,” Jensen called back hesitantly. “I’m upstairs.” There was silence. “You can come up.” Footsteps sounded immediately and Jensen briefly found himself wondering why Jared took two stairs at a time. He knew the guy was tall, but was that really necessary? His thoughts were cut short when Jared reached the top step and smiled brilliantly. In his arms was a box piled high with envelopes – his ink and mail.

“I saw your car. I didn’t know when you’d get back,” Jared said with a shrug.

“Yeah. Yeah, I was supposed to get back yesterday, but things got kinda crazy and, well, here I am,” Jensen commented as he hung up the last of his clothes. He walked towards Jared and reached for the box. “Thank you, again.”

“No problem. I think the delivery guy was a little suspicious when I went out to meet him. He took one look at me stepping out of a flower shop and doubted that I was getting tattoo ink,” Jared laughed as he handed the box to Jensen. Jensen graciously took it and deposited the mail on his dresser so he could sort through it later. Not wanting to carry the box down the stairs he simply sat it on the ground, deciding that he’d get it at a later time. When he stood back up he found Jared’s eyes on him. His hands were shoved in his pockets, his head down, and strands of hair blocked Jensen from seeing the rest of his face. “Look, Jensen, I hope I didn’t overstep any boundaries,” came his voice. Jensen didn’t have to guess what he was referring to.

“Why’d you send flowers? You didn’t have to do that,” Jensen responded, the gratitude he had felt the moment he first saw the flowers returning.

“I wanted to do something. You didn’t have to tell me those stories about him, but you did. I wanted to reciprocate that somehow. I really do hope I didn’t overstep though. If I did I didn’t mean –“

“No, you didn’t overstep any boundaries at all. My entire family, specifically my grandmother, wanted me to tell you just how touched they all were.” His mind flashed to the look on his grandmother’s face as she told him to tell Jared how much the flowers meant to them all. “My mom took pictures of them actually,” Jensen laughed, also remembering his mother bugging Mac to take a picture of the arrangement and send them to her email.

“Good. I’m glad they liked them.” They stood facing one another and once the silence had lasted some time Jared shifted on his feet and motioned for the door. “Well, I’ll get out of your hair. See ya, Jensen.”

“You have any plans tonight?” Jensen called out as soon as he turned around. Jared turned back, hazel eyes wide, and Jensen continued. Something about Jared just made words rush out. “I still owe you drinks.”

“Jensen, you don’t have to.”

“I kind of do though.”

“No, you don’t owe me anything. You just got back, from a funeral no less, and you need to just rest. I’ll take a raincheck,” Jared pushed. He turned to leave when Jensen called after him.

“How’s Wednesday sound?” Jared spun around and faced him again, a smile firmly in place.

“I’m free at 7.”

“Great. What’s your choice of poison? I’ll stock up,” Jensen said with a gesture towards his almost empty alcohol cabinet which they could see across the room.

“Anything with alcohol is my poison,” came Jared’s reply.

“Alright, I think I can manage that.” There was an empty silence that hung in the room and deciding to end that, Jared shuffled backwards with a little wave as goodbye.

“Well, I’ll let you get unpacked and rested up. And I’ll let Genevieve or whoever know that you’re back if they ask.”

“Great…hey, Jared?” Jensen’s tone had gotten soft and Jared was reminded of the man that he saw on his front porch several nights ago, the one who looked so vulnerable. This time, however, he didn’t look lost.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you. For everything. It really meant a lot to my family…and to me. So thank you,” Jensen managed to choke out. His eyes had gone downward, not able to face Jared directly as he said how he felt, but he could feel those hazel eyes on him.

“You’re welcome,” came Jared’s voice, his tone matching Jensen’s own. “I’ll see ya later, Jensen.” With that he actually left leaving Jensen alone with his half-empty bags at his feet and his fast beating heart in his chest.

xxx

The next morning Jared was outside of his shop watering the flowers in their flowerpots when Genevieve came running up, two iced coffees in hand.

“For you,” she said with a flourish.

“This from Holly’s?” Jared asked as he turned off the hose and reached for the cup outstretched to him.

“Yep. And I used that hazelnut creamer you’re in love with so you’re welcome,” Genevieve smiled.

“I’m not in love with it, I just want to have a steamy affair with it,” Jared confirmed as he took a long drink. “Ahh, that’s good!” Genevieve sat down on the steps of his shop as he picked up the hose again. She took a drink of her own coffee as she watched him finish watering the flowers, whistling as he went.

“You’re in an exceptionally good mood today,” she commented.

“Am I?” Jared asked over his shoulder before he began whistling again.

“Yeah, you are. You’re whistling and kinda glowing a bit. What happened?”

“Nothing happened I’m just in a good mood today, that’s all,” Jared grinned.

“Uh huh,” Genevieve nodded disbelievingly. “Let’s try that again. So what happened?” Jared turned, his smile blinding, and shushed her with a finger to his lips.

“Wait until we get inside, oh impatient one,” he lectured jokingly and Genevieve’s eyebrows lifted comically.

“So something did happen?” she asked quickly.

“Yes, something did happen, but –“

“Jared, you can water your flowers later! C’mon!” Genevieve demanded, jumping up from the stoop. “You have five seconds to get your ass inside!”

“Alright, alright!” Jared laughed. He turned off the hose once more and followed Genevieve as she ran into the shop. The moment they got indoors Genevieve stared at him with wide eyes and an eager smile.

“So?” she prodded.

“I’m trying not to sound too excited or anything, but,” he stopped for a second to breathe and Genevieve was having none of that.

“But!”

“But I’m going over to Jensen’s tomorrow for drinks,” he finished. His grin was blinding and Genevieve immediately copied the expression.

“What? You,” she pointed at Jared, “and Jensen,” she pointed towards Jensen’s building, “are getting drinks?” Jared nodded. “When did this happen? When did you even get him to talk to you?”

“It’s kind of a long story,” Jared shrugged.

“Well I’ve got an hour before work so don’t skimp on any details! I want to know how you got Mr. Grumpy next door to have you over for drinks.” She sat down on his register counter. “Go on.”

“He came over last Monday to ask me if I could check his mail and grab a package that was coming for him Wednesday while he was away at his grandfather’s funeral. When he knocked on the door that night and I opened it…I’ve never seen him like that before, Genevieve. He’s always been so standoffish and reserved.” He gave a mirthless laugh. “He looked like a kid that night. He looked like a lost, little kid. Anyway, I had him in for drinks, he told me a story about his grandpa, and it was just a really good conversation. Well, as good as a conversation could be given his circumstances. One thing led to another and he said he was gonna pay me back by having me over for drinks. We agreed on tomorrow and here I am freaking out about it now.” Genevieve was quiet as she watched him tell his story. When she spoke her tone was disbelieving once more.

“He told you about his grandpa?” she asked.

“Yeah. Why?”

“Jensen never talks about his past. Not really. I think Danni is the only one who really knows anything about his past. Well, her and another one of their old friends – Chris.” She got quiet to let that sit for a moment. “Hmmm.”

“What?”

“Nothing…I just…nothing,” she shook her head. “Ignore me. That’s really fantastic, Jared! But, and no offense, is checking his mail is worthy of having you over for drinks?”

“Excuse you,” Jared started, “it was very difficult to open up another mailbox, balance the multiple envelopes separate from my own, take them into my own house, and remember to give them to him once he got back. It was a job completely worthy of drinks.” There was another pause and Jared turned so his back was to Genevieve. He mumbled something quickly and she strained to hear him.

“What was that?” she asked. He repeated himself, but it was still mumbled and quick. “Jared, speak up!”

“And I may have sent flowers to his family for the funeral so that might have something to do with it,” Jared rushed out quickly. Genevieve’s jaw dropped and she jumped off the register counter.

“Oh my god, Jared! You did not!”

“What? Was that bad?” he cringed. “I didn’t think it was bad. I mean I was worried I maybe overstepped my bounds, but he really seemed grateful and not –“ Jared stuttered.

“No, Jared it wasn’t bad, it was just…” she looked at him with knowing eyes. “You really like him, don’t you?” Jared took a deep breath and ducked his head.

“He’s fascinating, Genevieve. And after that night, getting him to really talk to me, I just…I can see this going somewhere. And I want to see where it goes.” When he looked back up, Genevieve was smiling so wide her cheeks looked like they could split.

“I want to see where it goes, too,” came her voice, the tone fond. “C’mon, I know we just finished our coffees, but I need something after all this excitement!” She grabbed his hand and began to drag him down the stairs. As he was closing the door she turned to him, eyebrows furrowed. “How did you even find out where to send the flowers in Dallas?”

“I, uh, called Danneel. She was pretty helpful,” he confessed. Genevieve just laughed and started walking.

“I bet she was.”

xxx

It was several hours later and Genevieve was just leaving Holly’s Café and heading back home. She and Misha traded off on who closed shop and tonight was Genevieve’s night. After she locked up everything and started walking she got out her cellphone to do what she’d wanted to do all day. There were three rings on the other end before it got picked up and Genevieve could hardly contain her excitement.

“Hello?” came the voice on the other end.

“Hi, Danni,” Genevieve smiled.

“Genevieve!” Danneel laughed. “Ya’know, I was planning on calling you soon,” she said slyly.

“Oh yeah? Were you planning on calling me to talk about two guys that we both know very well getting rather close?”

“That was going to be the very topic of my phone call, actually! It’s like you’re a mind reader!” Danneel joked. They both giggled until Danneel began to speak again. “Seriously, what is going on up there?”

“I have no idea, Danni. But Jared is gone on Jensen. I mean he is completely gone on him,” Genevieve stated, still amazed at how everything had worked out so far.

“Yeah, I kind of guessed that when he called asking about Jensen’s address back in Dallas,” came Danneel’s voice in the same tone. “I didn’t even know what to think when he called me, Genevieve. It’s been a long time since Jensen’s had someone care like that.”

“I know. But, Danni, I’m worried.”

“Why are you worried?”

“I just,” she paused, trying to choose her words correctly. “Jared doesn’t fall for people a lot, but when he does…Danni, he falls hard. And that’s gotten him hurt.”

“I know what you’re trying to say, Genevieve, I do, but hear me out before you freak out. Jensen’s just as gone on Jared.” Genevieve could hear the smile in her voice as she continued to speak. “Jensen had been acting weird ever since Jared moved to Nelsonville. I didn’t make the connection until I came up to visit. I haven’t seen Jensen like that since college, Genevieve. Then Misha started texting me, keeping me up to date on everything. And apparently Jensen’s falling more as time’s gone on and if he told Jared about his grandpa then I completely agree. Jensen also called me at the airport and told me that he really thought Jared was a great guy. I wouldn’t worry, Genevieve.”

“Oh my god,” Genevieve breathed. “Our boys are gonna get together, aren’t they, Danni?”

“I think they are, Genevieve,” Danneel replied. They both burst into fits of giggles and hardly contained their triumphant cheers.

xxx

Jensen saw Alona and Charlie out the door and wrung his hands after it closed behind them. It was 6:30 and Jared was going to be over in thirty minutes. Jensen was tempted to go take a shot of something, anything, just to calm his nerves. He didn’t know why he was getting so worked up over a guy – just a friend – coming over for a drink. A completely platonic situation. Yeah, that was all. If he could just convince himself that it was completely platonic he could get through the night.

With a groan he ran up the stairs to get ready real quick. He got to his closet and scoured the clothes hanging there. There was a pair of jeans that Danneel said made his ass look – no! This was a platonic friend-thing, he did not need to look good. He kept looking over the clothes, debating over the shirts and what pants to wear before he let out another frustrated groan and grabbed the jeans anyway. He wasn’t just wearing them because they made his ass look good. He wasn’t.

As he shimmied out of his current pants he tried jumping around to grab a belt and nearly fell over. He immediately started pulling on the new jeans and slipped on the simple black belt. There was a black button-up laying across his bed along with a basic green Henley across the back of the chair. The button-up, he decided, was trying too hard, but the Henley looked casual. With a run by his mirror he mussed up his hair to how it looked hours earlier in the morning. If he sprayed on a dash of cologne while he was in the bathroom as well, he wouldn’t ever admit it.

A run through the kitchen allowed him to make sure that he had everything stocked; there were two six-packs of beer, a brand new bottle of whiskey, and a new bottle of tequila, just in case anything else sounded good. The living room was spotless and Jensen found himself dreading the last few minutes until Jared got there. He could feel the anxiety constricting his chest. God, this had been a bad idea. He racked his brain trying to figure out why he thought that this was a good idea. He should have had Jared meet him at a bar instead of in his home. It would have been less personal, less intimate if they were somewhere else.

Just then he heard the knock on his door and he nearly jumped out of his skin. With a deep breath he forced himself to calmly go down the stairs and open the door. There stood Jared, his hands shoved in his pockets and a smile on his face. He too was in a pair of jeans, ones that clung to the lean muscles of his thighs, and a dark gray t-shirt (that was definitely obscenely thin).

“Hey,” Jensen greeted breathlessly.

“Hi,” Jared greeted back. A roll of thunder sounded in the distance reminding Jensen of the storm he felt coming in several days earlier. Stepping back out of the doorway, Jensen gave Jared room to come in. “Seems like there’s a bad storm coming in,” Jared said as he followed Jensen upstairs. He almost smacked himself in the head the moment the words were out of his mouth – ‘small talk about the weather was a great way to start to the night’ Jared thought sarcastically.

“Yeah, I’m afraid we’ll end up losing power,” Jensen commented back as he stepped up the last step. “These old building aren’t the best for putting up with storms. We tend to lose power with almost every one that rolls in.”

“Noted,” Jared muttered as he glanced around. He hadn’t really gotten a good look at Jensen’s place before. It was very tidy, but not unlike his own. There was a rustic feel to it all coming from the earthy greens, browns, oranges, and whites. He too had a Texan star on the wall and Jared couldn't suppress his grin when he laid eyes on it. You can take the boys out of Texas, but you can’t take the Texas out of the boys.

“Alright, you can grab a seat wherever. What sounds good to drink? I’ve got beer, whiskey, and I even bought tequila if we start to feel adventurous,” Jensen called over his shoulder as he walked towards his kitchen.

“A whiskey sounds great right now,” Jared answered as he sat down on the couch. Another roll of thunder sounded outside, this one closer, and Jared swore the electricity of the soon-to-come lighting was already between him and Jensen in the room. Just then Jensen’s hand reached over the couch to hand Jared a glass filled with amber-colored liquid. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” Jensen said as he walked around the couch with his own glass of whiskey in hand. He sat opposite of Jared and they were immediately submerged in an awkward silence. Both were sitting there trying to figure out how to start a casual conversation without it sounding boring. Suddenly the first drop of rain hit the roof and was followed by the splattering of the rest of the onslaught of water. Jensen looked out the window, his mouth quirking up at the corners ever so slightly, and Jared noticed.

“What?” Jared asked with a smile of his own. Jensen jumped, taken out of his reverie.

“What?” Jensen repeated.

“What are you smiling about?” Jared asked again. He couldn’t help it, he was curious.

“I just like the rain.” There was a pause and Jensen knew Jared was waiting for him to elaborate. Jared chuckled lowly and leaned back against the couch. “What?” Jensen asked again.

“Nothing!” Another silence followed and both began laughing at the entire situation. “God, this is awkward!”

“It is,” Jensen agreed as he leaned against the back of the couch as well. Jared turned his head to look at him, Jensen’s profile vivid as he stared down at the quickly-emptying glass in his hands.

“It shouldn’t be,” Jared said. Jensen laughed and downed the rest of his whiskey in one gulp. He then stood up and headed back towards the kitchen. When he returned he had the entire bottle of whiskey in hand. With a twist of the lid he poured himself another two fingers and leaned across the couch to top off Jared’s own.

“Maybe if we get good and drunk things will get less awkward,” Jensen joked.

“I don’t know about that,” Jared started, “I tend to get pretty weird when I’m drunk.”

“How do you know that wasn’t my plan all along?”

“What? Your plan all along was to get me good and drunk?”

“Yep. I mean, I knew this storm was coming in so I was going to need some entertainment once the power went out,” Jensen said, taking another drink.

“That’s harsh, Jensen. I mean here I thought that we were finally talking, but it turns out that you only want me here to be your entertainment. That’s a low blow to a guy’s ego.”

“Hmmm,” Jensen started, “maybe you should keep drinking so you forget about those blows to your ego.” Jared laughed outright, his head falling backwards on the back of the couch.

“Alright, I think I’ll take you up on that,” he smiled, tipping the rest of the liquid from his glass in his mouth. Jensen leaned over once more and filled his glass then held his own out to clink them together.

xxx

Jensen didn’t know how long Jared had been there, but he was fully aware of how warm he felt and how fuzzy everything around him was. He was also fully aware of Jared’s body now close to his instead of across the entire couch. It had been a long time since Jensen had had this much fun and watching Jared seemingly having an equally fun time was pretty great. They had learned during this unknown amount of time that they both had older brothers and younger sisters, that Jensen played lacrosse in high school and Jared did not, despite his height, play basketball, that Jensen at one brief moment in time was going to hit the road and start a band with his friend Chris and Jared had no musical talent beyond being able to carry a tune. Pretty much they had talked about anything and everything under the sun.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Jared exclaimed suddenly his hand gripping Jensen’s forearm. “The rain!” The rain had picked up and was now hitting the roof in harsh splashes.

“What about the rain?” Jensen slurred, watching the first – or maybe it was the tenth, he wasn’t certain – flash of lightning bolt across the dark sky.

“Why do’ya like it? You said you liked it,” Jared pointed out.

“Dunno,” Jensen said as he took a swig from the last dregs of whiskey in the bottle. They had stopped using glasses at some point, but Jensen couldn’t quite remember when. “It’s just really…chill.”

“Chill?”

“Yeah! I mean even when it gets kinda crazy, there’s still something,” he paused, trying to think over the haziness of his mind, “refreshing…ya’know?”

“I think so.” Jared reached over Jensen’s body to grab the whiskey bottle and his long hair brushed along the exposed skin covering Jensen’s collar bones. Pulling back, Jared downed the last of the bottle then pouted at it. “All the whiskey is gone.”

“I still got beer,” Jensen said, standing up. He swayed a little on his feet as he started going towards the kitchen. With a surprised yelp at how heavy the six-pack was, Jensen grabbed it and drunkenly made his way back to the living room. He cracked open two of the beers and handed one to Jared. Right at that moment lightning flew across the sky, followed by a large clap of thunder, and the few lights remaining on flickered off, throwing Jensen and Jared into complete darkness. Jared started laughing, the sound louder and even less reserved than usual.

“You weren’t kidding!”

“Nope!” Jensen could only see the outline of Jared’s body in the darkness. Despite all the alcohol in his system he felt his mind sobering up slightly at just how intimate the darkness felt.

“Hey, Jensen?” came Jared’s voice quietly. It sounded as though he too was sobering up.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for having me over for drinks. I’m sorry your entire bottle of whiskey is gone though,” Jared apologized and though he had sounded like he had sobered up some, the words were still slurring together.

“Don’t thank me. This whole thing is me thanking you. If you thank me then I’ll have to thank you again,” he explained.

“You didn’t have to thank me though,” Jared reiterated, leaning forward. Jensen wasn’t certain where he was exactly until he felt a warm hand encase his knee.

“Well, fine. I had you over then just to get you drunk and watch you make a fool of yourself,” Jensen decided.

“I haven’t made as much of a fool of myself as I did the first night I got drunk,” Jared muttered. A tension settled in the already edgy room. Jensen felt his breath catch in his throat, remembering the words that had left Jared’s mouth that night when he was drunk.

“Yeah, you were pretty gone that night.” Another beat. “Do you remember?”

“Remember what?”

“What you said to me that night,” Jensen clarified. He blamed the alcohol for his spurt of bravery…or insanity.

“I remember I said I wanted you to like me. And I meant that. It seemed like you didn’t and you were really the only one here who didn’t,” Jared commented, his voice sincere.

“You remember anything else?” Jensen asked. The hand that was still resting on Jensen’s knee retreated and Jensen hardly stopped himself from chasing the warmth that went with it.

“I do,” came the quiet answer.

“And?” Jensen prodded, unsure why he wanted an answer so badly.

“And I meant that too.” There was a sound as Jared scooted closer on the couch and the warmth that Jensen had wanted to chase was suddenly there again. He could just make out the definition of Jared’s pointed nose and the curve of his jaw. There was lightning again and Jensen saw the flecks of gold in his hazel eyes which were staring intensely into his own for just that quick moment. “I remember everything I said that night and I meant everything too.” Jensen wasn’t sure when he had turned his body to face Jared and he wasn’t sure when their faces had gotten that close, but he could feel Jared’s breath ghosting across the apples of his cheeks. Maybe it was the haziness of the alcohol in their system or just the tension that had been there since Genevieve introduced them all those months ago, but right now the thrum of magnetism in the air had Jensen feeling drunk on more than the alcohol they’d consumed.

One of them moved forward first, but neither could say which one. Their mouths slotted together hotly, hands wandering over each other’s bodies, reaching for anything and everything they could get hold of. Jensen’s hands fisted in his hair as Jared nipped at his lower lip, begging for entrance. Someone moaned and Jensen was surprised to realize that it was torn from his own throat. One of Jensen’s hands moved down to rest on the taller man’s shoulder while the other remained tight on the back of Jared’s head. His mouth opened under Jared’s incessant nips and kisses and the hand cupping Jensen’s jaw slid further back so he could pull Jensen even closer.

At some point they moved from the couch, stumbling backwards and mouths not separating as they made their way and fell on Jensen’s bed. At some point the clothes went from fully on to removed piece by piece until none remained. And at some point the only sounds in the room were drunken moans, gasps, and claps of thunder rolling off in the distance.


	8. Chapter 7

_Some Color_

Chapter 7

_“Anxiety is love's greatest killer. It makes others feel as you might when a drowning man holds on to you. You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you with his panic.” – Anais Nin_

Sunlight came streaming in through the spaces in the blinds and it was shining right into Jared’s face. He blinked groggily and immediately willed down the nausea that happened the moment he came to consciousness. Every single time he woke up with a hangover he wanted to punch himself. As the nausea became controllable he once again opened his eyes, squinting at the onslaught of sunshine hitting his face. He looked for the familiar water stain that he kept meaning to fix and got confused when he couldn’t find it. His mind was still hazy, but he tried to open his eyes all the way just to find the damn thing.

That’s when he felt the warm pressure against his right side. Involuntarily his eyes shot open and the nausea returned full force. Slowly and deliberately he turned his head and swallowed at the sight he found. Jensen’s head was cushioned against his shoulder. Dark, lashes were curled against his freckled cheeks while his mouth was parted just slightly, the puffs of breath ghosting Jared’s skin. He was beautiful and Jared did everything he could to hold down the bile rising in his throat.

Unable to hold anything in any longer Jared slid out of the bed as quickly as his shaky legs would let him. He barely made it to the bathroom before he fell to his knees and emptied his stomach into the toilet. His eyes were stinging as he continued to heave and the events from last night rushed into his mind in bits and pieces. The whiskey was the first thing he remembered. Then he remembered the power going out. Then he remembered the glide of skin-on-skin and how hot the room had felt and he started to heave again.

There was a shuffling sound behind him and he focused his eyes on the approaching figure. Jensen came and leaned up against the doorway rubbing blearily at his face. He was dressed only in a pair of boxier-briefs and Jared realized that this was the first time he had ever caught sight of all of Jensen’s tattoos.

His body was a canvas of swirling, black ink. The sleeve tattoo that Jared was most familiar with, as it peeked out from his sleeves, travelled all the way up his arm until it bled out just before his shoulder led to his neck. It was entirely geometric, made of hard dark lines, softer gray ones, and shapes of all kind. There were letters stretched elegantly across the right side of his ribcage and Jared thought that they made a name, but he couldn’t be certain at the angle he currently was. He could make out the five birds peeking out from the underside of his left arm along and with the black band around his right ankle. Most tauntingly were the shapes peeking out from the waistband of his boxer-briefs, resting on each hipbone.

He was so beautiful and Jared had never hated himself more than he did at that moment.

“You alright?” came Jensen’s voice, gruff from the night’s burn of alcohol and non-use during sleep.

“Yeah, I just…no,” Jared stuttered as he pulled himself to his feet. “No, I’m not alright.” He pushed past Jensen and queasily made his way back to the bedroom and began pulling on his clothes.

“Jared, what’s wrong?” Jensen asked, shielding his eyes from the sun that was still streaming in. Jared pulled his gray t-shirt over his head, the act frizzing his hair, and glanced around looking for his jeans.

“I’m sorry, Jensen,” he muttered as he discovered his jeans behind the standing lamp by the bed. “I’m really sorry, but –“

“Whoa!” Jensen exclaimed as he grabbed Jared’s arm, making him face him. Jensen’s green eyes were wide with confusion as he searched Jared’s face. “What are you apologizing for?”

“This was a mistake.”

The words came out harsher than Jared intended and he saw the barriers go up right in front of him. Nausea returned full force and Jared wanted to back track, he did, but it was too late. Swiftly he pulled his jeans up and buttoned them before he picked up his shoes, not bothering to put them up, and made his way to the door.

“I’m sorry,” came his mumbled goodbye as he ran down the stairs, leaving Jensen perplexed and with a bad aftertaste that wasn’t from the alcohol.

xxx

The door slammed shut and Jared leaned against it, willing his head to stop throbbing and his stomach to calm down. He hadn’t meant to panic, he hadn’t meant to run, but this was…

This wasn’t how things were supposed to go.

He had wanted to take things slow with Jensen. Hell, he had just realized not so long ago that he wanted anything romantic at all with Jensen. And now after one night, a night when Jensen was still emotionally vulnerable and drunk, Jared had to go and screw it up. Jared rushed into something once again and wasn’t that just the story of his life?

Frustrated he let his head fall hard against the door. He could only hope that Jensen would forgive him.

xxx

Last night was a bunch of drunken memories filtering through Jensen’s brain, but he couldn’t for the life of him figure out what he had done wrong.

He was standing in his bedroom, eyes flicking back and forth as he thought, as he racked his brain, for why Jared would run and for why he sounded so regretful.

And suddenly he was in college again and there was Luke and Nick and Drew and they all started to look like Jared and Jensen felt the frustration and the doubt flood his mind and he wondered if, once again, he was used by someone who was in the closet or as an experiment. Once again he wondered if he just wasn’t good enough.

xxx

“Hello?” Genevieve called out as she pushed open the door of Some Color. “Jared, I called you three times this morning and you didn’t answer. Where are you?” The shop was silent, however, and she wandered all around it before she went upstairs to see if he was there. The upstairs was also quiet, but when she pushed open the bedroom door she saw him sitting on the edge of his bed, head in his hands. “There you are. I was coming over to see how last night went,” she trailed, “but I can see you’ve got the hangover to show for it.”

“Yeah,” came his voice muffled from his arms covering his face. Genevieve immediately recognized that tone; it was the same tone he had when he had called her all those months ago.

“Jared, hon, what happened?” Genevieve asked as she sunk down next to him. Her hands ghosted over his shoulder, rubbing in soothing circles. Slowly he brought his head up and Genevieve saw that self-deprecating smile on his face.

“You know how I have a really bad habit of rushing into things? You know how that has ruined pretty much everything for me?”

“I wouldn’t say ruined,” she tried softly.

“Not now, Genevieve,” Jared said. It got quiet as she continued to search his face, but she allowed him to talk on his own. “I slept with him.” Genevieve couldn’t stop her eyes from widening as she took in the information. She hadn’t so much as seen Jensen date in the five years he’d been in Nelsonville and on the first, not even official, date he had already slept with someone.

“What happened, Jared?”

“I went over, we drank - we drank a lot - the power went out, and the rest is a little fuzzy, but I woke up,” he paused to take a deep breath, “and he was right next to me.”

“Did he freak out?”

“No, he –“

“Then it sounds like you two just had a good ol’ drunken time. I don’t know why you’re freaking out.”

“Because, Genevieve!” he exclaimed as he stood up, hands running through his hair. “I rush into everything in my life! I rushed things when I moved to L.A., I rushed things when I put off going to college, I rushed things when I bought a house I couldn’t really afford, and I rushed things with Sandy. And look at all of those things now, Genevieve! I’m out of L.A., I’m trying to save up for college, but that’s a slow process, I’m in debt from buying that house, and Sandy and I are long over. I told myself when I first started to realize I had feelings for Jensen that I’d take it slow because I wanted this to go right and I wanted it to at least have the chance to work out.” He fell back down on the bed and in the same position that Genevieve found him in.

“Jared…Jared, all of that stuff…you were so young when that all happened. You were eighteen when you left home to chase your dreams and your dreams changed. And Sandy wasn’t okay with those dreams changing, Jared. You two were long over before you were actually over, you know that.”

“But that doesn’t change the fact that –“

“You and Jensen need to talk, Jared. I know you have your own issues that you’re dealing with, but,” she laughed mirthlessly, “he’s probably confused as hell right now. He doesn’t know about your problems and you just ran out, no explanation. You need to talk to him.” Jared didn’t respond, he just stared down at his hands. Genevieve continued to rub soothing circles into his shoulders.

xxx

Robbie was one of Jensen’s regular customers. He was a little older, in his mid-thirties, and his entire body was almost completely covered in tattoos. Most were Jensen’s work, except for some of his earlier ones. He stopped going to anyone else the moment he discovered Jensen’s talent. His latest tattoo was a family tree going down his back. The outline of the tree itself was complete. All that was left was the shading and adding in the names.

The moment he walked in Robbie could tell something was off with Jensen. But Jensen plastered on a smile and got to work. Usually Jensen was up to talk, but he was oddly quiet and oddly focused. He was so focused that Robbie was feeling a bit more pain than he was used to.

“You mind easing up there, Jensen?” Robbie asked and he noticed Jensen jump as though he was coming out of some deep thoughts.

“Sorry, Rob.” He eased up a bit, but stayed working diligently.

“You alright?” Robbie asked again after a moment. Jensen’s eyes flicked up to meet his for just a moment before they focused back on the ink marking the skin below his hands.

“’M fine,” he mumbled.

“Uh huh,” Robbie started, “Listen, how about you patch me up and we’ll reschedule?”

“What? No. I told you, I’m fine,” Jensen disagreed.

“Well, how about you wrap me up for me,” Robbie suggested.

“Why?” Jensen asked, suddenly on alert as he pulled back and turned off the tattoo gun. Robbie sat up and motioned for the bandages.

“Because you’re out of it, man. And it’s no problem, really, but I want you in your right mind if you’re going to be etching shit in my skin,” Robbie smiled. “I’m serious, Jensen, it’s fine. I don’t mind rescheduling.”

“Robbie, I-“

“I’m serious, Jensen. You need to go fix whatever’s going on with you before you keep marking up everyone.” Jensen groaned the moment Robbie walked out of the shop and leaned against the counter, arms crossed.

“Robbie’s right, Jensen,” Charlie started as he got up from his own booth. “You’ve been weird today.”

“Really weird,” Alona interjected.

“Maybe you should take a vacation, just for a few days,” Charlie suggested.

“Charlie, I just spent a week in Dallas, I can’t leave again,” Jensen argued.

“You own the shop, Jensen, you can do whatever you want technically,” came Alona’s laugh. “C’mon, Jensen, Charlie and I can run the shop for a few days.”

“She’s right. Go on vacation, get your head straight.”

xxx

Charlie and Alona stayed downstairs while Jensen went upstairs to pack. They were right, he needed to go clear his head. It was still swimming with the events of the night before and he couldn’t decide if he was an inch away from raging out or crying because damn his life. The longer he was up there packing the more anxious he got and soon he was just stuffing clothes and other necessities in a bag as fast as possible. He knew where he was going to go and he just wanted to get there as soon as possible.

xxx

“Alona, where’s Jensen?” Genevieve asked. She had just stepped into the shop with all intentions of talking to Jensen. Though she knew why Jared freaked out she also couldn’t imagine what was going on with Jensen.

“He’s upstairs packing,” Alona smiled as she went through her phone.

“Packing? What for?”

“Charlie and I told him to take a vacation.” She put her phone down and her voice got quiet. “He’s been weird today, Genevieve. I mean Jensen sometimes gets lost in his thoughts, you know how he is, but today…Genevieve, he didn’t even seem like the same person. Think he’s still upset about his grandpa? I mean, I know he’s upset still, but…” she trailed.

“I don’t know,” Genevieve lied. “It’d be understandable.”

xxx

Jensen was truly grateful he could navigate these roads like the back of his hand. He knew for a fact that the drive was precisely fifty-six minutes long. If you asked him what happened during that drive, however, he wouldn’t have been able to tell you. He was so distracted that he wasn’t aware of anything going on around him. All that he was aware of was when he finally pulled up to the familiar house. With a sigh of relief Jensen slid out of the car and slammed the door shut. Quickly he made his way to the front door, knocked, and waited until it finally opened.

“The hell – Jenny, my boy!” was the immediate greeting. In the doorway stood Christian Kane, Jensen’s mentor and one of his oldest friends.

“Hey, Chris,” Jensen tried a smile.

“You bastard, get in here!” Chris pulled him in and straight into a hug and Jensen leaned into Chris’ shorter frame.

After a few more minutes of greeting and getting his things from the car, Jensen was settled inside, Chris already cracking open two beers. “So what the hell brings you here? I mean, I haven’t even heard from you in weeks, maybe months.” The tone was accusatory, but also concerned. Jensen felt guilt in his chest, but it couldn’t over-power the feelings already constricting his chest.

“Yeah, sorry about that. Things have been busy up in my little middle-of-nowhere town.”

“How was everything at the funeral?” Chris’ tone was understanding as he sat down across from Jensen.

“It was good. I mean, as good as a funeral can be. It was a good send-off for him.”

“Good. Your grandpa was a hell of a man.” They both reminisced for a minute. “So what are you doing here?”

“What, you don’t want me here?” Jensen attempted to joke.

“You know better than that. You also know that I know you better than that. So what happened?” Chris lectured. Jensen stared down at his beer before looking up at Chris.

“Look, I appreciate everything, Chris. I mean I appreciate you letting me crash in on you…but can this wait? Just until tomorrow?” Chris glared and adjusted the sleeves of his shirt.

“Fine. But tomorrow you’re fessin’ up.” Jensen nodded and Chris stood up, clapping his hands together. “For now though I wanna see if you still got it,” he laughed. He shuffled his way over and grabbed both of his acoustic guitars, stretching one out for Jensen. Jensen couldn’t fight the grin that broke out on his face. Chris always knew what to do.

xxx

“Rise and shine, Jenny,” Chris yelled in Jensen’s ear the next morning. Jensen groaned and buried his face into the pillows on the couch.

“Stop calling me Jenny, you dick,” Jensen said, the words muffled by the pillow.

“Do you want breakfast or not? Don’t be an asshole or you won’t get any food.” With a sigh Jensen sat up, eyes squinted, and ran a hand through his bed hair.

“Please tell me you have coffee.” A white mug was in front of his face immediately and he reached for it with a grunt.

“Your sleeve looks good,” Chris commented as he walked back to the kitchen. “You just finish that up?” Jensen squinted down at the black ink decorating all the way up his right arm.

“Nah, I got it finished up almost a year ago.”

“Really? See this is what happens when you don’t come see me,” Chris pointed with a spatula.

“It’s a two way street, Chris,” Jensen argued. Slowly he stood up and made his way to the kitchen to help Chris get some plates and drinks. They sat down at the dingy kitchen table and dug into the eggs, biscuits, sausage, and bacon that Chris had whipped together.

“So are you gonna tell me what happened?” Chris asked around a mouthful of bacon.

“You really wanna hear about my love life at,” he looked over at the clock, “at eight o’clock in the morning?”

“Ain’t got nothing better to do,” Chris said around another mouthful.

“Alright. But remember, you asked.” Jensen sucked in a breath, took another drink of coffee, and ducked his head so he didn’t have to look at Chris as he talked. “You know how I kind of suck at the whole relationship thing?”

“Jensen, you sucking at relationships is not a new development, get on with it and stop stalling. Now who is he? And do I have to kill him? And for the love of God, haven’t we come to the conclusion that I have to approve of all your future relationships because you have shitty taste?”

“I’m twenty-seven years old, Chris, you have to let me make my shitty decisions on my own,” Jensen laughed mirthlessly. “And believe me, I’m awesome at shitty decisions so I doubt you supervising would prevent any of them anyway.”

“You aren’t giving me enough credit, Jenny. I am a professional in knocking sense into your thick head. Now get on with it, I don’t have all day to watch you mope around.” Jensen sighed.

“Alright. But remember, you asked.” He began with telling Chris all about the shop next to his being sold, about how Genevieve was friends with the new owner, about the first day Jared came to visit and wow, was he taken with his new too-tall neighbor, about him being a grade-A asshole to Jared, about every little thing leading up to his grandfather passing, about the talk, the flowers, and vaguely about what happened last night. “Then this morning he just ran out, but not before telling me that what had happened was a mistake. So there you go, that’s what you’ve been missing out on the last few months.” Jensen hadn’t looked up the whole time he told Chris the story and, once he was done talking, he hesitantly peered at the man across from him. Chris was leaning back all the way in the chair, his fork still clasped between his hands and scraping lightly against his now-empty plate. He was silent and that worried Jensen, but after a moment he let out a low whistle.

“Sounds like the both of ya have your issues.” He sat his fork down and leaned forward. “I know you like the guy, that much is obvious, but just how much do you really know about him?” Jensen’s eyebrows furrowed together.

“What do you –“ but he cut himself off. He wracked his brain, trying to think of all the things he knew about Jared and, to be perfectly honest, it wasn’t a lot. “Not a whole lot.” Chris laughed and stood up from his seat so he could walk over and clap Jensen on the back.

“Look, Jenny, you’ve got three days to get your shit together. Then you and I are heading up to Nelsonville to patch things up with your boyfriend.”

“He’s not my-“

“That’s the plan, don’t question it. Now finish your breakfast. I got a gig tonight and you need to be ready to sing with me.”


	9. Chapter 8

_Some Color_

Chapter 8

_“The best fights don’t occur between strangers. They occur between friends who trust each other.” – Chuck Palahniuk_

True to his word, Jensen was on the road three days later to head back to Nelsonville. This time, however, Chris was by his side and they were jamming to the radio like they used to in the good ol’ days. Overall Jensen was feeling a bit better about his life, something Chris was always good with getting him to do, but he wasn’t up to seeing Jared when he got back just yet. Or seeing anyone at all if it was avoidable. Well, besides Chris that is.

“So, just run this by me one more time,” Chris said as he turned down the volume on the radio. “Danni came up to see you and neither one of you thought of calling or driving your asses down to see me.”

“That’s correct,” Jensen laughed, signaling his right turn signal. They were less than ten miles away from Nelsonville and he was glad for the conversation to take his mind off of everything. Although he felt better after spending a good few days away, the feeling in the pit of his stomach only grew the closer he got to home.

Chris continued to chat while Jensen drove, rambling about this and that, until a green welcome sign reading “Welcome to Nelsonville! Home of the Bobcats!” came into view.

“Well, look at that,” Chris commented, “we’re finally here in the middle of nowhere.”

“Hey, you’re the one who pointed this town out to me. You’re not allowed to be a dick about it if you pointed it out.” With a chuckle Chris shrugged, neither agreeing nor disagreeing, but he didn’t have time to respond anyway because they were pulling up outside of Sigil. Jensen felt his eyes centering on the store next to his own. A few people were milling in and out of the windowed doors. Jared wasn’t in sight, but Jensen knew he was in there and he was unaware that he was taking deep breaths to calm himself until he felt Chris’ hand gently rest on his arm.

“You know I’m no good at this providing comfort or anything,” Chris started off lowly, “but I’m gonna be here for you every step of the way. I know what you’ve been through and I refuse to see you go through it again, you understand?” Jensen nodded slowly, taking another deep breath, and tried a smile. “Alright. Now get out of this damn car and get in there. I’ll get the bags, you get your ass back to work now!”

“Yes, sir,” Jensen mock-saluted. He stepped out of the truck, looked back one more time at Chris’ stern face, and made his way to the front door of his shop, the bell ringing as he swung open the door. He immediately made eye contact with Charlie and Alona. Charlie was working on someone’s leg, but he smiled up at Jensen when he got in. Alona was less subtle as she bounded around the receptionist’s desk and into his arms.

“You’re back!” He wound his arms around her and rubbed at her shoulder blades.

“Yep. Looks like you handled things around here alright. No fires, Charlie is still alive, so good job,” Jensen joked.

“I appreciate the faith, boss-man,” Charlie called.

“You feeling any better?” Alona asked quietly, staring up at Jensen quizzically.

“I’ll be fine. Thanks, Alona.” He cuffed her lightly on the arm before putting his hands on his hips and looking around the shop. With a sigh he started cleaning up his station, but paused to look up at his employees. “Hey, Alona? Can you call Robbie and tell him I’m ready for him to come back whenever. Oh, and get ready because I’ve got a guest with me and he can get pretty controlling when it comes to this job.”

“If it’s Chris I swear to God,” Charlie started and Jensen couldn’t contain the smirk on his face. Throwing his head back, Charlie groaned and walked away, mumbling about how Chris was a damn control freak and he’d never get any work done now. As if on cue, the bell jingled again and in the threshold stood Chris with an arrogant smile on his lips.

“Who missed me?” he asked, dropping the bags on the floor and putting his hands out to his sides. Charlie rolled his eyes dramatically and got back to work, his client holding back laughter, while Alona did the same thing she did to Jensen and ran into his open arms.

“Oh my god!” she squealed, arms tight around his neck. “Chris, it’s been so long! How are you?” They got to talking, Alona leaning invitingly against the receptionist’s counter while Chris balanced on one elbow, eyes dancing as he threw Jensen a wink before turning all his attention on Alona. Jensen, like Charlie, rolled his eyes, but he did so with a bit of fondness.

“Hey, Alona! Can you make sure that you call Robbie and get him to come in before you get too busy batting your eyelashes?” Alona tinged pink at the ears, but nodded, hand already moving for the black telephone.

xxx

Robbie came back in later that day and Jensen diligently finished up what he was supposed to have done a few days ago.

“This is great, man,” Robbie said as he inspected his back in the mirror. The tree was realistic with all of the branches, bark, and roots and the names were elegantly written, starting with his great-great grandparents at the roots and leading all the way near the top where there were certain spots left blank for when Robbie’s own children had kids. “Seriously, this is unbelievable. It looks even better than I expected.”

“I’m glad,” Jensen said sincerely. He taped the plastic wrap around Robbie’s entire back, reminding him to remove it in a few hours, rang him up at the register, and chatted for just a few more minutes. “Remember to come in any time, dude!” he called out as Robbie was walking out the door.

“Will do,” Robbie laughed. “By the way, it’s nice to see you back in action. Looks like that break did you good.” With that he left, leaving Jensen to ponder if his break really did him any good or not, or if it just made him better at covering for himself.

Shaking his head as though it would clear his thoughts, he pulled up his remaining schedule and glanced down the list.

“Alona,” he called out, once again pulling her away from Chris.

“What’s up?” she asked, bounding over to him.

“Can you try to bump up some of my clients? For the next few days anyway?” he asked, eyes still glued on the list.

“Sure,” Alona agreed slowly, lightly shoving him out from in front of her computer. “Why though?”

“I just want to stay busy,” he answered half-honestly. Alona looked at him with a glint in her eyes that said she didn’t believe him, but she nodded nevertheless.

“You’re the boss.”

“Damn right,” he grinned.

xxx

After that he bound to stay busy. Alona managed to get his schedule completely filled for the next eight work days. He did have to give Charlie a few days off so he could take some of his clients, but it really wasn't that big of a deal, especially to Charlie who was all too excited to get some time off.

“Are you sure, Jensen?” Charlie asked sincerely as he finished cleaning up his station at the end of the day.

“Absolutely! Take the next week off and enjoy yourself. Call up your brother and go fishing or something.”

“If you’re sure,” Charlie still sounded hesitant. Then he looked over at Chris, who was perched in his station and he glowered. “You know what, never mind. I’ll be back when he’s gone.”

“What about me?” Alona asked indigently, arms folded over her chest.

“Well, you’re free to take a week off as well,” Jensen started, “but that college tuition money ain’t gonna earn itself,” he teased. “And what would your mother think about that?” At that, Alona turned back to her computer, muttering about fairness and college and ‘Wow, I can’t believe you pulled the mom card.’

xxx

All in all, Jensen had a good first two days home. Without Charlie in the parlor, Jensen had free reign of all the clients who kept him insanely busy. He had already worked on thirteen tattoos, some works in progress and some one session, and Chris would sit down there with him, alternatingly flirting with Alona and lecturing Jensen on his work.

There had only been one Jared-sighting in those two days as well. Jensen was at the register, looking at his schedule on the computer, when Jared walked past, hands shoved in his pockets and a phone at his ear. He was talking loudly, lips tight in regressed anger, and his free hand was waving wildly in air as though the person on the other end could see. Not once did he look towards Sigil and Jensen couldn’t tell if he was relieved or hurt about it.

Nevertheless, Jensen was doing alright, all things considering. He would work hard throughout the day, then at night he and Chris would head upstairs and strum soothing melodies on their guitars, toss back a few beers, and scream at whatever sports game was on television. Yes, everything was going perfectly fine as far as Jensen was concerned.

So naturally that’s why things had to go straight to hell sooner rather than later.

Jensen’s third day home started like his other two. He got up, refused to go near the kitchen window where he could see Jared come back from his morning run, made a fresh pot of coffee, kicked at Chris’ dangling feet to wake him up, and got ready for the busy day ahead of him. After that he went downstairs, got his station ready, greeted Alona when she walked in, and got to work the moment his first client stepped through the door. Chris joined them later, homemade lunches in hand (yeah, he was a guy who loved to cook and no, he would not wear a “Kiss the Chef” apron, no matter how many times Jensen bought him one), and the three of them sat there munching happily on their meals until the next client made their way through the door. That was how the day was going…until they all heard the loud chatter of two feminine voices grow closer and closer. That’s when the door opened and Danneel and Genevieve ran in, breathless and holding two large travel bags each.

“Danni?” Jensen questioned unbelieving as he turned off the tattoo gun.

“Jensen!” Danneel yelled, dropping the bags to the floor.

“Danni?” Chris repeated Jensen, jumping to his feet.

“Chris!” she yelled again, this time at a full tilt run towards them both. Her arms reached for each one and pulled them tight to her, her head sandwiched in between both of theirs. “What are you doing here?” she asked Chris as she pulled back.

“I could be asking you the same thing, darlin’,” Chris drawled.

“Yeah,” Jensen agreed, “what are you doing here?”

“Well, I’m here because you wouldn’t answer your damn phone and I got a call from Genevieve, saying that some shit went down and you needed me.” Her brown eyes glowered at him pointedly. “So you have about five seconds to march your ass up those stairs and tell me just what the hell is wrong with you and why you won’t ever call me to tell me anything.”

“Danni, I don’t have time right now, okay. I’m working and –“ he started to ramble, but was cut off by Chris of all people.

“I’ll cover for you, man,” he said and he jerked his thumb towards the staircase. “Get up there and talk.”

“You don’t even work here,” Jensen tried to point out.

“Oh really?” Chris began and he sounded insanely offended. “Who exactly taught your ass how to tattoo people in the first place? Was it me? Oh, it was! So guess who is qualified to cover for you? Why, I think that would be me!”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Danneel grinned. “Now move.” Speechless, Jensen slowly made his way to the stairs, throwing Chris a pleading look, but it was ignored and Danneel’s hands were pushing at his back trying to get him to actually walk. He stepped up the stairs, Danneel close at his heels, when he heard another pair of footsteps following them. Whipping his head around he saw Genevieve making her way behind he and Danneel and he stopped.

“Why are you coming, Genevieve?” he asked. Danneel ran into his back, unaware that he had stopped, and rubbed at her nose which had hit him hardest.

“Because she’s the one who called me so she’s allowed to come up,” Danneel answered for her as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. Finally they were all upstairs and Danneel practically forced Jensen to sit down on the couch. “Now, tell me everything.”

“Like what?” Jensen asked exasperatedly.

“Jensen,” Genevieve spoke for the first time, “don’t play dumb, okay. No one just leaves town for three days without telling a soul where they’re going and isn’t dealing with something. Just tell her, you know it will go a lot smoother for us all if you do.”

For some reason, one he couldn’t really put a finger on at the moment, Jensen felt this uncontrollable anger well up inside of him. It felt as though he had been holding everything back with a dam, but suddenly the dam broke. And it wasn’t just a leak, it was a complete destruction and everything he had felt since the moment Jared came to town just clawed its way out of his throat.

“What do you guys want me to say?” he spat, standing up to pace around. “Do you want me to tell you about how Jared came over and we drank too much and woke up in bed together? Do you want me to tell you about how he ran out of here faster than I could ask him what was wrong? Do you want me to tell you about how at that I have never been more confused than I was in that moment?” He was practically yelling by now, overwhelmed by emotions and memories, but he took a calming breath before he continued with a more leveled voice.

“Because I have never been more confused than I was then. All that I knew was that he said what happened was a mistake and that it shouldn’t – no, wouldn’t – happen again.” He paused for another breath, hands on his hips and his back to Genevieve and Danneel, but he quickly continued.

“Do you want me to tell you how scared I was the moment I first saw him? Because I was…actually I was terrified. And you know what else? That me – the one that first met him all those months ago and was scared out of his mind? That me was right. That me was right the whole fucking time and you know what?” He whirled around and jabbed an accusatory finger at Danneel. “I shouldn’t have listened to you. You got all in my head, just like you always do, and I shouldn’t have let it happen. You made it seem like everything would be okay, but guess what, Danni? It’s not all okay!”

“Do not put the blame on me,” Danneel demanded.

“Then who am I supposed to blame? I guess I could blame Jared for moving here in the first place because my life was perfectly fine before he showed up and now-“

“Hey, don’t go blaming Jared either. This is your fault, Jensen. You try to keep everything all to yourself, then all of your issues get the better of you, and you blow up on all of us,” Genevieve lectured.

“It’s not all Jensen’s fault. Jared did have a lot to do with it. But that doesn’t mean you’re innocent, Jensen,” Danneel pointed out. She opened her mouth to continue, but Genevieve beat her to it.

“Wait, wait, wait. What do you mean Jared had a lot to do with it?”

“I meant exactly what I said,” Danneel stated as though it was completely obvious. “Yeah, Jensen needs to acknowledge the fact that he’s emotionally useless,” she paused to stare pointedly at him. “But I mean, what the hell? You can run out on one-night stands that you’re never going to see again, but you can’t just run out after you slept with your next door neighbor that you run in the same friend group with. You don’t do that. Anyone with any courtesy knows that.”

“Really?” Genevieve exclaimed. “You don’t know a damn thing about Jared. He may come across as happy and carefree, but he has his issues too.”

“Oh yeah, like what?” Danneel asked, hands going to her own hips. Jensen, apparently no longer part of this conversation, just stood back and stared at how both women inched closer and closer, eyebrows furrowed together in pent-up anger.

“It’s not my place to say, Danni.”

“Yeah, more like you don’t have anything to say so you’re just going to stay quiet,” Danneel said doubtingly.

“You know what? I’m going to leave,” Genevieve started, running a hand through her dark hair, “because obviously this isn’t going to accomplish anything. But you both need to consider Jared before you flip your shit. You’re not the only one that’s damaged, Jensen.” And with that she was gone, leaving Jensen and Danneel to stand in silence.

xxx

As they trudged down the stairs, lips pursed in unspoken words, Chris and Alona turned to look at them with wide eyes.

“What happened?” Alona asked immediately.

“Genevieve ran out of here like a bat out of hell,” Chris commented. Jensen and Danneel just threw a look at one another and silently agreed to just shrug.

“Something must have come up,” Jensen said flippantly, moving to scoot Chris out of his station. Chris glared as Jensen approached, wearing a look that said, ‘I know damn well that you’re lying,’ but he kept quiet nonetheless. Soon everyone was settling down. Well, everyone except Jensen. He kept shooting Danneel worried looks, confusion evident in his eyes.

As much as he tried to stop the thoughts he simply couldn’t. Yes, he still blamed Jared for his current predicament (i.e. emotional distress from a somewhat developing relationship), but these tendrils of doubt started to curl their way into his brain.

What if Genevieve was right?

What if it was all actually his own fault?

Was he too emotionally untrusting to truly have a real relationship?

Probably.

Those thoughts made the day drag on and it felt like forever before it was time to close up. Alona and Charlie, having long forgotten about the mess earlier, waved their goodbyes and headed out the door, the last jingling of the bell fading out behind them.

“So,” Chris drawled, “what the hell was that all about?”

“What do you think?” Danneel questioned back. “It was about you-know-who and the other you-know-who and all of the you-know-what.”

“But that doesn’t explain Genevieve storming out of here madder than I ever want to see a woman,” Chris shuddered.  
“Guys,” Jensen interrupted, leaning tiredly against the staircase. “I appreciate all the concern, but can we not do this right now?” One look at him was all Danneel and Chris needed to agree. It was almost as though he was being weighed down by an invisible force. His shoulders were slumped, his mouth was drawn tight, and his eyes were drooping as though he was fighting off an oncoming headache.

“You’re right. We’ll do this after we’ve all recharged. Tomorrow,” Danneel planned.

“So until then,” Chris did a mock drum-roll, “we should do what we do best. Drink beer, eat pizza, and pass out on the couch until we wake up regretting it all.” Jensen’s face dropped and Danneel slapped Chris in the back of the head hard enough that his long hair swung in his face for a moment. “Ow! What was that for?”

“Please don’t talk about drinking and waking up with regrets,” she harshly whispered through clenched teeth. Chris winced and nodded quickly.

“Right. My bad.”

But that was actually what they did. Danneel ran upstairs and ordered pizza while Chris ran down to the closest store to buy two six-packs of beer and all three of them fell asleep on the couch…or against it anyway. Chris was in the floor, head lolling to the side, and Danneel and Jensen were on the couch, Danneel’s head heavy on Jensen’s shoulder which was pressed uncomfortably to the armrest.

They would definitely regret it in the morning.


	10. Chapter 9

_Some Color_

Chapter 9

_“Human relations are built on feeling, not on reason or knowledge. And feeling is not an exact science; like all spiritual qualities it has the vagueness of greatness about it.” – Amelia Barr_

While Jensen, Chris, and Danneel were busy stuffing themselves with pizza and beer, Jared was busy hiding away in his bedroom, avoiding his feelings and Genevieve who was pounding ruthlessly on the door.

“Jared, open the damn door!” her muffled voice demanded, her knocking incessant.

“I’m fine,” he called back. He was sitting against his headboard with a rubber ball in hand that he was repeatedly throwing against the ceiling. It was thrown on a consistent beat, the sound echoing in the almost-silence of the room.

“No, you’re not and I have something to tell you, but I’m tired of screaming so open the damn door!” She didn’t stop knocking and finally Jared conceded and groaned as he slipped off the bed. His socked feet padded across the floor until he reached the door and flung it open. Genevieve, whom was still knocking loudly the whole time he crossed over to the door, didn’t stop right away when he opened it, leading her to hit him in the chest a few times.

“Ow!”

“Sorry,” she apologized quickly, pushing past him into the apartment. He shut the door after her and turned to see her pacing across his living room.

“Genevieve,” he began.

“No! Listen up. I’m trying really hard not to blow up on everyone and anyone right now.” She paused. “Danneel is here.”

“What? Why?” Jared asked incredulously.

“Because I called her.”

“And why the hell would you do that?” Jared asked again.

“Because, Jared,” Genevieve started pacing again, “there’s not a person in this town who can get anything through Jensen’s too-thick skull, but she can and someone needed to talk to him in person.”

“You’re really going to drag more people into this? Genevieve, it’s not that big of a deal.”

“Jared, you’re still new here so let me tell you something,” Genevieve said, reaching up to rest her hands on his shoulders. “In small towns like this your friends are really all you’ve got. And if something is going on with one of them, something is going on with all of them.” She got quiet for a moment. “When my parents died I had two constants left in my life: you and my brother. Now my brother has a wife and a kid, which is great, but that means less time he gets to spend with me. And you were all the way in L.A. and both of my constants were gone…until Misha, Tom, Mike, and Jensen filled in. Then you came back into my life again and, for the first time in a long time, everything seemed okay. I’ve loved having you here and everyone else loves you too. But if you and Jensen can’t get through this we’re at the risk of losing one of you and I can’t lose someone…not again. Do you understand?” Jared nodded dumbly, eyes wide as he took in his best friend’s words. It was rare for Genevieve to talk about her parents and bringing them up now showed just how important this was to here.

“Okay…I’ll fix it. I promise, Genevieve, I’ll go fix it.” Unshed tears were shining in her dark eyes and he pulled her close, her face buried deep in his chest. “I’ll fix it as soon as I can. You’re not going to lose anyone, alright?”

xxx

Jensen woke up to the soothing feeling of someone stroking his hair. As he blinked bleary eyes open he saw Danneel sitting next to him on the couch, her hands softly treading the short hairs atop his head. She must have seen the shift in him as she looked down and smiled.

“Morning,” she said quietly, not stopping her ministrations. Chris was still asleep, passed out on the floor. His mouth was hanging open and a trail of drool was pooling onto the floor below.

“G’morning,” Jensen gruffed out. He sat up and leaned against the back of the couch, rubbing at his face. There was a heavy stubble prickling against his hands and he briefly wondered how long it had been since he shaved. Danneel watched him, brown eyes full of concern, and he looked back, eyebrows drawn together. “Hey, Danni?”

“Yeah?”

“I know I asked you last time you were here, but will you go out with me again? I think I want to try my hand at this whole being straight thing one more time,” Jensen explained, lying back down in her lap.

“Oh, baby, you know I would if I thought I stood a chance,” she said gently as she placed a hand on his cheek. Jensen smiled gratefully at her and continued to lie there, listening to the rhythmic sound of her breathing below his ear and the muffled snores from Chris on the floor. After a few moments he stood up and stretched, hands above his head, rumbled gray tee briefly revealing a sliver of pale, freckled skin with black ink etched across it. He sighed and started walking.

“I know you would.” There was a slight clattering sound before he called to her from the kitchen. “You want coffee?”

“I always do.”

xxx

They resumed their seats on the couch, this time Danneel’s long, bare legs stretched across Jensen’s lap, and they both held the warm ceramic mugs close to their chests. With a grin Jensen nudged Danneel with his elbow and motioned to Chris’ still sleeping form.

“Watch this,” he mouthed. Gently setting his coffee cup down he grabbed a throw pillow that was on the couch, closed one eye and stuck his tongue out in concentration, and nailed Chris’ drool-covered face with the pillow. Chris snuffled violently and sat up, long hair a disaster around his face.

“Wha?” he practically yelled in shock. Danneel and Jensen busted out laughing as he wiped his face off with his sleeve. “Not cool,” he pointed accusingly. Jensen continued to laugh, head thrown back against the couch, as Chris stood on shaky legs and made his way to still hot coffee machine.

“So,” Danneel started, hands still wrapped tightly around her mug, “what’s the plan for today?” Jensen shrugged nonchalantly.

“The usual, I guess. Go downstairs, get the shop ready, tattoo some people, then come back up here and drown myself with more alcohol.”

“Ya’know, we’re here so you’ll stop the pity-party, dumbass,” Chris garbled after a swallow of his coffee.

“What Chris means to say,” Danneel glared briefly at the man, “is that what you’re saying is the complete opposite of what you should be doing.”

“So I shouldn’t go to work?” Danneel slapped him none too gently on the leg.

“Don’t be a smartass. You shouldn’t be hiding in your shop, burying yourself in your work, then drink your problems away,” she lectured. Jensen rolled his eyes, definitely his specialty, and pushed her legs off of his lap. Standing up once more he made his way to his room, coffee still in hand.

“Yeah, yeah,” he said dismissively, shutting the door behind him.

“Don’t ‘yeah, yeah’ me, mister! I can still kick your ass!”

xxx

Half an hour later Jensen exited his bedroom, freshly showered and running a hand through his slightly gelled hair.

“Alright, I’m gonna head down and get the shop ready for the day. Think you two can handle yourselves?” he asked as he put his now-empty coffee mug in the sink.

“I think we’ll manage, Jenny,” Chris commented. Flipping Chris off as he left, Jensen trudged down the stairs and into his silent shop. Though he tried to avoid it, he couldn’t help but let his eyes wander to the beginnings of Jared’s shop. The lights were on inside and the flowers out front looked completely arranged, but Jared was nowhere in sight and, for that, Jensen breathed out a sigh of relief.

xxx

The moment Jensen disappeared down the stair Danneel jumped up and bounded towards the bathroom, a bounce in her step.

“What are you doing?” Chris asked around a mouthful of cereal.

“None of your business,” she called, her shirt already tossed off of her torso. Listening as the shower turned on he shrugged to himself and continued to eat. It wasn’t until she emerged from the bathroom, forty minutes later that he got concerned.

“Okay, you’re definitely up to something,” he commented as he took in her appearance. Her hair was brushed, blow-dried, styled in a low ponytail, her makeup was subtle, yet beautiful, and she was dressed in a nice white summer dress.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said innocently. Stopping in front of a mirror on the wall she moved a stray strand of red hair and smiled brilliantly. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I am a woman on a mission.” Not giving him time to reply she practically skipped out the door and down the stairs.

As she reached the bottom of the staircase she caught Jensen’s attention. He was behind the register, adjusting some of the example tattoo drawings, when he saw her.

“Where are you going?” he asked with raised eyebrows.

“I was going to go find Genevieve and apologize for yesterday,” she lied smoothly. “I feel really bad about everything. We just both got a little protective.”

“Good,” he smiled genuinely and Danneel squashed down any guilt she felt knowing he believed her.

“I’ll try to be back for lunch, but if not, don’t worry about it. You and Chris do something, okay?”

“Will do. I’m glad you’re patching things up with Genevieve,” Jensen said.

“Me too.” And with that she walked out the door and turned right, the bell jingling with her departure.

xxx

As soon as she was certain that Jensen believed she had gone towards Holly’s Café to see Genevieve she turned down an alley way and went back behind Sigil to the front of Some Color before slipping inside. Jared was also behind his register and he looked up to greet whomever had just entered.

“Hi, how can –“ he stopped and stared wide-eyed at Danneel’s figure. “Danneel,” he breathed, “what are you doing here?”

“I came to talk to you,” she answered honestly.

“Look, if you’re here to yell at me about everything I-“

“I’m not here to yell, Jared. I seriously just want to talk. Can we? Or can the shop not wait?” Danneel asked earnestly. Frozen, Jared’s eyes flicked back and forth between Danneel and the door of his shop. Finally, after what seemed to be forever, he moved from behind the register to the door where he flipped the “Open” sign to “Closed.”

“Yeah, we can talk…do you want to go upstairs so we can sit?” he fidgeted.

“That’d be nice.” She followed his tall form up the staircase to his living arrangement. He motioned to the couch and she nodded in thanks before daintily sitting down.

“So…” she trailed. Taking another deep breath she finally started to speak. “I’ve only heard about what happened that night from Jensen’s point of view. And, since he’s my best friend, I know that I am totally biased when it comes to things. I know his entire life story and I’ve been part of it since we were fourteen years old. He hasn’t had it easy. Finding himself was a journey in itself, let alone all the bullshit he’s had to endure trying to find a relationship.” She paused. “But Genevieve said that you have your issues too. And as much as I didn’t want to think about it yesterday, I couldn’t help it. So I came over here to explain Jensen’s issues to you. Is it technically my place to say anything? No. But he can get mad at me about it later. Right now I’m just trying to fix…whatever this is.”

“Danneel, you don’t have to do this. If this will make Jensen mad at you I don’t want you to do it,” Jared quickly interjected.

“Jensen can get mad at me all he wants. He’ll understand that I did it solely out of my love for him. Also, he really sucks at staying mad at me. Now, if you’re done with the worrying, can I move on to the “Biography of Jensen Ackles aka How I Became Emotionally Stunted”?”

“Go ahead,” Jared braved a laugh.

“First things first, what exactly has Jensen told you about himself?”

“Not much,” he answered honestly. “He told me about his grandfather and how he was the one that made his family realize it was okay to be gay. As far as deep, emotional stuff that’s about it.”

“Of course it is,” she muttered under her breath. “Okay, I’m going to tell you this as simple as possible. Jensen has had precisely three boyfriends in his twenty-seven years of life and all of those happened after the age of eighteen. First was Nick. Nick was crazy. They had only been dating a month and he was all, “Jensen, come meet my parents,” and “Jensen, let’s get an apartment together,” and Jensen was so freaked out about it all moving so fast. But when he told him Nick became this complete douche and accused Jensen of just using him as an am-I-really-gay experiment. Next was Luke and Luke was even more of an ass than Nick. Luke hadn’t come out yet so everything about their relationship was kept secret. One day Luke was sitting with some friends of his and one of them called Jensen a fag as he walked by. Luke laughed along with his friends, not even bothering to stand up for Jensen. And then there was Drew.”

“Why does that name sound like a curse word when you say it?” Jared asked hesitantly.

“Because it pretty much is. Drew was Jensen’s everything. He was handsome and smart and studying to be a physical therapist – that’s how he and Jensen met in the first place – and, frankly, he seemed perfect. He and Jensen were inseparable for two years and we all, including Jensen, thought that they were endgame. That no one else could ever compare because they were made for one another. Then we all came to find out that Drew was an absolute snob. When Jensen decided that he was going to become a tattoo artist instead of a physical therapist, Drew gave him hell for it. Said that tattooing was a hobby and Jensen needed to do something “real” with his life. Said that Chris was a bad influence and besides, people like Chris weren’t made for real jobs, but Jensen wasn’t like Chris. It was awful. And suddenly Drew wasn’t Jensen’s perfect match and Jensen was left alone and heartbroken and even more lost in this world than before.” Danneel stopped talking to let it all sink in. “Jensen moved here to Nelsonville after Drew. Sort of a fresh-start. And when he moved here he was very closed-off and very particular about the people he let in and especially the people he took interest in, romantically. Genevieve was safe because, well, she’s a girl. Misha and Mike were safe because they’re nutcases. And then there was Tom who I personally think he had a crush on, but he’d never admit it, especially not after he got engaged to his girlfriend. Then you came along and changed everything for him. You changed everything, whether you meant to or not, and then you broke it apart.”

“I didn’t know,” Jared barely whispered after a moment. His eyes were wide, eyebrows furrowed together, and mouth pressed in a thin line.

“I know. But that’s why you can still fix this. If you’re serious about Jensen at all, and god I hope you are, you can still fix this.”

“Do you really think so? I mean, Danneel, after all the shit he’s been through and then for me to run out like that…how?” Jared asked incredulously, long legs now pacing the floor.

“Go over there, explain your own issues, remind him that you had no idea what his past entailed, explain your intentions, and be sincere. Trust me, he may seem rough on the outside, but all he wants is to be loved enough that someone will fight for him. Can you be that person, Jared? Can you fight for him?” Jared nodded. “Good. Because I want you to be that person. And also, I’m pretty certain that I may have to hurt you if you aren’t that person. Just so we’re clear,” she finished with an innocent smile.

xxx

Believing Danneel was with Genevieve patching things up, Jensen continued about his day like normal. Alona came in and Chris eventually joined them all. He tattooed some clients, tried his best to keep Chris from flirting with Alona, and made his way, Chris in tow, to Bobbie’s Diner for lunch. After a few more hours of work, closing time fell upon them and Jensen waved to Alona as they departed.

“Need any help cleaning up, Jenny?” Chris asked as he hopped down from his perch on the front register.

“Nah, I’ll be fine. You could run upstairs and get some drinks ready though,” Jensen suggested with a smile.

“I’ll do better than that. I’ll head up and get a real dinner started.”

“You’re the man,” Jensen called after him as he had already turned to gander up the stairs. Flipping the “Open” sign to “Closed” Jensen cranked up the volume on his stereo and allowed the vibrations from the bass and riff of guitars to fill the air while he cleaned. Letting his head gently bounce to the beat, Jensen lost himself in the music and the act of cleaning. In fact, he was so lost in it all that he didn’t even notice the jingling of the bell above the door. It wasn’t until he saw the slight shadow that he realized someone had entered the shop.

“We’re closed,” he yelled over the music, not bothering to look back.

“I know,” came the equally loud reply and Jensen whipped his head around to see Jared standing there in his threshold. He was hunched over slightly, as though was he burying himself away, and his face was drawn tight with nervousness that was only multiplied by the way he shifted from foot-to-foot.

“Not now, Jared,” Jensen sighed, slamming one of the drawers shut and turning his music down to a respectable volume. “I just closed up shop and I have stuff to do and –“

“Five minutes,” Jared interrupted.

“What?”

“I just need five minutes, okay? Can you give me that? Then I promise I’ll be out of your hair.” Jensen looked around, avoiding those pleading puppy-dog eyes and begging for anything to call for his attention, but when nothing did he only resignedly sighed and turned off the radio all the way.

“Five minutes. But then I have stuff to do.” He tried to put on an air of I-am-not-at-all-affected-by-your-presence by leaning casually against the counter, but if one were to pay attention to the way his hands were fidgeting by his sides they would be able to see a different story.

“Fair enough.” Jared stopped and took a breath, the act puffing out his chest for a moment.

“First you have to promise me something.”

“I don’t have to do anything.”

“Don’t get mad at Danneel.” That made Jensen stop.

“What does Danne-“

“Just promise me.”

“I promise.”

“Okay. Look, Danneel came over and told me,” he paused. “She told me that I fucked up. And she told me about everything that happened to you in the past. She told me about Luke and Nick and Drew and she explained how I came across like I was just one of those assholes.”

“You two had no right –“ Jensen began to yell immediately, hands now shaking at his sides in anger. He could feel heat rise to his face and he wasn’t certain if it was out of fury for Danneel going behind his back or embarrassment of Jared knowing about all of his past heartbreaks.

“Jensen, if she wouldn’t have told me I wouldn’t have ever understood.” Jared braved stepping closer and Jensen didn’t step back. “I’m sorry. I never meant to be like them. I never meant to hurt you by running away like I did. My own issues got the better of me that morning and you ended up paying the price. When I ran out that next morning it was because I thought that right then and there I messed everything up between us. When I moved to Nelsonville I wasn’t just moving here for the hell of it. I was trying to start over, find a new life...kind of like what you did. I left home when I was eighteen years old because I wanted to be a freakin’ actor of all things.” He paused to laugh at himself.

“I didn’t go to college, hell I barely got out of high school, and I was in L.A. on my own. Then I met Sandy.” There was another pause. “And Sandy was my world. Sandy was my Drew. We met through acting. She was an actress, a dancer, and a model and she wasn’t going to date some guy who wasn’t going to be successful like her. She didn’t want to date a doctor or lawyer or anything. But the thing is, after a few years I realized that I didn’t want to be an actor anymore. I wanted to go to school and get a degree. My brother is a doctor, my sister an architect, and I…I was the one who hadn’t even stepped foot in a college. But the longer I put off acting the angrier Sandy got. Looking back at it now, we should’ve been over long before we were actually over. But yet, I proposed and we were gonna get married…then it hit me that I was miserable and if I didn’t do something about it right then I was going to continue to be miserable the rest of my life.” Jared looked like he was far away with his thoughts, back in the past he left behind before visibly shaking himself out of it.

“So I broke things off with Sandy, she got the house, and I was stuck trying to make ends meet so I could have a place to live and go to school. I want to teach college students. I want to teach college students about the world around us and the benefits of it. And I want to not rush things for once in my life because that’s what got me into this mess in the first place. And I want someone that understands that and accepts me for it. I want all those things. When I slept with you that night I woke up and I was so angry at myself because I wasn’t supposed to fall for someone when I got here - I wasn’t. But I did and when I realized it I told myself that I would take it slow. And as usual I messed up and probably ruined everything.”

“Jared –“

“I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. That was the last things I was trying to do, actually. I wanted something serious with you, not a drunken mistake that we both would regret. Yet that’s what I gave you. So for that, I’m sorry.” He waited a moment, taking in Jensen’s unchanging appearance, before he breathed out deeply to calm his still buzzing nerves. “And there’s my five minutes.” Turning to leave Jared could feel his heart beating wildly in his chest and he focused on simply putting one foot in front of the other. But Jensen was fast across the floor, his hand wrapping around Jared’s wrist, and forcing him to twist back around.

“Jared!” Jensen yelled, eyes wide and searching. “Look…I’m not good at this kind of stuff.”

“What kind of stuff?”

“Emotional stuff…I should’ve…” he trailed off before clearing his throat. “I should have been honest with you from the start about a lot of things. If you would’ve known about everything then maybe we wouldn’t be here right now. I don’t know. But I do know-“ He stopped and put his head down so he wouldn’t have to look Jared in the eyes. “I do know that I fell for you hard and fast and that hasn’t happened to me in a long time and I got scared. Because the last time that happened I got hurt. I got hurt bad actually. Then you ran out and I…”

“I’m sorry,” Jared apologized once more, voice hardly above a whisper. Gently he put two fingers under Jensen’s chin to tilt it up towards his own. “But one thing that hasn’t changed through all of this is that I was running out because I was scared too.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“What I’m trying to say is that I want to know if we can give this another try. If we can give us another try. And this time we both go in knowing about each other’s pasts and we stop letting our pasts drive our present lives and we talk. Communication seems to be the greatest issue in every romcom,” Jared laughed.

“Are you calling our lives a romcom?” Jensen raised an eyebrow.

“Our lives are absolutely a romcom. Do you hear how sappy this conversation is right now?” They both started to laugh, the kind of laugh that made them clutch their sides and lean into one another for support. As the laughter slowly began to die they found themselves still leaning against each other, faces only inches apart and eyes half-lidded. “Hey, Jensen,” Jared breathed.

“Yeah?”

“Do you want to give this another try?”

“I’d like that a lot.”

“Okay.” With that Jared pulled backwards and extended a hand out to Jensen. “Hi, my name is Jared Padalecki and I’m your new next door neighbor.” Jensen laughed, but instead of shaking Jared’s hand he wrapped one hand around the nape of his neck, his fingers twisting themselves in the long dark hair, and he pulled him down into a meeting of mouths that was more shared smiles than an actual kiss.

“Hi, Jared Padalecki. I’m your neighbor, Jensen Ackles. Welcome to Nelsonville.”


	11. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys :) So I have been asked to put the dynamics of the sex-scene here before this chapter. This chapter is explicit for sex and has top!Jared/bottom!Jensen. This chapter has no integral information to the story so if you would like to skip it, it wouldn't affect your understanding.

_Some Color_

Chapter 10

_“Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.” – Ann Landers_

*Ten Months Later*

“Jensen!” Misha called as he threw open the door to Sigil. Jensen’s head shot up so he could look from where he was cleaning up his station with a raised eyebrow.

“Seriously, what if I had been tattooing someone and you came in like that? They might have an unplanned line going up their arm or something and then I’d be getting my ass sued,” Jensen lectured.

“Yeah, but you weren’t tattooing anyone so everything is totally fine,” Misha said flippantly.

“What do you want?” Jensen asked, a hand going to his hip.

“You up for guys’ night tonight? Mike brought this local beer from some beer festival in Ohio and we’re gonna get hammered.”

“Can’t,” Jensen said as he tidied up the last few things at his station. “I got plans tonight.”

“Really?” Misha droned. “Can’t you two get out of your honeymoon faze already?” As though he knew they were talking about him, Jared walked in not ten seconds later, all smiles, and Jensen’s face immediately matched. “I guess not,” he muttered to himself.

“Hey,” Jared greeted, hands stuffed in his pockets.

“Hi,” Jensen said back, his eyes flicking towards Misha for just a brief moment. Misha groaned and started for the door, hands in the air.

“I’m leaving, I’m leaving. You two can make-out or do whatever disgusting things you two do. I’m going to go hang out with my fellow bachelors that don’t sloppily make-out with each other…unless they’re drunk, but that’s a whole different story. Have a filthy, kinky night, you two!” he waved. Jensen rolled his eyes, but smiled a smile so wide as he looked up at Jared that his eyes crinkled at the corners.

“Hi,” Jensen said again. His eyes fluttered closed as Jared leaned down, their noses brushing, and placed his lips on Jensen’s own. It was a chaste kiss until Jared pulled back to rest their foreheads together.

“Hi,” he breathed, eyes twinkling. “You ready?” It was then that Jensen noticed Jared was already dressed. It wasn’t anything fancy, but it was a nice red button-down and a pressed pair of khakis. A great contrast to Jensen’s black jeans and hunter-green tee.

“Let me go change and I’ll be down in a minute,” Jensen muttered. It took him just a few minutes to bound up the stairs, change into a (different) pair of black jeans, a black button-down, muse up his hair, and go back. When he came back down the stairs Jared laughed. “What?”

“Nothing! I just…do you have any colors beyond black? I mean really?” he continued to laugh as he gestured to Jensen’s outfit.

“Sorry my outfit isn’t your taste,” Jensen rolled his eyes good naturedly.

“That’s not what I’m saying,” Jared placated. He stepped forward, pulling Jensen tight to his chest.

“Let go of me, you nerd” Jensen fought weakly, trying to push Jared’s arms away.

“Nope,” Jared grinned. Pulling Jensen even closer he nosed at his hair and pressed a kiss to the side of his neck. “You look amazing. Now c’mon, we’ve got to get to dinner so we can go see Chris’ performance.”

“I’m surprised he hasn’t killed you yet,” Jensen laughed, breaking free from Jared’s arms. “Alright, let’s go.”

xxx

As they got back that night they were buzzed with the warmth of alcohol flowing and the adrenaline still in their systems.

“When’s Chris’ next gig?” Jared asked as he unlocked his door.

“Not sure,” Jensen said, leaning into Jared’s shoulder, “but I’ll ask. I’ll also tell him that you’re his biggest fan, I know he’ll get a kick out of that.”

“You don’t tell him anything. As far as he’s concerned I just go because you ask me to.”

“Hmm. Yeah, that’s probably best. I don’t want to inflate his ego any more than it already is,” Jensen agreed. They stumbled through the dark, up the stairs, and finally Jared found the light switch. The air was cool inside, a stark contrast to the humidity of the bar, and Jared sighed as his body was finally eased out of the heat.

“So,” Jared started as he went to change out of his clothes. “Wanna crash and watch really shitty T.V. the rest of the night? Some channel has been doing these reruns of all these old crime shows. They’re hilarious,” he laughed. “I was watching one the other day and it was the definition of a 70’s cop-drama. Very Tom Selleck-esque”. He had already shed his red button-down and was in the process of pulling his undershirt over his head when he felt callused hands slide around his midriff.

“I mean we could do that,” Jensen agreed, burying his head in between Jared’s shoulder blades. Those same hands that were around Jared’s waist inched down to those jutting hipbones and Jared couldn’t stop himself from inhaling at the touch. “Or..”

“Or?” Jared prodded, covering Jensen’s hands with his own.

“Or we could do something a bit more fun.”

“We could,” Jared trailed. “But those reruns, Jensen!”

“Fine,” Jensen said immediately as he pulled his hands away. He started walking to the living room when Jared wrapped his hands around his wrists and pulled him flesh against his body.

“No, no, no,” Jared muttered as he leaned down. His pupils had already dilated, a perfect match of Jensen’s own, and were heavily lidded as he looked down at Jensen’s upturned face. There was the faintest tinge of red on his cheeks from the alcohol they had drank which made his freckles stand out. He was staring up at Jared through his thick lashes and a knowing smirk was on his lips. “This definitely beats my idea.”

“Yeah?”

“Absolutely.” He let go of Jensen’s wrists before trailing them to the first button of his black shirt. Meticulously he unbuttoned each one with his dexterous fingers, not breaking eye contact. Jensen shivered in his arms when Jared pushed it off his shoulders. Then those hands went back down to the hem of his undershirt and pulled it up, the act spiking up his light brown hair. Next went the belt which he slid off as Jensen toed off his shoes.

“Am I the only one getting naked?” Jensen asked breathlessly as the button of his pants was undone.

“Right now you are.” Jensen stepped out of his jeans as they pooled to the floor and Jared stepped backwards to take everything in. There Jensen stood in nothing but a pair of black boxer-briefs and the ink decorating his skin. “Turn around,” Jared demanded. If Jensen’s pupils could get any bigger they would have. He did as Jared said and turned around, waiting. The sound of Jared’s footsteps were the only indication Jensen had that Jared was going to do anything. Suddenly he felt the tips of Jared’s long fingers tracing the cross tattoo in the center of his back.

“What are you doing?” Jensen choked out.

“Admiring the artwork.” Those fingers continued to trace the intricate black lines etched into Jensen’s pale freckled skin. His ministrations raised that flesh into goosebumps and Jensen shivered in his arms again. “C’mon,” Jared muttered, turning Jensen around. He pulled him close to kiss him again and lead them to the edge of the bed. Their mouths slid hotly together, Jensen’s hands curving around the sharp corner of Jared’s jaw until he fell backwards against the soft, dark blue sheets. Before he could settle Jared was straddling his lap with his khaki-clad legs on either side.

“What are you doing?” Jensen laughed this time.

“I already told you,” Jared grinned down at him, “I’m admiring the artwork.” This time his eyes focused on the tattoos at the top of his body, starting with the five birds on the inside of his left arm. “So this was your first tattoo?” he whispered reverently.

“Yeah…I was eighteen, just realized I was way more into guys, and wanted to express my newfound freedom.”

“And what about this one?” Jared asked, fingers moving to the geometric sleeve tattoo reaching all the way from his shoulder to his wrist.

“I thought it looked cool,” Jensen smiled up at him, eyes flicking over to where Jared’s fingers twisted down and down his arm in nonsensical lines. From there his hands found the name, Joshua, etched into the right side of his ribcage.

“This was your friend, right?” Jared asked, sobering up. It wasn’t long ago that Jensen had told him the story of his friend whom died in a car crash all those years ago. Their entire friend-group from high school got his name tattooed somewhere on themselves to commemorate their friendship and his life. Jensen only nodded, watching as those fingers drifted down to the spot right below his pectorals. It was Jared’s turn to smile.

“I love this one.” It was the outline of a city, all lines and designs and one of the first pieces Jensen designed purely by himself. “But these,” he trailed, putting both of his hands on Jensen’s hipbones, the ones covered with arrows on each one, “these are hot.”

“You think so?”

“Well, I think it’s more like their placement that’s hot. And the knowledge that I’m the first and only person to be able to do this,” he grinned evilly, moving down the bed so he could lean down and kiss the skin.

“Jay,” Jensen gasped, trying his hardest to keep from bucking up to the warmth.

“Shhhh, you have to let me finish admiring,” Jared admonished. He quickly kissed the other hip before his hands skirted over the fabric of Jensen’s now far too-tight boxer-briefs and landed on the silhouette of Texas on his right thigh.

“Jay, please, do something,” Jensen pleaded, clenching his eyes shut.

“I’m almost done. Patience is a virtue, Jensen,” Jared said wickedly. “Now lastly…” he smirked, allowing his hands to trail all the way down Jensen’s long bowed legs before they reached his left ankle that was decorated with a thin band of black ink. He dragged a fingernail across the skin there and Jensen’s leg immediately erupted with gooseflesh again.

“Jay, seriously!” Jensen had sat up on his elbows, eyes so dark Jared wasn’t certain that there was any green left.

“Okay, okay!” And with that he took Jensen’s ankle and pressed a simple kiss to the band…before he slowly and deliberately started moving up his body, letting his mouth lead the way. First it found the sensitive underside of Jensen’s knee and grinned as he watched Jensen’s hands grip the sheets. From there he continued to move up, this time sucking on Jensen’s inner thighs, leaving reddened flesh that would later be purpled hickeys. He kissed the arrows once more before tracing the city skyline with the tip of his tongue and trailing one hand up Jensen’s sleeved arm before kissing the inside of his left arm five time, a kiss for each bird. Finally he reached his mouth and Jensen was already panting.

“Jared, I swear,” Jensen choked out, pulling Jared roughly by his neck into a scorching kiss. Plush lips pulled Jared’s bottom lip between them and bit down before soothing the sting. He commanded entrance then, sliding his tongue into Jared’s mouth. He tried to flip them, pushing at Jared’s shoulders with his hands, but Jared didn’t budge and he pulled back, chest heaving.

“Nope. Not gonna happen. Tonight’s my show,” he smiled. With that he completely bypassed Jensen’s mouth and went straight for his chest, taking one nipple into his too-hot mouth. Jensen groaned and threaded his fingers through Jared’s long hair and gasped out once more as Jared rolled the other one with two fingers. He laved at the one in his mouth, biting down on it none too gently, just to hear the sounds Jensen would make. As he pulled off, taking in the sight Jensen made below him, he grinned wickedly. Jensen was a disheveled mess. A flush had taken over his body, his chest was heaving wildly, his mouth was dropped open with quiet gasps, and his cock was straining against the black fabric.

Standing up off the bed, Jared methodically undid his belt, watching as Jensen’s eyes shot open at the sound, before he repeated the process with the button of his pants. Jensen watched with interest as they fell to the floor, leaving Jared in the same state as Jensen – in a pair of boxer-briefs with his cock almost visible through the white briefs, already wet with precome.

“Turn over,” Jared demanded again. He watched with delight as Jensen sucked in a quick breath of anticipation, turning over on his stomach. Reaching with both of his hands Jared slipped his fingers into the tight band of Jensen’s briefs before quickly pulling it down and throwing it somewhere to the side, revealing that perfect ass covered in a light spattering of freckles. Jared waited for a moment, letting Jensen get more and more anxious, until he finally sat back down on the bed. Jensen’s breath caught as he felt the bed dip and he suddenly let out a cry as Jared’s large hand smacked down on his ass.

“Shhhh,” Jared said gently, rubbing at the already reddening area. He soothed the pain away before he grabbed each cheek in his hand and leaned forward, without warning, to press a kiss right on Jensen’s hole. Jensen says something, but Jared doesn’t register what because he’s too busy pulling those perfect cheeks apart and diving right in, tongue tracing the rim. His own cock was leaking in his boxer-briefs, but that wasn’t his concern at the moment. Forcing the tip of his tongue inside he heard Jensen yell, his ass clenching around intrusion, and Jared moaned at the taste that was all Jensen.

“Fuck, Jared,” Jensen moaned, his back curving as he tried to push back against the feeling. Using one hand Jared pushed at Jensen’s knees until his legs were even further apart and pulled Jensen even closer, his tongue flat against the pulsing opening before pushing back in. “Jay, I need – fuck! – Jay, I need more!”

“What do you need, Jen?” Jared asked breathlessly as he pulled away, eyes focused on the saliva-wet trail all on his ass.

“I need you inside of me. Fuck, Jay, I need you inside of me now!” There was a pause. “I know you need inside of me too. I know you’re harder than nails right now. Don’t you want to get inside of me? Get yourself some relief?” Jensen panted and the tone of his voice had changed from desperate to mischievous. Jared groaned at the words, one hand going down to squeeze at the base of his cock.

“Jesus Christ, Jensen,” he hissed between his teeth. With strong hands he flipped Jensen over once more, taking in the knowing expression on his face. “You’re evil,” Jared concluded. His fingers fell into his own waistband before he pulled down his white boxer-briefs, revealing his engorged cock, the head red and angry. Quickly he reached for lube as Jensen’s hands shuffled inside of the nightstand drawer and pulled out a condom. “You’re like sin personified and I just can’t say no to you,” Jared practically whispered as he coated his fingers with lube and brought them to Jensen’s entrance. Jensen smiled deviously as he pulled off the wrapper with his teeth and sat up on his elbows to roll the condom down Jared’s shaft himself.

“Do you really want to say no to me though?” Jensen asked rhetorically. Jared leaned down close to his face as he lined himself up and muttered right against his kiss-swollen lips.

“Absolutely not.” With that he thrust all the way in with one thrust, swallowing Jensen’s cry with his mouth. He was all worked-up and went fast and hard, his hips pistoning in and out of Jensen’s hot and tight hole. Sweat beaded at his forehead as he moved Jensen’s legs to his shoulders, changing the angle of his thrusts. He knew he made the right decision when Jensen’s eyes shot wide and a primal gasp left his throat.

“Oh fuck!” Jensen screamed, hands twisting in the sheets, almost ripping them apart. “Fuck, I’m so close already.”

“Are you?” Jared panted. “Are you close because of how I ate you out? Or is it because of how good I’m fucking you right now?”

“Both! Both, Jay. God, harder please!” Jensen begged, all demands that he previously was throwing out long gone. “Fuck me harder!”  
“Good god,” Jared gasped, feeling Jensen clench around him. “Come for me, Jen. You can come for me.” As though a switch was flipped Jensen arched up beautifully and he came, his cock spurting hotly between both of their bodies. When he came he gripped even tighter around Jared, like a vice, and his thrusts became erratic, just trying to reach their climax. Just as Jensen stopped orgasming, Jared began and his hips shuttered as lighting ran through his body. He gave a few slower, languid thrusts, until Jensen’s hands gently fell to his shoulders and pulled him down.

They fell back against the sheets, heads pressed next to each other on the same pillow, panting with the exertion, and sweat rapidly cooling on their bodies. After a moment, Jensen looked over at Jared whose chest was still heaving and he glanced up and down the long lines of his body.

“So you seemed really into my tattoos tonight,” Jensen breathed out. Jared turned his head and smiled a lazy smile, one that made his sunflower eyes twinkle. He reached for Jensen’s right hand with his left before pulling Jensen’s arm across his body. There he started tracing the lines once more on his chest once more.

“I’m always really into your tattoos, Jen.” The only sound in the room was the sound of their breathing and Jensen watched, almost hypnotized, the way in which Jared’s fingers lightly, almost hypnotically, ghosted over his tattooed skin.

“You ever thought of getting one?” he asked into the quiet. Jared stopped what he was doing and looked up, startled.

“Me get a tattoo?” he asked back. Jensen nodded simply, eyes never leaving Jared’s face, and he waited earnestly. Jared, for his part, began to laugh and press his giggling face into Jensen’s shoulder. Once he calmed down he pressed a kiss there and pulled back, dark hair in his eyes. “Yeah, maybe. Maybe you’ll be the one to give it to me.” Jensen hmmed and raised an eyebrow, a knowing smile on his face.

“Yeah, maybe. It’d be fun. I could design it especially for you.”

“Aww, you’d do that for little ol’ me?” Jared drawled out. Jensen only laughed and shoved at Jared’s head on his shoulder.

“You’re a nerd.”

A silence fell over the room as they began to drift off to sleep, heads still pressed to one another, when Jensen spoke up.

“Hey, Jay?” he asked, voice already slurring with impending sleep.

“Yeah?” Jared too asked, voice matching Jensen’s own.

“I love you.” Though those hazel eyes were still closed Jensen was lucky enough to watch a smile break and carve those dimples into his face.

“Jen?” he questioned. If Jensen wasn’t looking at him he was certain he could hear the smile in his tone.

“Yeah?”

“I love you, too.”


	12. Epilogue

_Some Color_

Epilogue

_“Wear your heart on your skin in this life.” – Sylvia Plath_

*Five Years Later*

“Okay, if you’re going to do this you need to calm down, Jared,” Jensen sighed. In his chair was Jared, lying all the back and surrounded by everyone – Genevieve, Danneel, Chad, Chris, Tom, Mike, and Misha.

“You know he doesn’t know how to calm down,” Genevieve laughed.

“Hey, just a question,” Misha interjected, “what are your students going to think when they realize that they’ve got a tattooed professor?”

“I’d be jealous if I had a tattooed professor because, damn, why is my professor cooler than me?” Danneel answered for him.

“Well yeah, they’d think that until they actually met Jared and then they’d be like, never mind, this guy’s a fucking dweeb,”’ Chad rolled his eyes.

“Thanks, Chad,” Jared smiled sarcastically. “You know, Jen, we could just wait to do this another day…”

“Nope, not this time. You’ve chickened out four times now and I’m not letting you do it again. Now shirt off, let’s go,” Jensen demanded, motioning with his hands for Jared to sit up.

“Wonder how many times he’s said that to Jared?” Mike muttered behind his hand. Jared sat up and pulled his light blue t-shirt off from the neck, revealing those miles of tan skin Jensen had come to know so well.

“Whoo!” Genevieve cheered as Danneel catcalled and whistled.

“This is ridiculous. How are the two gay guys getting all the attention from the women? Pissed,” Chad pouted, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Hey, is that a hickey on your hipbone?” Tom asked. He was pointing to the dark purpling mark on the point of Jared’s left hip and both Jensen and Jared had the decency to blush.

“Really?” Mike asked incredulously with wide eyes.

“Wow, Jensen, I’m proud,” Danneel laughed, looking appraisingly at the mark. “And he has Saxx underwear. I am very, very proud, Jensen,” she winked this time.

“Alright, alright. Can you all be quiet so I can work?” Jensen asked. The tone of his voice sounded annoyed, but everyone knew it was because he was embarrassed. Everyone quieted down, taking seats to get comfortable to watch the show as Jensen began the process.

First he cleaned the area with rubbing alcohol before taking a razor and gently dragging it across the skin of Jared’s left pectoral. Then he made sure the entire area was dry before placing the transparent transfer paper atop it. Gently he peeled the paper back until the only thing left was the outline of the drawing on the taut skin.

“This is your last chance to back out if you don’t want this,” Jensen said as he reached for the gloves and his tattoo gun. Jared took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, shaking his hands at his sides.

“Nope, I’m good. I’m good, I’m good, I’m good. Let’s do it.”

“Okay.” And with that Jensen started up the gun and brought it to the edge of the outline. Jared sucked in a quick breath at the initial pain, but eased up after a moment.

“This isn’t so bad,” he kind of giggled. Chris and Jensen exchanged looks and began to laugh a bit.

“Oh, buddy, just wait until he actually starts coloring,” Chris said with glee. Jared threw Jensen a startled look, gaining more laughter from everyone else. Eventually the outlining was complete and Jensen looked down at it with approval.

“You ready for the color now?” Once again Jared sucked in a deep breath.

“Yep, let’s do this. Can’t stop now.”

“That’s my boy,” Jensen smiled.

“I wonder how many times he’s said that, too,” Mike repeated his statement from earlier. This time Jensen heard him and shot him a glare.

The coloring was interesting, to say the least. There were a few times that Jared would let out a sound of pain, causing Jensen to pull back and, in turn, making Chris yell at Jensen for being unprofessional and threatening to finish the job himself. It took some time, about two hours, but eventually the tattoo was done.

“Hey, guys, c’mere!” Jensen yelled. Everyone had scattered around, getting bored after a while, but they were all quick to come back, excited to see the final result.

“Oh my god!” Danneel exclaimed as she ran up to where Jared was lying.

“Well done,” Misha applauded.

“You wanna see?” Jensen asked to Jared. Jared only nodded and allowed Jensen to lead him the closest mirror. In the mirror Jared could see the tattoo that Jensen had created especially for him. It was a watercolor tattoo of a flower, the colors bleeding outside of the lines Jensen had sketched. There was an array of colors – yellow, red, blue, purple, orange, and green – all decorating the still reddened skin, but Jared was too focused on the way the sensitive skin felt with his heart beating behind it and the knowledge that Jensen made this all for him.

“It’s amazing,” he breathed, letting his fingers gently feel the raised skin.

“Yeah, it doesn’t look near as gay as I thought it was going to,” Chad commented unnecessarily.

“Thank you,” Jared said, turning to Jensen as a large bandage was placed across the still burning skin. He leaned down to press a kiss to his lips, the smile on his own lips already saying everything he couldn’t.

xxx

Later that night they were up in their place – the one they had moved in together two years ago – sitting on the couch with their dog in between them. Yes, Jensen had finally caved and agreed to getting a dog and, although he would never admit it, Jensen was pretty fond of the large dog Jared had lovingly named Harley.

As the credits began to roll on the show they were watching Jared stood up and stretched, briefly wincing as the skin that his tattoo was on was also stretched.

“You ready for bed?” he yawned, twisting around to look for the remote.

“Actually,” Jensen started, following Jared and standing up, “I sort of have a surprise.”

“Oh, I love surprises, especially from you. They either mean food, music, or great sex and you know I’m always up for any one of those,” Jared grinned. He allowed Jensen to grab his hand and lead them to their bedroom where he proceeded to pull his shirt off, his back to Jared. “Yep, definitely like where this is going.”

“Can you promise not to freak out?” Jensen asked, ignoring Jared’s comments. He didn’t give Jared time to answer though and simply turned around, face apprehensive. There on his left pectoral was the exact same tattoo that he had given Jared earlier that day. Jared’s eyes widened as he took in the bright colors and their contrast to his pale freckled skin. “I had Chris do it last week,” he muttered, eyes cast downward at the ink.

“That’s why you wouldn’t let me in the shower with you the other morning,” Jared commented. His eyes were still glued on the matching tattoo and he stepped forward to put a hand on it.

“It was my surprise. I designed it for you, but I thought…I thought that it might be nice, having something like this together.”

“But…” Jared started, finally making eye contact with Jensen. “It’s beautiful. It’s so beautiful, don’t get me wrong. But it doesn’t match your others.”

At that Jensen smiled and put a hand over Jared’s own, the one resting on his newest tattoo, and he leaned forward to rest their foreheads together.

“Maybe I just needed some color in my life. And that’s what you gave me.”


End file.
